The Death Rattle

The Woman (2011)

2012-01-29T21:19:00.000-08:00

Directed by Lucky McKee. Starring Pollyanna McIntosh ("The Woman"), Sean Bridgers ("Chris Cleek"), Angela Bettis ("Belle Cleek"), and Lauren Ashley Carter ("Peggy Cleek"). Rated R.

Source: Region 1 DVD (Bloody Disgusting/Viviendi)
Running time: 01:43:05
Country: USA

The father of a small-town family discovers a feral woman in the woods while hunting, and so he does what anyone in that situation would do by knocking her unconscious and subsequently tying her up in the basement. In all seriousness, the father, Chris Cleek, abducts the mysterious feral woman, holds her captive, and proudly displays her to the rest of the family as if it weren't a big deal. His intentions are to tame her and teach her manners, but his sadistic side gradually reveals itself, resulting in some rather disturbing scenes and a generally uncomfortable tone throughout the film.

THE WOMAN takes place in modern times, but yet the family is very atomic-age in terms of their behavior, appearance, and how they're structured. Chris, for instance, is the bread-winner and dominant figure in the household. For the most part, he has gosh golly nice-guy mannerisms, but it's made clear that it's merely a facade for the fact that he's a monster. His wife, Belle, is very subservient, and their oldest children, Peggy and Brian, are polar opposites of each other; Peggy is a socially-retarded teenager, and Brian, well, he's just a creepy little bastard. The youngest child, Darlin', seems to be the only normal one in the bunch. When dad reveals the feral woman to the family for the first time, their reactions to the unexpected sight speaks volumes in regards to their personalities. Especially when it comes to Brian, whose eyes light up when he sees the eponymous "Woman". You just know something's gonna happen between the two of them at some point, and seeing as this is partly a product of author Jack Ketchum's imagination, the twisted possibilities are endless.

Since its debut, THE WOMAN has been met with a fair bit of criticism from people in and out of the horror community. At its world premiere at the Sundance Film Festival last year, an upset viewer made a scene at the screening, essentially referring to the movie as a misogynist piece of cinema with no redeeming value. His rant, of course, was captured on video, uploaded to the internet, and even featured on the DVD release. At face value, THE WOMAN is indeed misogynist, but I have to wonder if the aforementioned critic actually sat through the entire film, because in all actuality it's far from being an anti-woman film. If anything, THE WOMAN is a very feminist film. The elements of misogyny are there, but they're at the expense of the male characters who are made to look like monsters.

"The Woman" - a character that first appeared in 2009's OFFSPRING - is oppressed throughout most of the film; had she remained that way for the entire duration of the film, or fatally succumbed to her inhumane treatment, then maybe one could argue that director Lucky McKee produced a sick masturbatory fantasy of the torture-porn variety, but the fact that she - (and this is not a huge spoiler since it's fairly obvious what will inevitably happen; a spoiler would be telling you what happens to who and HOW it happens) - eventually gets loose and reacts to her surroundings in a way that an uncivilized feral woman would naturally see fit, it's representative of a liberation. A woman's liberation, if you will.

All pretentiousness aside, I found THE WOMAN to be an incredible film and arguably Lucky McKee's best directorial effort thus far. I've heard it referred to as "boring", and I won't argue that it meanders and it's a pretty uneventful film at times, but such is usually the case with a movie that's more character-driven than plot-driven. I'd even go so far as to say that calling THE WOMAN a "horror movie" would be unfair. It's more of a dysfunctional family drama in which said family just so happens to have a woman locked up in their basement - a woman that acts as a catalyst for crumbling of the family's foundations. The final moments of THE WOMAN, however, are undeniably horror. As far as the film's family aspect, the Cleek family are so dysfunctional that it borders on comedic more often than not; darkly comedic, but funny nonetheless.

THE WOMAN is also impressive on a cinematic level. It's not a flashy movie by any means, but there's some impressive camera work and an excellent use of sound (or lack thereof) overall. The score by singer-songwriter and first-time composer Sean Spillane is great as well and one of the film's highlights for me. Most of the soundtrack consists of actual songs written and performed by Spillane (including some very odd choices as far as where they're placed in the film), but there are a few actual compositions per se, one of which is a haunting synth number layered with eerie sound effects. I could go on about the movie, but I think I've rambled long enough. When it was all said and done, THE WOMAN was pretty much what I expected in some respects, but as a whole it truly impressed me in a way that very few "horror" movies have done in the last few years. It's incredibly tense at times and just plain fucking weird for the most part. Best horror movie of 2011? Perhaps.

Score: 8

In the Name of the King 2: Two Worlds (2011)

2012-01-28T22:09:00.000-08:00

Directed by Uwe Boll. Starring Dolph Lundgren ("Granger"), Natassia Malthe ("Manhatten"), Lochlyn Munro ("The King"), and Christina Jastrzembska ("Holy Mother"). Rated R.

Source: Region 1 DVD (20th Century Fox)
Running time: 01:35:55
Country: Germany, Canada

In this sequel (in name only) to IN THE NAME OF THE KING, director Uwe Boll once again takes an established Action star and places him in medieval times to slay evil-doers, or something like that. While the previous film saw Jason Statham battling ogres and wizards, this one has more of a time travel aspect to it, which puts a twist on the medieval element. And who better to replace Statham than my second favorite Action star working today (and fellow EXPENDABLE), Dolph Lundgren. Say what you want about Dr. Boll, but he knows what's up when it comes to casting leading men in his movies.

Granger (Ludngren) is a Karate instructor and ex-soldier who, while in the midst of his annual tradition of mourning a fallen soldier he served with, is suddenly transported back in time from present-day Vancouver to the medieval ages by a warrior known as Ileana the Powerful, all while dodging masked sword-wielding baddies who followed her through the time portal. Granger was specifically sought out by Ileana; apparently he's a big deal considering she sacrificed her life to get him back in time safely. Once Granger finds himself in a village deep in the woods and realizes what's going on, he meets a character whose title speaks for itself: The King. It's revealed that Granger is "the Chosen One" and he was brought back in time to fulfill a prophecy. The enemies - a clan of rabid cannibals led by a powerful witch - are posing a serious threat to the kingdom, and Granger is their only hope.

Notable WTF Moment: When The King is introduced, the first thing you see is him straightening up his wig that he apparently just put on. The shot lasts for a couple of seconds. The thing is, there's absolutely no pay-off in regards to his wig. For whatever reason, he's established as wearing a wig, but at no point in the rest of the film do you see him without the wig, nor is their ever any reference to it.

One thing Uwe Boll does in his films is bring back a lot of the same actors he used in other movies. Such is the case here with actress Natassia Malthe, who worked with Boll on a few movies, namely the second and third BLOODRAYNE films, in which she played the lead role. Here, she Manhatten - a doctor of sorts and basically one of the top go-to people when it comes to The King. Most of you reading this probably know that I love me some Dolph Lundgren, so it goes without saying that he's the biggest draw for me when it comes to this film. The fact that he stars alongside Natassia Malthe is just an added bonus. While I don't particularly seek Natassia's films out, I will give them a shot based on her presence. Not that she's a great actress or anything, but I admire the fact that her career up to this point has been steeped in genre films. And she's hot. I mean, come on, there's no getting around that. Natassia Malthe is absolutely gorgeous, so there's that too. Dolph and Nattasia fortunately have great chemistry together, and it's their on-screen pairing that, in my opinion, makes this movie as entertaining as it is.

One of the main problems I had with the first IN THE NAME OF THE KING is that it was all over the place in terms of tone and performances. As I said in my Statham retrospective, some people played it straight while others hammed it up; sometimes an uneven tone works, but not in this case. In the sequel, however, there's more of a comedic and campy feel to the film that works to its advantage and results in a film that's superior to its predecessor in certain respects. There's a fish-out-of-water aspect to Dolph's character that, in theory, should make for some subtle comedic moments in the midst of everything else going on. Thankfully, Dolph seems to "get it" when it comes to playing Granger; he's absolutely hilarious in this and seems to understand what his character is all about. Dolph doesn't really portray Granger as a bad-ass (although there are certainly moments of bad-assness), but rather as someone who kinda just goes with the flow and can't quite grasp the concept of being the savior of an entire kingdom.

A strange creative decision that Boll makes with this film is including sporadic narration throughout from the point of view of Dolph's character. These bits of narration further the film's campy tone, especially with lines like (in Dolph's unmistakable accent of course): "I began my day with a protein shake and now I'm standing in a medieval sleeping hut." And speaking of Dolph, it wouldn't be one of his movies if the female characters weren't throwing themselves all over him. Can you blame them? It should be said, though, that there's no nudity, which is strange for an Uwe Boll film, and even more so when you consider the fact that Natassia Malthe certainly isn't shy when it comes to showing some skin. But I suppose there's a time and place for all of that.

Though entertaining and despite it being an Uwe Boll movie (which means it shouldn't be held to such a high standard), IN THE NAME OF THE KING 2 lacks in certain areas, namely the script and the fact that the movie as a whole looks pretty cheap. Most of the film's dialogue is exposition, and when the story shifts about half-way through and certain revelations are made in regard to certain characters, there's even more exposition on top of that; I'm sure most people who casually watch this movie won't even notice any of that, but it does kinda take away from the "quest" and adventure aspects of the plot. Also, there aren't really any establishing shots of where the film is set, so it basically just looks like a bunch of people are LARP-ing in some random Vancouver forest during the battle sequences.

People give Uwe Boll a lot of shit (myself included on occasion), but he seems to be getting better as a filmmaker and has already proven himself to be more than capable of making worthwhile, entertaining movies of the straight-to-DVD variety. And, to be fair, he's much better than a lot of other directors who dwell and thrive in the home-video market if he's provided with a fair amount of resources. Based on what I've seen of his movies so far, IN THE NAME OF THE KING 2 is one of his better efforts in terms of entertainment value and camp.

Score: 6.5

An American Crime (2007)

2012-01-22T19:26:00.001-08:00

Directed by Tommy O'Harver. Starring Catherine Keener ("Gertrude Baniszewski"), Ellen Page ("Sylvia Likens"), James Franco ("Andy"), and Bradley Whitford ("Prosecutor"). Rated R.

Source: Region 1 DVD (First Look)
Running time: 01:37:25
Country: USA

When their parents temporarily leave to work for the circus in an attempt to make some money and hopefully save their marriage, sisters Sylvia and Jenny are left with a seemingly friendly woman in the neighborhood named Gertrude Baniszewski, who has a few daughters of her own. Gertrude's hard up for cash, so she offers to watch the girls in exchange for twenty dollars a week. Things start out fine enough for the girls as they get along with Gertrude's kids, but things take a turn when Sylvia accidentally outs the eldest daughter as being pregnant, which in turn causes the eldest Baniszewski sibling to cover it up and blame it on Sylvia's imagination. Frustrated by this, and also because she's stressing about finances, Gertrude takes it out on the girls; especially Sylvia, who accepts the punishment on behalf of her younger Polio-stricken sister. What starts out as a beating turns into Sylvia being locked in the basement as Gertrude snaps and even allows her children to repeatedly abuse and humiliate Sylvia for their own amusement.

