The rules are:
1. I can put a movie back if I've already seen it.
2. I can put a movie back if it's a sequel to a movie I've never seen.
3. I can opt to put all five movies back on the shelves and grab another batch, but I can only do this once per trip.
AMAZONS AND GLADIATORS (2001)
Unlike other movies in this post, I'd actually heard of this one. The timing for me watching it is a bit weird considering it was the first thing I watched right after finishing up the final season of SPARTACUS. What initially drew me to this film when I first heard about it, coincidentally, was my documented obsession with the SPARTACUS television show and a sudden interest in watching Gladiator-related cinema of the obscure variety. The fact that it stars Jennifer Rubin was also partly responsible for sparking my curiosity.
Nichole Hiltz, who plays Serena. As much as I love Jennifer Rubin, let's face it: she's not the best actress out there. That said, I thought she was gonna stink up the joint, but she's actually fine in it thanks to her limited dialogue. AMAZONS AND GLADIATORS is more along the lines of something like HUNDRA rather than the insanely violent SPARTACUS show, so there's more of an emphasis on the adventure and female empowerment elements rather than excessive gore and action set-pieces. At 90 minutes, the film doesn't overstay its welcome and it's not as bad as I expected it to be. But, at the same time, I don't feel like I gained anything at all by watching it.
THINGS WE LOST IN THE FIRE (2007)
Allison Lohman in a film.
THE ROSE TATTOO (1955)
I'm really bad when it comes to catching up with the classics. Great cinema is great cinema, but there's still an undeniable disconnect between myself and older films. All the great actors and directors who worked during the yesteryears of cinema are pretty foreign to me for the most part. The bottom line is that films from that era are a huge "blindspot" for me, so it's always refreshing to watch the classics every once in a while. I didn't know anything about THE ROSE TATTOO going into it and the only person in the film I recognized was Burt Lancaster. My earliest memories of Burt Lancaster date back to seeing him in TOUGH GUYS back when I was a kid, which is probably not one of the films he'd like to be most remembered for. But apparently he was quite the hunk back in his day. When I checked this movie out at the video store, the older woman who rang me up paused when she saw Burt Lancaster on the DVD cover and started to fan herself like she got hot all of a sudden.
Anna Magnani's timeless performance is noteworthy.
WHITE COATS (2004)
Due to cost cutting, a group of hospital interns are forced to perform medical procedures that they aren't qualified for. Every possible gross-out hospital gag you can think of is in here. Exploding shit bags, botched surgeries, people vomiting into corpses, STD jokes, etc. WHITE COATS is mostly plotless and full of obvious jokes. In fact, I didn't even so much as chuckle a single time, but I wasn't exactly repulsed or offended by the film in any way. I've seen much worse when it comes to comedies that fall flat on their faces.
Christine Chatelain. Good lord. Oh, and Dan Aykroyd is in it.
CYBORG CONQUEST (2009)
When I picked this off the video store shelf, I was shocked to find out that this isn't an Asylum release. The artwork, which portrays a row of robots that look like carbon copies of TERMINATOR endoskeletons, just screams "Asylum cash-in", but it was actually distributed by First Look Studios, who've also been known to put out their share of bad, low-budget straight-to-DVD movies. And CYBORG CONQUEST (alternate title: CHROME ANGELS) is definitely a bad, low-budget straight-to-DVD movie.
Stacey Dash) are almost painful to watch. Third, the full potential of how awesome the characters could be is barely realized, and, unfortunately, some of them get lost in the shuffle and never get a chance to have their "moment". The biggest problem with the film, though, is that it just isn't very fun. It's not even enjoyable for the wrong reasons. I don't even care about the low-budget look and quality of the film because that's just the nature of the beast. CYBORG CONQUEST just drops the ball in every possible way when it comes to the fun factor. The gags are brutal, the plot is a mess, and the action is very disappointing. There's some decent eye candy in this, but that's about it.