Have you seen (or read) Jack Ketchum's THE GIRL NEXT DOOR. Well, AN AMERICAN CRIME - a period film set in the 60's - is based on the true story that loosely inspired Ketchum's disturbing story of young girl who was locked up and tortured in the basement of a family who lived in her neighborhood. Based on actual testimonies and court transcripts from the case that saw single mother Gertrude Baniszewski convicted of first degree murder in 1966, AN AMERICAN CRIME premiered on the Showtime network and was nominated for various awards despite negative reviews. That being said, it goes without saying what the outcome of this story is.

Like Ketchum's GIRL NEXT DOOR (which I've both read and watched), AN AMERICAN CRIME is incredibly frustrating and a chore to get through, because you're basically just watching a single mother slowly losing her mind and a helpless young girl getting abused for about ninety minutes. That's pretty much it. On top of that, you have all of these supporting characters who you want to punch in the face for obvious reasons, and at the same time you want to knock some sense into the heads of certain characters who don't necessarily partake in the cruel proceedings but prove to be morons nonetheless when they refuse to go to the authorities.

Prior to watching it, I had no idea what this movie was about, let alone that it was based on the same story that inspired Ketchum's GIRL NEXT DOOR, which I hated (both the book and the movie). Despite being made well aware of this as I watched the film and did some research less than twenty minutes into it, I bit the bullet and decided to watch it all the way through since I had already included this movie on a list of films that I want to cover. For what it's worth, I prefer this version of the story over Ketchum's - mainly because it's not as infuriating, but also because I feel it's a better-made film. Regardless, it's not a pleasant film, the true story, though tragic and incredibly sad, is tame compared to some of the shit you see in the news today, and it has zero re-watchability, unless of course you find entertainment in Ellen Page being tortured.

Score: 6

The Boss (1973)

2012-01-20T23:38:00.001-08:00

Directed by Fernando Di Leo. Starring Henry Silva ("Nick Lanzetta"), Richard Conte ("Don Corrasco"), Gianni Garko ("Commissario Torri"), and Antonia Santilli ("Rina D'Aniello"). Rated R.

Source: Region 1 DVD (Raro)
Running time: 01:49:20
Country: Italy

Rounding out Fernando Di Leo's Milieu Trilogy (which also consists of CALIBER 9 and THE ITALIAN CONNECTION) is THE BOSS (also known as WIPEOUT!), which is basically a mafia soap opera. Henry Silva, who appeared as one of the antagonists in Di Leo's ITALIAN CONNECTION, gets a chance to shine here as lead character Nick Lanzetta - the only American in a powerful Italian crime family and the strongarm for Don D'Aniello, who Nick thinks of as a father. For me to really get into the plot and talk about the characters would be quite tedious since this is a rather dense film, and it would also be complicated due to the fact that there are twists and turns throughout the film, all the way up to the very final scene. The best way that I can sum it up is like this: a mass murder of a crime family causes a major shake-up in the organized crime world, and a struggle for power involving rival crime families ensues; a bunch of sleazy stuff that you'd come to expect from an Italian genre film happens in the meantime.

Now that I've seen the entire Milieu Trilogy, I can easily say that this is the weakest of the bunch, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's bad. I disliked THE BOSS for a few reasons, but it's not so much a comment on the quality of the film as it is what I personally got from it. For one, I found it extremely hard to follow. This is a movie that requires your undivided attention; otherwise you're not gonna know what the fuck is going on, and this is partly due to the vast amount of characters - some of whom are important people but get very little screen time, if that makes any sense. Just to give you an idea of how cluttered it is, THE BOSS feels like an entire season of a television show crammed into a 110-minute film, and I don't mean that in a good way. Certain aspects of the storyline were brushed over, and you don't really know enough about some of the characters to care about what's going on. But, to be fair, you do get the gist of what everyone's about.

On the bright side, the cast is great. Gianni Garko, who's mostly remembered for playing the recurring Spaghetti Western character Sartana, appears in THE BOSS as a corrupt police comissioner. Garko has a great presence, so it's unfortunate that Di Leo didn't really use him too much in this. He has a decent amount of screen time and plays an important character, but I wished he would have been featured more prominently. One of Garko's mannerisms that I like is that he talks with his hands when he acts, and when he does, it looks like he's conducting an orchestra. It's quite funny. The star of the show, however, is Henry Silva. He's actually restrained throughout most of the film because of the silent, no-bullshit type of character he plays, but there are a few moments where he goes a little over the top and Silvas it up. My favorite Henry Silva moment in the film didn't even involve him delivering any dialogue, but rather him blowing up a room full of mannequins with a modified grenade launcher.

As with some other Eurocrime films, this one makes a commentary on corruption and how the mafia has a choke-hold on seemingly every aspect of society. What I do like about how Di Leo approaches the subject of the mafia with this film and creates a narrative out of it is that there are no "white hats" or good guys. Everyone in the film is corrupt in some way, which keeps things interesting in terms of the viewer not knowing who to trust. THE BOSS alludes to there being one person remaining as the last man standing once the struggle for power and the mafia war reaches its end - it's just a matter of who it is and by what means. To the film's credit, things don't exactly turn out the way you expect, but, as I said earlier, I found it really hard to care when that time came. However, I have a feeling that, with repeat viewings, I may hold this one in higher regard that THE ITALIAN CONNECTION, but CALIBER 9 will always be my personal favorite of the three.

Score: 6.5

Top 13 2000-2009 Films That I Saw for the First Time in 2011

2012-01-19T01:00:00.000-08:00

#13 BUBBLE - A lot of directors working under the Hollywood umbrella have a tendency to give in to studio demands if it means occasionally having the creative freedom (and funding) to produce something a bit more personal than a director-for-hire blockbuster type of movie. Steven Soderbergh is probably one of the more extreme examples of this. A quick glimpse at his filmography will reveal an inclination to go back and forth between mainstream and indie films. BUBBLE, a small-town murder mystery with non-actors in the lead roles, was made for a little over a million dollars in between the big-budget second and third installments of the OCEAN'S movies. Aside from being a director that I deeply admire, Steven Soderbergh is also a wonderful cinematographer, and BUBBLE partly seemed like a project for him to kinda play around with photography; it has a dark beauty to it that ties in to the film's decayed Midwestern setting.

#12 SYNECDOCHE, NEW YORK - My brain hurts just thinking about how to put my thoughts and feelings on this film into words, so I won't even bother. SYNECDOCHE runs the gamut of emotions and moods. It's funny, sad, depressing, quirky, and there's even a bit of Cronenberg-esque body horror in it. Most of all, it's downright odd, but it never feels like it's being weird just for the sake of being weird; it genuinely comes across as the work of the mad genius that is writer/director Charlie Kaufman.

#11 DISTRICT B13 - A fun French action movie that was recommended to me by Elwood Jones as part of the whole Reader's Choice theme I did last year. I was well aware of this movie beforehand but didn't really have any desire to see it despite my fondness for modern genre films from France, so I can't thank Elwood enough for finally giving me an excuse to watch it. There's never a dull moment in the film and the stunts are nothing short of amazing. You can read my full review of it here.

#10 [REC] - I made the mistake of watching this film's insta-remake QUARANTINE first; not that it didn't make me want to see [REC] eventually (I actually quite enjoyed the remake), but seeing as they're basically the same movie, it was one of those "why bother" kinda things. I finally got around to seeing this in early 2011, and unlike most modern-day horror movies that bloggers and various critics seem to gush about, this thrilling Spanish found-footage horror movie actually lived up to the hype. Of course there's an insane amount of suspension of disbelief when it comes to this movie, but the same can be said for many horror movies out there, found-footage or not. From start to finish, [REC] is a fun ride full of well-executed scares and "holy shit" moments. Also, I personally found the lead actress, Manuela Velasco, to be really sexy, so that helped too. I also watched the sequel last year when it hit DVD, and while I did enjoy parts of it, as a whole it felt like it was just beating a dead horse.

#9 LONDON - A surprisingly solid little rom-dram (is that even a term?) that, according to IMDB, was only made for approximately 21.5 thousand dollars. I'm not sure how accurate that is considering the film's lead roles were played by A-list actors including Jessica Biel, Chris Evans (although his profile was considerably lower back then), and Jason Statham. Did they all work for free or something? Whatever the case, this film was impressive on many levels. I wrote a little bit about it in my Jason Statham retrospective, which you can check out here.

#8 LOOK - LOOK exposes the viewer to what happens when the lives of various people - ranging from a teenage girl who's trying to seduce her teacher to perverted department store manager to a pedophile who stalks young children - clash in some form or another; the catch is that the entire film consists of surveillance footage. Even more so than the concept of the film (and how well it was executed), I was impressed by how sleazy and graphic this movie was. And, for a movie that technically lacks a plot and is made up, essentially, of small-talk and gossip between people, it's truly captivating. Giuseppe Andrews, who plays a convenience store cashier, also provides a few songs for the film's soundtrack.

#7 TERRIBLY HAPPY - Matt from Chuck Norris Ate My Baby farted in my direction when he recommended this movie for my Reader's Choice theme, and MAN did it smell good. This is a weird Danish drama about a cop who gets re-assigned to a small rural town and subsequently uncovers some dark secrets about the citizens who live there. Doesn't sound like much, but trust me when I say that it's tense, well-written, and masterfully executed. You can check out my review of it here.

#6 ELECTRIC DRAGON 80.000V - Because of a childhood accident, lead character Dragon Eye Morrison has 80-thousand volts of electricity running through his body at all times. Of course that much electricity running through his body makes it extremely complicated to live a normal life, causing him to sort of isolate himself from the rest of society in his adult years. On the other hand, his unique defect has made him pretty awesome at playing guitar, which he does on occasion throughout the film to an audience of various reptiles that he lives with.

This Japanese art film builds to a battle between Electric Dragon Morrison and a half human/half robot character by the name of Thunderbolt Buddha (pictured above). It's not exactly clear why Thunderbolt Buddha has a vendetta against Electric Dragon, but it doesn't really matter. It's not about the plot, but more so the visuals and the atmosphere. Even the dialogue is few and far between. And, speaking of visuals, if SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD went back in time, had unprotected sex with ERASERHEAD and got struck by lightning at the point of orgasm, its baby would be this film. This sixty-minute juggernaut of manga-style action mixed with relentless, heavily-distorted rock n' roll blew my mind and had me doing backflips by the time it was over.

#5 SUNSHINE - In my opinion, one of the most visually-stunning films of the last decade, and a good companion piece to Sci-Fi films like SOLARIS and MOON. It would probably be higher on the list if it weren't for the controversial and much talked about conclusion of the film; it wasn't so much that I had a problem with the awkward, unexpected turn that the film takes in the back end, but rather the execution. Otherwise solid, with an amazing score by John Murphy.

#4 IN THE VALLEY OF ELAH - I'm sure this is "been there done that" old news to everyone by now, so I won't waste a lot of time talking about the movie or explaining why I liked it so much. Charlize Theron is easily one of my top three favorite actresses working right now, and I love seeing her in non-glamorous roles such as this as much as I do in her sexier roles. It's also no shock that Tommy Lee Jones turns in one hell of a performance, and probably one of the bests of his career that I've seen. Finally, it says a lot when a film is able to truly disturb me with a certain revelation without actually showing me anything. This military-themed murder mystery is a movie that sort of hits close to home, and it's one of the few movies I saw in 2011 that impacted me on a significant level.

#3 THE PUSHER TRILOGY - Decided to go with the whole trilogy instead of just my favorite of the bunch (Part II) despite the first not fitting into the criteria of movies made after the year 2000. Over a period of nine years, director Nicolas Winding Refn (DRIVE) made three films that each follow a flawed character who's somehow connected to the criminal underworld. In the first, a small-time dealer finds himself in some deep shit with a drug lord and scrambles to get himself out of it. In the second, an ex-con (and also the former best friend of the lead character in the first movie) attempts to go straight but finds that it's easier said than done. In the third and final film, the same drug lord from the first movie tries to juggle both planning the wedding of his daughter and making the best of an underwhelming drug shipment that he needs to get rid of, all while trying to stay sober. In the PUSHER films, you really get to see Refn grow as a filmmaker, seeing as the first was his directorial debut and he had two other films under his belt by the time he made the second, and with that you get a variety from these films in terms of how they're presented and structured (although there are definitely recurring themes and flourishes of note). Personally, I loved the second one significantly more than the other two because of the performance of Mads Mikkelsen in the lead role, and also because of the score and soundtrack (it's safe to say by now that Refn is a master when it comes to using music in his films).

#2 TALK TO HER - I'm almost ashamed to say it, but this was my first - and to this date, only - Pedro Almodóvar film. I'm glad that I started with this one, because it left such an impression on me in regards to Almodóvar as a filmmaker. TALK TO HER (also written by Almodóvar) is a romantic drama with elements of black comedy that revolves around two women in a coma and the men who love them. The film spirals out of control as the characters involved (namely the men) seal their fates based on certain questionable decisions they make, building to an unexpected outcome for everyone involved. Nothing much to say about it other than it's a gorgeous, extremely well-written film with wonderful performances from everyone involved. I attempted to follow this up with Almodóvar's VOLVER, but when it became clear that it wouldn't be as half as good as this one, I decided to take a rain check.

#1 EXILED - Another director first for me, EXILED was my first ever Johnnie To film, and it marked the beginning of a short-lived run of his movies that failed to live up to how excellent this one was. EXILED is a crime movie with a twist, in that a marked man develops a friendship between the two hitmen who were sent to kill him and the two who were sent to protect him. Of course there's a reason why these characters develop a mutual respect for each other that blossoms into a friendship, but talking about it would reveal one of the surprises that this superb and surprisingly endearing Hong Kong crime movie has to offer. Everything about this film, from the cinematography to the Gun Fu to the shimmery electric guitar score is top notch. Great ensemble cast (apparently they all worked together on at least one other Johnnie To movie) and a wonderful tale of friendship that transcends a life of crime, if that makes any sense. Yep, I'm pretty much head over heels with this movie.

Top 13 Pre-2000 HORROR Films That I Saw for the First Time in 2011

2012-01-15T00:59:00.000-08:00

#13 MANHUNTER - I'm pretty sure I saw this at some point back in the day, but I don't believe I've ever watched it in its entirety until late in 2011. While I do like the Hannibal Lector films, they aren't movies that I go out of my way to see, and the same can be said for the films of director Michael Mann. It could also be argued that, like SILENCE OF THE LAMBS and the films that followed it, this a thriller and not a horror movie. Whatever. There's a serial killer in it and I wanted to include it on this list, so shut your stupid mouth. All of that being said, it's no accident that MANHUNTER went unseen by me for many years. Now that I finally got caught up on it, it's a movie that I'm obviously glad I got to see. MANHUNTER is a slow burn and even though I thought lead actor William Petersen was good, he doesn't exactly scream "leading man". However, it's beautifully shot and one of the more stylish American serial killer films out there. Tom Noonan is chilling as Francis Dollarhyde, and the initial reveal of his character is utterly creepy.

#12 SNAPSHOT - A model is stalked by a dangerous admirer. Pretty simple. I liked this one mostly because of the cast, and especially lead actress Sigrid Thornton, who plays the damsel in distress. High Keays-Byrne of MAD MAX fame is great as an eccentric photographer, as is Chantal Contouri as the wealthy woman who takes a liking to Thornton's character and introduces her to the world of modeling after getting her to quit her job at a hair salon. You can check out my brief review of the film here. Again, not something I'd strongly recommend to anyone, nor is it particularly outstanding, but there's something about it that appealed to me.

#11 DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK - What some would consider an essential made-for-TV horror movie was recently remade and co-written by Guillermo del Toro, so I thought there would be no better time than now (well, a few months ago) to finally watch it. Perhaps I'll talk about the remake some other time, but as for this particular film, it's one of those movies that I watch and find myself in absolute awe that it aired on network television once upon a time. It's not a perfect horror movie by any means, and some would probably say that the creature effects in the film are rather goofy, but there's something consistently unsettling about the film. It's quite strange as a whole, and there are moments in the film that are genuinely frightening. I was hoping the remake would finally lead to a legitimate release of this film (it was unavailable for many years until Warner made it available as an on-demand DVDR), but alas, like the creatures in the film, it remains in the dark.

#10 PSYCHO - As much as I love two filmmakers who were greatly inspired by Hitchcock, Dario Argento and Brian De Palma, I haven't had much of a desire to go back and watch his films. I watched a handful of them in high school, but haven't really made any attempt to see his movies since. I'm sure I may have caught some (or most) of PSYCHO on television over the years, but it wasn't until some time in 2011 that I sat down to watch it all the way through. I've heard people call this film overrated and go on to praise PEEPING TOM as the better of the two essential "proto-slashers", but, for me, this one lived up to my expectations and then some. Masterful camera work, a great performance by Anthony Perkins, and generally well-constructed. It's just a shame that, because it's been talked about so much since it's release, it's almost impossible to go into this movie completely oblivious to the numerous tricks that it has up its sleeves. It's funny how, over time, what was once considered an important plot twist has become common knowledge, but yet it doesn't affect the film at all. PSYCHO should be higher on the list, but it's not a film that I'll revisit any time soon.

#9 GANJA AND HESS - Perhaps one of the most ambiguous examples of an unconventional horror film that I've ever seen. Duane Jones of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD stars as the eponymous Hess (Dr. Hess to be exact) who meets a mysterious woman named Ganja, played by the lovely Marlene Clark. Together, the two engage in bizarre blood-drinking rituals in a film that acts as a metaphor for an uncontrollable addiction. This unique film culminates in a wonderful church scene in which Hess may or may not turn to God to be cleansed of said addiction, incorporating the religious iconography that has become commonplace in vampire lore. It's an extremely well put together, albeit bare bones, film with a borderline experimental score from Sam Waymon, who also starred in the movie as a preacher. GANJA AND HESS is a great conversation piece and, arguably, and important film in early black cinema.

#8 STRANGE BEHAVIOR - An odd Aussie horror film that begins as a slasher before veering off into mad science territory. A demented scientist draped in mystery turns a group of teenagers into thoughtless murderers. STRANGE BEHAVIOR is a flawed film and not great by any means, but there's something about the film's tone and atmosphere that appealed to me a great deal. I adore the synthy Tangerine Dream score, as well as the occasional use of non-original pop music throughout the film, especially "Jumping out a Window" by New Zealand New Wave act Pop Mechanix in the end credits. There's also a cool Halloween party scene that put a smile on my face, in which a bunch of teenagers dance in synchronicity to Lou Christie's "Lightning Strikes". The film aslo teases what could have been a great slasher with a killer in a goofy Tor Johnson mask. Never got around to reviewing this one, but maybe I'll talk about it more one day.

#7 DAUGHTERS OF DARKNESS - Dark, atmospheric, sexy, and downright bizarre. Admittedly, I've always had a soft spot for the vampire genre. When done right and handled with care by people who bring a certain level of intelligence and creativity to the table, vampire movies can be fascinating and among the best that the horror genre has to offer. That beng said, DAUGHTERS OF DARKNESS, despite being flawed, is an outstanding vampire movie for a number of reasons, which you can read about here.

#6 HOUSE ON SORORITY ROW - HOUSE ON SORORITY ROW begins as a pretty standard campus slasher with surprisingly entertaining moments scattered throughout, but then it takes a completely awesome turn in the final act and introduces an almost Dario Argento feel with gelled lighting and a Goblin-esque score from composer Richard Band. The atmosphere gets turned up to eleven in the back end of the film, turning an otherwise decent slasher into a rather impressive piece of filmmaking. It takes a while for this one to pick up in terms of delivering the traditional slasher elements, but once it reaches that point, it becomes a fast-paced series of kill scenes and slasher conventions. Kate McNeil is impressive as the Final Girl (who I also praised here), rivaling Amy Steel of FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2 and APRIL FOOL'S DAY fame. Yeah, I said it. There's a severed head in a toilet that makes an appearance, making this one of three '80s slashers that I'm aware of to feature such a thing. Overall, a damn fine slasher film.

#5 MAGIC - Horror films with puppets are hit or miss. Some filmmakers know how to use them and others can't seem to take full advantage of how inherently creepy dolls and puppets are. I'd say (based on what I've seen) there's a short list of horror movies that get it right, and MAGIC is definitely one of those films. Anthony Hopkins plays a failing magician whose career gets a boost when he incorporates a ventriloquist puppet into his act. However, he leaves it all behind when he travels out to the country and attempts to rekindle an old friendship with a woman whom he crushed on for many years (Ann-Margret). In the meantime, Hopkins regularly has conversations with his puppet. As the film progresses, the puppet seemingly turns on Hopkins and develops the ability to move at will - or does it? As a fan of psychological horror films with unreliable narrators, I found MAGIC to be utterly impressive because of its ambiguity, not to mention the fact that it's incredibly creepy for obvious reasons.

#4 HOUSE WITH THE LAUGHING WINDOWS - This was another title that came up when I reached out to the Death Rattlers for my Reader's Choice theme. I was a bit surprised when Karl Brezdin from the Fist of B-List picked this one for me to review; I expected him to drop some machismo action movies on me since those are the films that I most associate him with (check out his great blog and you'll know why), but instead he picked this Italian horror film, which I had previously heard about and was planning on seeing sooner or later but obviously had never gotten around to. Karl picking it made me finally move it to the top of my must-see list, and I'm extremely glad it worked out that way. There's nothing funny about HOUSE WITH THE LAUGHING WINDOWS. It's a dark, eerie, atmospheric, and just flat out fucking weird. Check out my review of it here.

#3 CRITTERS 2 - I may have seen this back and the day as a little brat, perhaps on VHS or on cable late one night, but it doesn't really stick out in my memory, so I'm counting my recent viewing of CRITTERS 2 as a first. I watched this towards the very end of the year, as I had purchased the set of all four CRITTERS films for pretty cheap and decided to check out the sequels. Well, the viewing of the subsequent films didn't really pan out like I had expected. I watched the third and the first few minutes of the fourth, and it was apparent that none of them could even come close to the second one in terms of entertainment value.

The second CRITTERS is far and away the best of the four because it takes everything you could expect from these campy B-movies and turns it up to eleven. One of my favorite gimmicks of these films is the fact that the intergalactic bounty hunters are faceless beings who assume the identities of humans in order to blend in on Earth, and this particular entry in the series does a great job of playing with that gimmick and using it for comedic effect. At one point, one of the bounty hunters turns into 80's comedic actor Eddie Deezen, and at one point it's teased that the same bounty hunter will turn into Freddy Krueger before one of his cohorts puts a stop to it. Aside from that, this movie features some great violence and lots of laughs, and those Critters are just so gosh darn cute. Also, CHEESBURGERS!

#2 CAT PEOPLE - Directed by one of American cinema's greatest assets, Paul Schrader, this remake of the Val Lewton-produced CAT PEOPLE is a tad overlong and it kinda drags in spots, but I absolutely adored it. This strange little erotic horror film is very sexy, beautifully filmed, has an atmosphere akin to Italian horror movies, and has a wonderful synth-heavy score from one of my favorite composers of the 80's, Giorgio Moroder. In fact, I love the score so much that I'm actually listening to it as I write this post. However, it's the gorgeous Nastassja Kinski who I find to be the most noteworthy thing about this film; with her exotic beauty, I can't think of anyone at the time who would have been more perfect for the role she played. If you desire, you can read my full review of the film here. Meow.

#1 HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER - Along with PSYCHO, HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER was one of my more important horror firsts of 2011. Just for the simple fact that this movie has already been talked about to death, I opted not to review it last year, but it did come up in a couple of my short-lived Death Rattle Arena posts, where I paired it up against two other films to see which was the more dominant piece of cinema.

Going back and watching the "classics" is something I don't do very often. For the last couple of years, discovering underseen films for myself or wading through the sewers of somewhat obscure cinema is something I prefer over educating myself and striving to be a knowledgeable cinephile. Plus, more often than not, the "classics" bore me and I'd rather watch a movie about a masked killer who slays big-titty college girls. But HENRY is one of those films that not only was I glad to go back and see, but a film that made me think to myself: "I've been missing out all these years." Don't get me wrong, I would have gotten to it eventually, but you know how that goes. So many movies, not enough hours in a day.

One of the things that I like about HENRY is that it doesn't glorify murder, and the film never really basks in the violence; it's more of a reminder that, yes, there are fucked up people out there, and there will always be fucked up people out there. What surprised me about HENRY was how occasionally funny it was despite everything else. The on-screen pairing of Michael Rooker and Tom Towles is wonderful; I could easily watch an entire series of non-related films with the both of them playing buddies in various scenarios. And that theme song. Simple yet powerful and undeniably haunting.

Top 13 Pre-2000 Films That I Saw for the First Time in 2011

2012-01-12T03:34:00.000-08:00

This will be the first in a series of lists that I'll be posting throughout the month and most likely in February as well. As for pre-2000 movies I saw for the first time in 2011, I'll be doing a separate list for horror movies. It should be said, three of the movies on this list are films that I hadn't heard of and probably wouldn't have watched if they weren't recommended to me by readers of this blog.

#13 CALIBER 9 - There's no point in regurgitating what I already talked about in my original review of this film, but I'll just say that CALIBER 9 is one of the most solid Eurocrime films I've ever seen, with a great cast and one hell of an ending. Lead actor Gastone Moschin (normally a comedic actor from what I understand) is superb as the underdog of sorts, Mario Adorf plays a memorable scumbag, and Barbara Bouchet, who plays the love interest of Moschin's character, is a goddess.

#12 THE LIMEY - In my opinion, one of director Steven Soderbergh's most memorable films thanks to some unorthodox editing and a great performance from Terence Stamp as a pissed-off Brit who travels to Hollywood with hopes that he can put the pieces of the puzzle together in regards to the mysterious death of his daughter. THE LIMEY partly focuses on the fish-out-of-water aspect of Stamp's character adapting to not only life outside of prison after spending a considerably long stint behind bars, but the culture shock that he gets when settling in Los Angeles. There's a great supporting cast here as well, with Peter Fonda, Barry Newman from VANISHING POINT, Luis Guzman (who's always great in Soderbergh's films by the way), Joe Dallesandro, and Nicky Katt, but it's ultimately Stamp who knocks it out of the park. Soderbergh brilliantly works in footage from one of Stamp's older films, POOR COW, as flashback scenes, which is a nice touch.

#11 PLACE WITHOUT LIMITS - Neil Fulwood from Agitation of the Mind picked this one for me to cover as part of a Reader's Choice thing I did last year. I had never even heard of it prior to his recommendation; ironically, it was one of the films that I was least looking forward to seeing, and it ended up being one of the better picks that I covered. You can check out my review of it here if you'd like to know more about this solid Mexican drama about a flamenco-dancing transvestite who runs a bordello with his prostitute daughter.

#10 ELECTRA GLIDE IN BLUE - To me, this is one of the movies that epitomizes what 70's Americana cinema is all about. Robert Blake is fantastic as a somewhat vertically-challenged Arizona highway patrolman who finally lands his dream job of working in the homicide department. I don't remember if I mentioned this in my original review of the film, but it has without a doubt one of the best endings I've ever seen in a movie.

#9 FIVE ELEMENT NINJAS - A hilarious and extremely over-the-top movie from Shaw Bros. studios about a Martial Arts master who assigns his best students the task of taking out a group of deadly ninjas who base their style and methods of attack on the five elements. Brian from Cool Ass Cinema picked this one for me to cover as yet another Reader's Choice pick, and, obviously, it really left an impression on me. Admittedly, I'm very underwatched when it comes to Martial Arts films (Shaw Bros. or otherwise) and it's a huge "blind spot" for me when it comes to genre cinema, so I didn't really have any context to base this movie on; I just took it at face value and had a lot of fun with it. Check out my review of it here.

#8 THE HURRICANE - This one should be much, much higher on the list if I were to base it on how much I enjoyed it upon watching it, but it frankly didn't sit very well with me when I did some research on the film after the fact and found that most of what was presented in the movie was basically bullshit and either greatly exaggerated or completely fabricated compared to what actually happened to Rubin "Hurricane" Carter - the person whom this "biopic" was based on (I admit, I knew nothing about this person prior to seeing the movie outside of hearing the Bob Dylan song "Hurricane"). Fortunately, this revelation hasn't completely tainted my thoughts on the film; I enjoyed it immensely for what it was and thought Denzel Washington did an amazing job in it.

#7 LONE WOLF AND CUB 2: BABY CART AT THE RIVER STYX - One of my most rewarding movie-watching projects of 2011 was checking out the entire LONE WOLF AND CUB series. These are truly amazing samurai films, and in all honesty I should just put the entire series together as a single entry and place them very close to the top of the list, but I thought I'd show some love to a couple of individual LONE WOLF films that left the biggest impression on me. In retrospect, this was probably my favorite of the series in terms of enjoyability, and it's the one that I'm more likely to go back and revisit as a standalone film, but I opted to keep it lower on the list than another film in the series for reasons that I'll talk about when I get to that particular film. Lead character Ogami Itto's foes in this film are, quite simply, fucking bad-ass, and that's all I'll say for now. Reviewed it here.

#6 JESUS' SON - Yet another Reader's Choice pick (this one being suggested by J.D. of Radiator Heaven) and my absolute favorite of the bunch. It's really hard to put into words why I love this movie; some films just hit you on a personal level and some don't. I certainly admired the fact that it was able to perfectly balance comedy, drama, surrealism, and romance without being an utter mess. You can check out my review of it here if you'd like.

#5 PERFORMANCE - I really had no expectations going into this one and I honestly didn't even know what it was about; I had only sought it out after learning about the film's co-director Donald Cammell (DEMON SEED), who had an interesting career as a filmmaker before committing suicide in the 90's. Apparently Cammell and legendary Rolling Stones frontman and one of the lead actor's in PERFORMANCE, Mick Jagger, ran in the same circles as avant-garde filmmaker Kenneth Anger, whose films I only discovered for myself a couple of years ago and quickly grew fascinated with. To call this bizarre British film a "pleasant surprise" would be a huge understatement. Yep, reviewed this one too. Check it out here.

#4 LONE WOLF AND CUB: SWORD OF VENGEANCE - The first installment of the LONE WOLF AND CUB series. Like Martial Arts films, which I talked about earlier in this post, my cinema education is sorely lacking when it comes to the Samurai films of Japan - and, yes, this includes pretty much all of the essential Akira Kurosawa films. Shame on me! As I talked about in my review, SWORD OF VENGEANCE is visually stunning films with an engaging story, great characters, and a high body count. Most importantly, it introduced me to actor Tomisaburo Wakayama, who is without a doubt one of the coolest-looking motherfuckers I've ever seen step foot in front of a camera. Full review here.

#3 DOBERMANN - A squad of bumbling criminals, led b the ruthless Inspector Cristini, attempt to nab a group of thieves who are in the middle of a string of bank robberies. The criminals are led by the charismatic Dobermann (Vincent Cassel), and comprising the group are a colorful assortment of characters who resemble a cross between larger-than-life comic book caricatures, crime movie stereotypes, and a band of Gypsies who co-exist in a nomadic, family-like atmosphere. Being the Vincent Cassel completist that I am, I had to go out of my way to see this one since it's not his most readily available film in North America, and by "go out of my way to see it" I mean bust out the ol' wallet for once and order the movie through Amazon instead of renting it. You can read my review of this film here and my pre-DOBERMANN love letter to Vinnie Cass here.

#2 SANTA SANGRE - Aside from the obvious pretentiousness that comes with the territory of Jodorowsky's work, I didn't know what to expect from SANTA SANGRE since I didn't read too much into it beforehand. Needless to say, I enjoyed the film quite a bit. To be more specific, I was surprised by how jaw-droppingly gorgeous it was, but even more so than that, I was stunned by how coherent it was. SANTA SANGRE is all over the place in terms of influences and styles: Universal Monsters, Tod Browning's FREAKS, Lucha, Hitchcock, and Dario Argento just to name a few. It would have probably been a train-wreck of a film in the hands of a lesser filmmaker, but Jodorowsky created what I can honestly say is one of the most gorgeous, unique, endearing and refreshing films that I've ever seen in my life. It's impossible to sum this movie up in just a single paragraph, so I highly urge anyone who hasn't seen it to give it a shot and see this glorious piece of cinema for yourself. Also, I'm a sucker for the carnival/sideshow aesthetic, and this film nails it.

#1 SLING BLADE - Yes, my favorite pre-200 film that I watched for the first time last year is SLING BLADE. I honestly couldn't tell you why it's eluded me for so long, and I was certainly aware of it ever since its release. It's just one of those things, I guess. Really, is there anything to say about fucking SLING BLADE? It's a damn near masterpiece of American cinema. Despite Billy Bob Thornton being an asshole with delusions of rock stardom, he made himself one hell of a movie with SLING BLADE. Thornton does an excellent job both behind and in front of the camera, having pulled what I can only assume was not an easy double-duty as director and lead actor; and not just an actor, but an actor playing the role of a simple-minded man-boy with a darkside. For what it is, SLING BLADE is flawless. I'm glad I saw it finally saw it for the first time in 2011 and I can't wait to see it again.

Patrick (1978)

2012-01-10T22:38:00.000-08:00

Directed by Richard Franklin. Starring Susan Penhaligon ("Kathy Jacquard"), Robert Helpmann ("Doctor Roget"), Rod Mullinar ("Ed Jacquard"), and Bruce Barry ("Brian Wright"). Rated PG.

Running time: 01:52:09
Country: Australia

PATRICK is considered to be one of the most important Australian horror movies of the "Ozploitation" era and a noteworthy mark in director Richard Franklin's filmography. The film begins with the eponymous character apparently reaching his breaking point and killing both his mother and her lover by electrocuting them in the bath tub. For reasons that are never made crystal clear, Patrick falls into a coma and subsequently winds up in the very hospital where the remainder of the film takes place.

Looking over the unconscious Patrick is a young nurse named Kathy, who works under the supervision of the domineering Matron Cassidy. As the film goes on and Kathy's curiosity gets in the way of her job performance, she gradually notices strange things while taking care of Patrick - behavior that defies his symptoms and things that no one else besides her witnesses. Long story short, Patrick somehow falls in love with Kathy despite his vegetative state and uses telekinesis to communicate with her through a typewriter and cause harm to the people in her life.

There's a sub-plot involving Kathy and her estranged husband going through a separation as she begins dating another man. Of course this new love interest of hers comes into play as the film draws closer to its conclusion and the seemingly brain-dead Patrick somehow grows jealous and aims his mind-rage at the bloke. On top of that, Patrick is essentially being used as a test subject by a doctor who's obsessed with the separation of the body and its "essence". Besides the point, but the placement of this doctor - a man of science - in a Catholic hospital is interesting in that it creates a very subtle commentary on religion versus science that doesn't really play a role in the overall plot.

The late Richard Franklin was said to be inspired greatly by Alfred Hitchock, and in PATRICK it shows. The main source of influence here seems to be PSYCHO, as evidenced by the similar font used during the opening credits sequence, as well as a number of ambitious camera shots used throughout the film that resemble scenes from the aforementioned Hitchcock thriller. Some could argue that PATRICK is a slow-burn, or that it's overlong and takes far too long to get to the "good stuff", but anyone with an appreciation for creative and aspirational filmmaking will have enough decent cinematic moments to chew on in the meantime. And speaking of Hitchcock, I'm sure it's no coincidence that Richard Franklin ended up as director of PSYCHO II.

I noticed a lot of comparisons to Brian De Palma's CARRIE going into PATRICK; understandable because of telekinesis being incorporated into the story, but that's pretty much where the similarities end as far as I can tell. Personally, I think a more interesting comparison would be to THE EXORCIST. The antagonists of both films are bed-ridden. Both antagonists have people who are trying to help them. The protagonists of both films eventually bring in some sort of specialist to assess the situation and are greeted with hostility for their troubles. Also, both antagonists release bodily fluids onto unsuspecting standers-by, although one is obviously a lot more extreme than the other.

I agree with anyone who finds PATRICK to be slow, but there's a difference between slow and boring, and I don't particularly find this film to be the latter. The plot moves along at a good pace for the most part, and it's about as interesting as a movie about a guy laying in bed can possibly be. There's a great "Oh, shit" reveal well before the film's conclusion that should, in theory, grab your attention. Aside from the its cinematic strengths, I really dig the film's ambiguity - the paranormal element, Patrick's back-story, so on and so forth. The actor who played Patrick, Robert Thompson, began his career with this film and didn't really do much afterwards; he had a small role in the Aussie vampire movie THIRST and also appeared in Richard Franklin's ROAD GAMES before doing a couple of television projects and apparently moving on to other things. Stage, maybe? In any case, PATRICK was generally well-regarded from what I can gather, and its legacy is covered in Mark Hartley's extensive NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD documentary. Unfortunately the documentary spoils one of the film's frightening pay-offs, but oh well.

Drink every time someone says "Matron" or "Jacquard". You're welcome.

Score: 7

Next Door (2005)

2011-12-30T23:43:00.000-08:00

Directed by Pål Sletaune. Starring Kristoffer Joner ("John"), Cecilie Mosli ("Anne"), Julia Schacht ("Kim"), and Anna Bache-Wiig ("Ingrid"). Not Rated.

Source: Region 1 DVD (TLA Releasing)
Running time: 01:15:46
Country: Norway, Denmark, Sweden

This movie doesn't quite fit the theme I'm doing this month since the lead character has a penis (although there's no visual proof of this), but women do play an important part in the film, and it's also a woman who steals the show in this Nordic psychological horror movie.

John is a single guy who lives alone in an apartment. He just got out of a relationship with Ingrid, who, at the beginning of the film, stops by to collect the last of her things. One thing I will say about the plot without spoiling anything is that the circumstances surrounding their break-up are vague and slowly revealed as the movie rolls along. John later finds himself in an elevator with a woman named Anne, who's apparently his next door neighbor despite him never having seen her before. During their time in the elevator he notices strange things about her, like the fact that her torn undergarments are peaking out just below her skirt. As they make their way to their respective apartments, Anne introduces herself and asks John if he wouldn't mind coming into her place and do her a "favor". Turns out she needs a large piece of furniture moved (a massive cabinet blocking a door to be exact), and while he's there he sees a younger woman who's eventually revealed to be Anne's sister, Kim.

Anne and Kim aren't necessarily acting strange, but they're definitely wearing facial expressions and making unspoken gestures towards each other as if they were up to something that John was completely oblivious to. It's obvious that John is uncomfortable because of the awkward small-talk that ensues, especially when Anne and Kim bring up personal information regarding John's relationship that only he and Ingrid would know. The brief visit ends without incident, but it's not the last time that John will encounter the twisted sisters.

Do you ever notice that once you do certain people favors, they will take advantage of it and keep asking you for favors? Because of the nature of my job, this is something that unfortunately comes with the territory, which is why I try to keep my relationships at work strictly professional. Once you cross the "friend" line with certain co-workers, they expect you to bend the rules for them and compromise what little professional integrity you have, and when you say "no" they take it personal. Not that my personal story has anything to do with the movie, but the point is that I can relate to John's situation once Anne, sooner than later, asks him to once again go out of his way to do another favor. He initially declines because of how uncomfortable the sisters made him feel, but she eventually convinces him once she brings up her younger sister being assaulted and that she needs someone to watch over her while Anne runs out to the pharmacy. John agrees, and the film takes a dark and really bizarre turn once he finds himself alone with Kim, even by typical horror movie standards.

The only way that I could possibly ruin this movie for anyone who hasn't seen it would be to talk about the film's twist ending, but one of the great things about NEXT DOOR is that there are constant little reveals throughout the film as it builds to its grim conclusion. There are certain character traits about Kim (which, to be fair, are revealed very early on) that establish her as someone who has some serious issues, but that's all I'll say about that.

One thing I've noticed about the Scandinavian films I've seen is that the filmmakers involved really know how to shoot movies, and it's almost like you can tell the difference between their cinema and the cinema of other countries just based on the visuals, aesthetic, and how the camera moves. NEXT DOOR in particular has some wonderful cold and gloomy cinematography that impressed me right away, and it brought to mind the amazing Danish film TERRIBLY HAPPY, which was brought to my attention during the Reader's Choice theme I did a few months ago. Visually, NEXT DOOR is impressive; the off-kilter camera movements lend themselves to the unstable narrative, and the overall look of the film evokes a certain atmosphere without trying too hard. Another impressive aspect of the film's aesthetic is the look of Anne and Kim's apartment; it's shockingly spacious and almost maze-like.

The acting is pretty good all around, although I wasn't very fond of the lead actor for reasons that I can't explain. Maybe it has something to do with his look or the type of character he plays, but he doesn't exactly scream "sympathy" right away once the film places the character of John in some very odd situations. In particular, Julia Schact as Kim as quite amazing. She doesn't exactly turn in an award-worthy performance or anything, but there's something very magnetic about her and I found it to be a case of perfect casting. Schact's character is all over the place in terms of what type of person she is and what her motives are, and Schacht really drives that point home with a certain amount of subtlety and restraint that I admire. Physically, she bears a striking resemblance to Anna Paquin. Michael Nyqvist from the original GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO and, more recently, MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - GHOST PROTOCOL turns up in the film, but I'll refrain from elaborating on his role in the story.

Though it does lose some steam towards the end of its 75-minute runtime because of certain reveals that are made a little too early in my opinion, NEXT DOOR is a great, well-paced psychological horror film with somewhat of a Lynchian influence. The general ambiguity and vagueness of the plot may not appeal to most people (admittedly, even by the end of the film there were certain things that didn't seem to make sense in retrospect), but I personally find it to be a noteworthy piece of horror cinema from the 00's.

Score: 7.5

Angel of Death (2009)

2011-12-27T22:23:00.000-08:00

Directed by Paul Etheredge. Starring Zoe Bell ("Eve"), Jake Abel ("Cameron Downes"), Brian Poth ("Graham"), and Vail Bloom ("Regina Downes"). Rated R.

Source: Region 1 DVD (Sony)
Running time: 01:17:39
Country: USA

If you're gonna get someone to play a bad-ass bitch in a movie, who better than legit tough-gal and stuntwoman Zoe Bell, whose career highlights include doubling for Uma Thurman in KILL BILL and starring in Quentin Tarantino's DEATH PROOF. Here, Bell plays an assassin named Eve, who survives a gruesome mishap while on the job and is deemed a liability by her employers because of it. As a result, her employers turn on her and conspire to kill her so that she doesn't fuck up again and draw attention to their criminal organization; Eve basically gets wind of this and targets them before they get to her. Throw in a comic book style aesthetic (appropriate, seeing as the film is written by renowned comic writer Ed Brubaker), and that's pretty much ANGEL OF DEATH in a nutshell.

There's an interesting twist to the story in that Eve suffers the side effects from her horrific accident that come into play as the movie goes along. As far as her accident, she gets stabbed through the top of the head; not only does she obviously (and miraculously) survive this, but she's conscious as her jittery doctor (Doug Jones) removes it from her skull. When the accident occurs, she unconsciously shoots an innocent bystander in the face and is subsequently haunted by the ghost of her victim as the movie progresses. Aside from the haunting, Eve suffers from constant disorientation and occasional seizures. It's a pretty interesting idea and one of the many indicators that ANGEL OF DEATH indeed takes place in a pulpy fantasy world.

As for Zoe Bell, she's the best thing about the movie in my opinion, and it's good to know that the filmmakers had enough common sense to exploit Zoe's ability to perform stunts and essentially get the shit kicked out of her. On the other hand, Eve is such a tough character that it never feels like she's in any real danger throughout the film. As you watch it, you know it's only a matter of time before she gets her hands on the dudes who wanna kill her and snap their necks, so throughout the film you're basically just waiting for her to get retribution. Seeing as the film is less than 80-minutes long, you'd think it would breeze by, but it wasn't the case at all; not for me anyway.

ANGEL OF DEATH lacks the snappy dialogue that it sorely needs. You have these slightly over the top characters in the film, although not to the point where they're caricatures, but yet they're played straight by the actors if that makes any sense. The thing is, it's not their fault, because they're just working with what they got, and, quite frankly, had any of the actors in the film went the scenery-chewing route, it would have been more obnoxious than anything. Ed Brubaker may be a great comic book writer, but his style of writing doesn't really translate well on film. Other than that, ANGEL OF DEATH is just boring and paced horribly. No disrespect to anyone in the film, but Zoe Bell is just leaps and bounds better than the rest of the cast; not so much because of her acting, but because of her presence and charisma. Even Doug Jones, who I don't particularly care to watch in a film if he's not under tons of make-up, is quite good in this as well. Jones seemed to be one of the few who actually "got it" and understood what sort of tone the film needed.

If you're a really huge Zoe Bell fan, if you have a tolerance for the trend of neo-Exploitation movies, or if you're a fan of Ed Brubaker's work, I suppose ANGEL OF DEATH is worth checking out. Otherwise, don't bother, but even if you end up hating it, it will only be seventy-something minutes of your life that you just wasted as opposed to, I dunno, ninety. Also, based on other reviews that I've checked out (which is something I don't normally do), I seem to be in the minority with my thoughts on this film.

Score: 5

The Company of Wolves (1984)

2011-12-26T22:44:00.001-08:00

Directed by Neil Jordan. Starring Angela Lansbury ("Granny"), Sarah Patterson ("Rosaleen"), David Warner ("Father"), and Graham Crowden ("Old Priest"). Rated R.

Source: Region 1 DVD (Hen's Tooth)
Running time: 01:31:12
Country: UK

It somehow eluded me throughout the 80's and 90's, and it wasn't until a couple of years ago when researching dark fairytale movie adaptations that I came across Neil Jordan and Angela Carter's sexual, nightmarish take on the Little Red Riding Hood folk tale, THE COMPANY OF WOLVES, which features a then 12 year-old British actress by the name of Sarah Patterson in certain scenes that would likely be considered taboo by today's standards.

COMPANY OF WOLVES is written by Angela Carter, who took elements from a number of short stories that she wrote and incorporated them into her screenplay. The film literally plays out like a fever dream, as it opens with a teenager named Alice attempting to wake up her sister, Rosaleen (Patterson), who locked herself in her room prior to falling into a deep sleep. We then apparently go inside of Rosaleen's head, and what follows is a surreal cautionary tale, full of sexual connotations, under the guise of a werewolf movie.

Set in a small, isolated village in the middle of a dreary forest that would make even the most misanthropic of Black Metal musicians feel right at home, THE COMPANY OF WOLVES focuses on young Rosaleen as she experiences a sexual awakening of sorts, while her Granny constantly reminds her of the dangers that lurk in the woods should she "stray from the path" and disobey a set of rules presented to her. It's established early on that a vicious wolf lurks in the woods - the wolf being symbolic of a sexual predator, which is a bit redundant to mention when you consider the source material and werewolf folklore. Rosaleen has obviously reached the point of transitioning from a girl to a young woman, and so her new-found curiosity in the male sex leads her to stray from the path, thus making way for an encounter with a much older stranger who harbors a dangerous secret.

It should be noted that the "monsters" in the film are actual wolves and not the traditinal werewolf or wolf-man, although the wolves do manifest through a transformation process involving their hosts (grown men). But, for the sake of keeping it simple, I'll just refer to them as werewolves. Speaking of which, this movie features some of the most painful-looking werewolf transformation scenes I've ever witnessed in a horror movie; the most notable example being Stephen Rea's transformation scene, in which his skin is completely ripped from his body to reveal the raw muscle, at which point a snout suddenly emerges from his face and the metamorphosis begins. Though cheesy-looking in terms of special effects, the transformation scenes are quite unsettling.

"What ever happened to Sarah Patterson?" is the question I ask myself every time I watch this movie (only seen it twice now, but still). Apparently she lost interest in acting after starring in this particular film (her debut) and went into her next project (Cannon's SNOW WHITE) knowing that it would be her last. She resurfaced over a decade later in a pair of films, seemingly as a favor to filmmaker and friend Lisa Gornick, before vanishing from the acting scene once again. Patterson showed promise and it's a shame that she didn't continue acting, but knowing that her career was voluntarily brief adds a certain amount of cult credentials to THE COMPANY OF WOLVES.

THE COMPANY OF WOLVES is remarkable for its weirdness and ambiguity, and it wouldn't be fair to simply label it as just a horror movie. It actually resembles the surrealist Czech film VALERIE AND HER WEEK OF WONDERS in many ways. Both lead actresses were about the same age, and both were sexualized to a certain extent in their respective films (more so in the case of VALERIE, in which 13 year-old Jaroslava Schallerová appeared nude and was even groped by an older man in one scene). Also, both have a dreamlike atmosphere about them and are littered with sexual symbolism and bizarre imagery. Overall, this is an extraordinary little film and, in my opinion, a cinematic dark fairytale of the highest order. For tons of interesting pieces of trivia on the film, go here.

Score: 8

Born Innocent (1974)

2011-12-26T00:05:00.000-08:00

Directed by Donald Wrye. Starring Linda Blair ("Chris Parker"), Joanna Miles ("Counselor Barbara Clark"), Allyn Ann McLerie ("Emma Lasko"), and Mary Murphy ("Miss Murphy"). Not Rated.

Source: Region 1 DVD (VCI)
Running time: 01:38:32
Country: USA

14 year-old Chris comes from an old-fashioned family, in that she has a subservient mother who stays home and cooks, and a strict father who won't hesitate to smack a bitch - such is the case when Chris is apparently on the other end of a beating, which causes her to run away from home and end up in an all-female juvenile detention center, where she's psychologically and verbally abused by other girls and even raped in a communal shower by the ringleader of a female gang. It's an unpleasant and shocking experience for Chris to say the least, but when she's eventually released and attempts to make her dysfunctional family life work, she finds that perhaps being in a home for troubled teens isn't so bad after all.

Despite growing up in the 80's and experiencing some of them first-hand, my mind never ceases to be blown when I watch older made-for-televison movies while keeping in mind that they aired on regular network television. BORN INNOCENT originally aired on NBC in September of 1974, and it was the first film that Linda Blair had starred in since her iconic role as the demonically-possessed Regan in THE EXORCIST. BORN INNOCENT proved to be very controversial after its debut on network television, and understandably so; the film as a whole focuses on an underage girl being abused in more ways than one and it included the aforementioned rape scene, which, even by today's standards, is a bit intense and would probably be censored due to the fact that the actress involved (Blair) is a minor and appears nude. Regardless of the controversy, its ratings were impressive, but it didn't stop the network from quickly pulling the rape scene.

There's not much to say as far as reviewing the film. There isn't much of a plot, and as the movie progresses, signs of Chris's former self slowly fade away as she gradually blends in with her surroundings (ie. the juvenile detention center and its inhabitants), seemingly giving up all hope of a bright future and coming to terms with her status as a misfit from a broken home. Regardless of the infamous rape scene, BORN INNOCENT isn't as exploitative as you'd think. The film is more or less a reflection of what happens to a young girl when her parents and, to a certain extent, society have failed her.

Even though it's a downer and not a fun movie to watch by any means, I still consider it to be quite the treasure, just for the simple fact that it's one of those movies that I can't believe even exists, or at the very least hasn't disappeared into obscurity (which was actually the case for three decades until VCI somehow obtained a print of it and released it on DVD with the rape scene still intact).

Score: 6.5

Tamara (2005)

2011-12-25T20:31:00.001-08:00

Directed by Jeremy Haft. Starring Jenna Dewan ("Tamara Riley"), Matthew Marsden ("Bill Natolly"), Chad Faust ("Jesse"), and Claudette Mink ("Alison Natolly"). Rated R.

Source: Region 1 DVD (Lionsgate)
Running time: 01:37:55
Country: USA, Canada

If you're a bully in high school, aside from growing the fuck up, you might wanna make sure the person you're picking on isn't dabbling in the black arts. Unfortunately for the obnoxious jocks in this film, the eponymous Tamara is a practitioner of black magic and full of the pent-up sexual frustration and teen angst that comes with the territory of being at the very bottom of the social pecking order. When an embarrassing prank turns fatal, Tamara somehow comes back from the dead and unleashes a supernatural smackdown on those involved, all while using her new-found confidence to seduce her married teacher, whom she fantasized about prior to her untimely death.

If you go into TAMARA expecting a supernatural high-school horror movie in the vein of CARRIE and the like, that's essentially what you're going to get, but it has enough entertaining moments and creative set-pieces to stand on its own. It's not to say that TAMARA isn't an incredibly cliched film; we get the convention where shit goes wrong for the pranksters and the ensuing moments moments where they stand around in a state of shock and vow to take their dark secret to their graves, as well as slow-motion shots of the "bad girl" walking through the hallways of her school to the sounds of annoying pop music. But, despite its flaws and unoriginality, TAMARA is surprisingly enjoyable.

A couple of noteworthy things that I found interesting about the film are the inclusion of two Final Girls and the methods of which Tamara goes about getting her revenge. Amidst the group of pranksters is the one sympathetic girl who's obviously going to be built up as the Final Girl. However, the incorporation of the aforementioned married teacher's wife into the plot results in a second Final Girl, which is something you don't normally see in horror films. Not only does the double threat of Final Girls work, but so does the extra plot thread involving Tamara and her desire to hook up with her teacher. As far as Tamara's reign of supernatural terror, her methods of payback, which include hypnosis, seduction, and turning the group of pranksters on each other to a certain extent, are extremely cruel and quite entertaining.

The highlight of the film, for me, is actress Jenna Dewan, who plays Tamara. She does a great job throughout and is believable while portraying both sides of her character: the ugly-duckling outcast and the sexy supernatural vixen. While TAMARA isn't bad, it's still one of those "why bother" kinda movies. If you've gone this long without seeing it, you're not missing much, but at the same time you won't be completely disappointed if you do come across it somehow.

Score: 6.5

Julia's Eyes (2010)

2011-12-23T22:26:00.000-08:00

Directed by Guillem Morales. Starring Belén Rueda ("Julia", "Sara"), Lluís Homar ("Isaac"), Pablo Derqui ("Ángel"), and Francesc Orella ("Inspector Dimas"). Not Rated.

Source: Region 1 DVD (IFC)
Running time: 01:57:18
Country: Spain

I don't know about you, but the name "Guillermo del Toro" being attached to a project doesn't really hold a lot of weight with me, and JULIA'S EYES (one of my most highly anticipated horror releases this year) unfortunately doesn't do anything to change that. JULIA'S EYES follows the eponymous Julia as she attempts to make sense of the mysterious circumstances surrounding death of her twin sister who was found hanging in her home. There's a twist in that the two sisters were born with a disease that causes gradual blindness. While Julia's sister, Sara, had already been stricken the disease and was totally blind at the time of her death, Julia begins losing her sight immediately following the death of Sara, which comes into play as she struggles to simultaneously adapt to her lack of sight and solve the mystery of Sara's death, which she believes wasn't a suicide.

It's suggested in the opening sequence of the film that not only was someone else in Sara's home at the time of her death, but that this person seemingly drove her to commit suicide. I won't reveal whether or not this other person was a ghost, hallucination, or an actual being, but it wouldn't be a spoiler to say that this "invisible man" who seems to only dwell in the shadows turns up as the film draws closer to its conclusion.

To the film's credit, the manner in which Julia's blindness is exploited throughout the film is both logical and quite brilliant, but that's all I'll say about that; not that there any huge surprises in the film as it relates to Julia's blindness or anything, but director Guillem Morales does an exceptional job of cinematically injecting a sense of paranoia and tension to the proceedings by using certain camera techniques that allow the viewer to relate to Julia's "handicap" as much as possible without actually showing you a black screen for a portion of the film's running time. Like Julia, the viewer also becomes blind to certain things as the film goes on, in terms of both visuals and narrative.

Aside from Belén Rueda (THE ORPHANAGE) doing a decent enough job in dual roles as Julia and Sara, JULIA'S EYES is incredibly well-done from a cinematic standpoint. The cinematography and music work hand in hand to create tension, atmosphere, frenzy, and panic when needed. A certain set-piece towards the end of the film is, in a good way, very De Palma-esque and easily the film's standout sequence.

My main issue with JULIA'S EYES is the writing. I also have issues with the character of Julia and how the film essentially portrays blind people as freaks, but I don't really need to get into that. Without revealing too much about the writing, I'll just say that there are a lot of minor characters who come into the picture throughout the film, all of whom are downright fucking silly and blatantly speak in exposition as a means of moving the story along. Guillermo del Toro had nothing to do with the film's writing other than acting as an adviser of sorts, but it's strange that it suffers from the same thing that bothers me about del Toro's own productions: great visuals, weak script. Regardless of JULIA'S EYES not living up to my hopes, it's still a solid thriller for the most part, and one that I recommend; the only thing keeping me from giving a somewhat high recommendation (despite my issues with the writing) is the unwarranted lengthy running time.

Score: 7

Interview with Christine Makepeace of Paracinema Magazine

2011-12-21T18:31:00.000-08:00

"Born from a conversation about film magazines in a small Queens, NY apartment in the summer of 2007. Paracinema Magazine evolved from a discussion into a tangible product with the printing of our first issue. Armed with only a modest website and a myspace page we took to the internet to sell our creation. Surprisingly, our first issue was received far better than we could have ever anticipated. We haven’t looked back since. Each issue of Paracinema is a true work of passion, not only by its publishers but by each contributor and is meant to be appreciated by readers who possess that same type of passion."

Paracinema is a quarterly genre film magazine ran by two New Yorkers who I've been lucky enough to get acquainted with through mutual friends in the film-loving community, Christine Makepeace and Dylan Santurri. Below is an interview I conducted with one-half of the Paracinema team, Christine, and if you'd like to know more about Paracinema, you can check out their their website, as well as an interview that Christine did with The Blood Sprayer that deals more with the genesis and day-to-day operations of Paracinema.

Death Rattle: When and how did the idea for Paracinema come about?
Christine: Well, I had been doing some freelance work and was beginning to become a bit disillusioned. It seemed like no one was looking for the type of content I enjoyed writing (and reading). Co-editor Dylan and I had been looking for a project to do together. So we jumped in feet first and never looked back.

Death Rattle: What's been the most rewarding thing about running a magazine? And, on the other hand, what's the most frustrating thing about it?
Christine: I’d say meeting people has to be the most rewarding part. We work with some of the most talented, remarkable people. And, since it’s OUR thing, we don’t have to deal with anyone who isn’t a joyous ball of sunshine!
On the flip side, a lot of things are frustrating. Like with anything, when you devote a huge chunk of your time, you become almost obsessed. That obsession and preoccupation sometimes leads to taking things personally/too seriously. So really, most frustration is self inflicted. It’s totally worth it though.

Death Rattle: As a film fan, what is your genre of choice and what are some of your favorite films?
Christine: I think horror will always be my completely biased favorite. Many of us “genre” fans got our feet wet with slashers and zombie flicks. It’s a gateway genre!
I’m also a Hitchcock freak; so anything Hitchcock. Also, the Muppets. At the risk of just listing movies… I’ll just list some movies I find infinitely re-watchable: Phantom of the Paradise, Shaun of the Dead, Jennifer’s Body, Poltergeist, The Thing (so much horror).

Death Rattle: Why do you choose to feature reviews on the website and not in the magazine?
Christine: That’s an amazing question. There are a few reasons. We wanted the magazine to stand apart. We knew we could never keep up with the monthlys (or bi-monthlys) in regards to “new” reviews and exclusives. We also wanted the magazine to be timeless. You should be able to pick it up and not have it feel dated. So reviews were never really an option.
The site is an extension of the printed magazine, but the rapid delivery system that is the internet allows us to feature reviews in a timely manner. We still prefer some variety, and that’s why you’ll find opinion pieces and essays alongside the straight up reviews.

Death Rattle: Speaking of which, what does maintaining the site entail? Do you post articles and reviews as your writers send them in, do you assign certain topics to people, or do your writers have a certain amount of freedom to post articles as they see fit?
Christine: We want everyone to have freedom. Ideally, I want folks focusing on their passions. I think that makes for the best end product. Online contributors write as often as they’d like and we just post them as we need them.

Death Rattle: Any plans to either go digital or put out issues on a monthly basis?
Christine: If we could make this a full time venture, I’d love to be monthly. Who knows?
Digital is slippery slope. We would love to be available on iPads and tablets, but selling a pdf of an issue is just not something we’re in to. More time needs to be spent developing something that would look good and researching the best way to get it out there.
As devoted as we are to print, we are also realistic. People want other options.

Death Rattle: A lot of Paracinema's contributors are from the blogging community; are you open to more writers coming on board, and if so, what do they need to do to make it happen?
Christine: I love new writers! I mean, I adore the folks that have been with us for 6 issues too. New blood is great though. We are very open to working with people and I hate to hear of anyone being intimidated; there’s no need to be.
I suggest grabbing a copy of the mag to get a feel for it and maybe taking a look at the site. The submission guidelines can be found there too.

Death Rattle: Do you have any past issues or articles that you consider favorites, or perhaps consider to be the best representations of what Paracinema is all about?
Christine: The last 2 issues, 13 and 14, are what we’ve always wanted the magazine to be. I think they are both perfectly representative of what we’re about.
I’m quite partial to articles that explore the way women are portrayed in film. In issue 13 the cover story (by Ashley Avard) deals with pregnancy in horror films. Issue 5 had an amazing piece by James Gracey dealing with female sexuality in Teeth and Ginger Snaps.

Death Rattle: Certain magazines and websites have spin-off podcasts as a means of promotion and reaching out to new audiences; is a Paracinema podcast something you've considered?
Christine: It is! We’ve thought a lot about it. It’s something we’d want to pour a ton of energy into and it comes down to time. And quality. We would want it to sound amazing and be packed full of awesome content. It still may happen. I personally want it to happen.

Death Rattle: If someone told you they wanted to follow in your footsteps, professionally-speaking, what's the biggest piece of advice you'd give them?
Christine: Do it because you love it.

Links:
Paracinema.net
Paracinema on Facebook
Christine's interview on The Toxic Graveyard Podcast
Christine's interview with The Blood Sprayer
Subscribe to Paracinema Magazine

I Know Who Killed Me (2007)

2011-12-20T21:36:00.000-08:00

Directed by Chris Sivertson. Starring Lindsay Lohan ("Aubrey Fleming", "Dakota Moss"), Julia Ormond ("Susan Fleming"), Neal McDonough ("Daniel Fleming"), and Garcelle Beauvais ("Agent Julie Bascome"). Rated R.

Source: Region 1 DVD (Sony Pictures)
Running time: 01:46:16
Country: USA

"Fingers! Leg! Hand! Gone!"

Aubrey Fleming is a high-school student and aspiring writer who's suddenly abducted and tortured one night by the same person who apparently killed another teenage girl just a few days earlier. Aubrey survives the ordeal and is found laying in a ditch with one of her legs and arms missing, only to persistently claim to be someone else entirely when she awakens in the hospital. "Dakota Moss", as she refers to herself, is the complete opposite of the ordinary Audrey: promiscuous, ill-mannered, and she strips for a living. Stupid cops and a clueless psychiatrist come into the picture and an investigation ensues, but they prove to be mostly irrelevent to the story, as does the serial killer who seems to be nothing more than a catalyst for the film's psychological elements - namely the theme of duality. Dakota, with her bionic hand and prosthetic leg (which she has to plug into a wall!), spends the remainder of the film searching for the truth.

There are a few theories that can be applied to the relationship between Aubrey and Dakota. Perhaps a traumatic experience brought to surface a split personality that Aubrey's been harboring, and it's also possible that they could be twins who were separated at birth (which is addressed in the film, but would also suggest that Dakota is an underage stripper). Or maybe - I dunno - the whole thing is just a figment of Aubrey's imagination, her being a storyteller and all. Just sayin'. If the latter were in fact the case, it would explain how much of a fucking mess the story is, because it's evident during certain scenes in the film that Aubrey's writing could use some improvement.

I KNOW WHO KILLED ME has gained a bit of notoriety since its release for being laughably bad. I already knew this going into it, which would suggest that I'm purposely reviewing it only to bash it, but it's not the case. In fact, I'm here to defend this film. OK, well, not really, but I do have a slight issue with people saying that this film doesn't have anything redeemable about it. Don't get me wrong, I certainly understand why people would exaggerate and spew venom at the film (I'm pretty sure it was the case with me once upon a time), but I don't think of it as a complete and utter failure. From a storytelling and acting perspective, yes, it's horrendous, but the technical aspects of the film are decent.

I wouldn't go so far as to say that the film is "shot well", but I like some of its visual aspects. The sharp blue and red color scheme in particular is visually pleasing, and it works as being a stylish indication of the film's running theme of "opposites". It's apparent, though, that the people who made the film (I don't know whether to blame the director or cinematographer) were trying to create a Lynchian atmosphere with the visuals, flourishes, and mood, but it failed in that respect. The end result is a whole lot of nightmarish visuals on top of a silly film.

That all sounds really pretentious, but don't worry: that's about where I draw the line with praising I KNOW WHO KILLED ME. The casting of Lindsay Lohan in the lead role obviously had nothing to do with her acting and was more or less an attempt to cash in on her stardom at the time, or perhaps Lindsay pursued the film because it was dark compared to what people were accustomed to seeing her in. I don't know and I don't care. All I know is that she's one of the reasons that the film is as bad as it is, and she's not given much to work with in terms of the script either. At one point, Dakota is visited by an otherworldy figure who proceeds to tell her: "People get cut up. That's life." Really? Is that the best they could come up with? "People get cut up"? Speaking of which, the word "cut" comes up a lot. This may have to do with the the theme of people being split apart, but it just comes across as rather dumb. Apparently, in the universe that this film exists in, to be murdered or tortured is to be "cut". Whatever.

Another hilarious moment comes when, during a high school football game, an announcer comes over the PA system to address the crowd and refer to the victim who preceded Aubrey, who had yet to be abducted by that point: "You know Jennifer Toland's body was found", at which point the announcer asked for a moment of silence before getting the crowd riled up once again for the football game. Sorry, but is that how you remind a crowd of high-school students that one of their own has tragically died? "You know Jennifer Toland's body was found." Get the fuck outta here. Another great line is when Dakota says "Hospitals are for rich people." Uh, no. Hospitals are for people with medical insurance. If paying a monthly fee to have medical services provided to you is "rich", then you, ma'am, are a fucking idiot.

Overall, I KNOW WHO KILLED ME is a stylish but incoherent mess with occasional moments of gruesome body-horror and scenes of Lindsay Lohan pole-dancing shoe-horned into the film. It's like really bad, drunken poetry translated into a movie. The acting is terrible, not just from Lindsay but from pretty much everyone (Julia Ormond in particular is horrible), and what little there is of a plot builds to an anti-climactic conclusion. But, that's totally fine, because I KNOW WHO KILLED ME is truly a sight to behold. A cinematic trainwreck with unintentional hilarity and inherently high replay value if viewed in the right setting (ie. with friends or drunk - or both).

Score: 6

Snapshot (1979)

2011-12-18T19:08:00.000-08:00

Directed by Simon Wincer. Starring Sigrid Thornton ("Angela"), Chantal Contouri ("Madeline"), Robert Bruning ("Elmer"), and Hugh Keays-Byrne ("Linsey"). Rated R.

Source
Running time: 01:40:17
Country: Australia

"All I got is your photograph; I wanna touch you." - Def Leppard

SNAPSHOT follows a young woman named Angela, who's rescued from her dead-end job as a hairstylist and introduced to the world of modeling by a friend of hers, Madeline. Angela is hooked up with an eccentric photographer (Hugh Keays-Byrne), and it isn't long before she's posing topless on a beach for a cologne advertisement. Once her accidental modeling career takes off, Angela gets quite a bit of attention from the men in her life, be it sleazy industry types or a clingy ex-boyfriend who stalks her and drives around in an ice cream truck; this seems to bother Madeline, which is strange since she's the one who got Angela into modeling in the first place. Things take a scary turn for Angela when she finds herself being harassed by an unknown person who breaks into her house on more than one occasion, even going so far is to leave a severed pig's head in her bed. The harassment continues and paranoia ensues as SNAPSHOT builds to the inevitable reveal of Angela's unstable admirer.

This review is part of my ongoing quest to conquer the NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD documentary by covering all 50-something films that were mentioned in it; I highly doubt that will happen since a few of these movies are really hard to come by, but I'd like to give it a shot nonetheless. Speaking of which, NQH director Mark Hartley did an amazing job of presenting clips of these obscure Australian movies - some of which are still in VHS limbo - in a pristine, cleaned-up quality. Unfortunately, a lot of the films from the documentary that were lucky enough to get a digital upgrade only exist in poor-quality prints and were never given the proper care that they arguably deserve.

Screenshot from the Elite Entertainment release

Screenshot from Not Quite Hollywood

Anyway, about the movie. SNAPSHOT plays out like a cautionary tale of sorts; Angela, a vulnerable and socially-awkward young woman compromises her security for the opportunity to make quick cash, only for her new lifestyle to backfire on her. It's not a very exciting film, it's a tad long, and as a thriller it's pretty weak and somewhat predictable, but there's a nice little swerve at the end that I won't get into detail about for obvious reasons. Despite all of that, SNAPSHOT is one of those movies that I end up liking a lot but couldn't tell you why. Angela is an easy character for me to invest in because of actress Sigrid Thornton's naturally likable presence, and partly because of the fact that she appears in the film naked and dripping wet. In general, I quite enjoyed most of the cast. Chantal Contouri, who also starred in the Aussie vampire film THIRST, is great in this, as is legendary genre-film actor Hugh Keays-Byrne (MAD MAX). Other than that, I don't have much to say about this movie. Something about it just worked for me, but I wouldn't recommend that anyone go out of their way to see it.

Score: 6.5

Hello! This is the Doomed Show's 5 Rad and Like Totally Boss 80s Horror Chicks

2011-12-13T19:01:00.000-08:00

Turns out both myself and Richard from Doomed Moviethon and Cinema Somnambulist are doing themes this month, with me doing Ladies' Month and Richard celebrating his birth year in film by covering movies from 1976, so we decided to do a little cross promotion. If you head over to Cinema Somnambulist RIGHT FUCKING NOW, you'll be able to see my top six list of genre films from my birth year, 1981. And instead of just asking Richard to do a post for The Death Rattle, his co-host of the awesome Hello! This is the Doomed Show podcast, Brad, decided to join in on the fun. The two of them put together a list of their five favorite 80's horror chicks. Without any further ado, enjoy the Double Duder action, and please check out their entertaining podcast. Click here to subscribe to the Doomed Show on iTunes.

Richard: Aaron graciously asked Brad and me to come up with a list of something ladylike for a guest post during Ladies’ Month at The Death Rattle. We thought of final girls, villainesses, and quirky unsung chicks. Then we decided to do a list that was a combination of all three.

Robin Stille

Brad: Tall, leggy, and gorgeous. These are three words that I use to describe myself – oh and Robin Stille. Robin is literally the (excruciatingly non-naked) final girl next door in The Slumber Party Massacre. Sadly, she only appeared in two other genre films, Vampire Knights and Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, before rumored alcoholism and difficulty finding film roles caused her to take her own life at the tender age of 35.

Richard: It kills me that Stille didn't get more work and left us so young but she did leave me wanting more! She practically steals the film from her scream queen buds in Sorority Babes (another conspicuously non-nude role).

Lisa Pelikan

Richard: As a kid, I fell in love with the odd Lisa Pelikan when I caught Jennifer (1978) on late night TV in the 80s. However, I didn’t truly become a man (STOP SNICKERING!) until I beheld her in Ghoulies, one of the goofiest horror films of the 80s. This quirky redhead stole my heart once again as Rebecca, the hot girlfriend of Jonathan, the d-bag who summons all the mini-monsters. Lisa’s character is well written, sexy, and lovable, damn it! Pelikan continues to act in television but has yet to return to horror.

Heidi Kozak

Richard: Sally Burns is an amazing character in the incredibly fucked up and downright zany sequel that nobody wanted: Slumber Party Massacre II. Not only is she a totally badical drummer in a righteous all-girl band, she is also concerned with her skin. VERY CONCERNED. In a nightmarish and vomit-inducing sequence, Sally’s pore paranoia manifests itself into a giant pulsing pustule that erupts and splashes her friend Courtney. It is this moment that makes me tip my hat to the actress playing Sally: Heidi Kozak. Miss Kozak also played Sandra, one of Jason’s victims in Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood. It is in that film we get to see her pimple free bum and just about everything else. Unfortunately, Heidi’s last horror role is in the ultra-freaky Society (1989) where she plays Shauna, an over-the-top preppy cheerleader beyatch.

Pamela Springsteen

Richard: I knew absolutely nothing about the Sleepaway Camp sequels when I picked up the Sleepaway Camp Survival Kit. I sure as hell did not expect parts 2 and 3 to have such an amazing villainess. In the first two sequels, Pamela Springsteen plays Angela (that’s right, the man-girl of the first film all grown up), a psychotic camp counselor obsessed with summertime fun. She dispatches campers in all kinds of inventive ways while keeping her awesome can-do attitude throughout. Springsteen retired from the horror business and acting altogether in order to pursue a career in still photography. And seriously, is there anything more 80s than being Bruce Springsteen’s little sister?

Amy Steel

Brad: I can't not pick Steel just because I know everyone else will pick her for their lists. Amy Steel abides. My favorite final girl in my favorite Friday The 13th film sadly only made one more horror appearance in 1986's April Fool’s Day. I love her, you love her, my grandmother loves her. Where did you go, Amy?

Richard: Very good choice, sir. Steel is a great final girl, for sure. I am definitely an Amy Steel admirer and for some reason, I dig April Fool’s Day more than Friday the 13th Part 2. It could just be that I need a break from the world of F13 for a little while.

Playing House (2010)

2011-12-09T23:00:00.000-08:00

Directed by Tom Vaughan. Starring Craig Welzbacher ("Mitch McKenzie"), Sarah Prikryl ("Jen McKenzie"), Mayra Leal ("Blair"), and Matt Lusk ("Danny"). Rated R.

Source: Region 1 DVD (Maya Releasing)
Running time: 01:24:08
Country: USA

Mitch and Jen are a couple who seemingly have it all. They're both accomplished in their respective fields, and judging by the look of their brand new house I think it's safe to assume that they make a lot of money. Mitch's friend Danny is sort of a third wheel who moves in with them and rents an extra bedroom, partly due to the fact that Mitch was a little in over his head when he bought the house and could use some help paying the mortgage. To keep Danny out of their hair, Jen suggests he look into online dating, and it's not long at all before he brings home a tan-skinned, brunette goddess by the name of Blair, who's obviously way out of his league in the looks department. Without giving away too much, let's just say that Blair's presence shakes up the relationship of the three central characters dramatically, but when you consider the fact that the DVD cover is a picture of a woman holding a large kitchen knife behind her back, it's kinda obvious as to what direction the movie goes.

PLAYING HOUSE is a throwback to those "uninvited guest" movies that seemed to thrive in the 90's more so than any other decade, so if you've seen films like THE HAND THAT ROCKS THE CRADLE, FEAR, and THE CRUSH, then you'll pretty much know what to expect from this movie, albeit on a lesser scale and a lot bloodier.

PLAYING HOUSE is a flawed film - in certain areas more than others, but flawed nonetheless. However, there were times when watching it that I personally forgot about how flawed it was and got caught up in what was going on, but then usually something would happen that would kinda snap me out of it and remind me that I was watching a cliched and amateurish piece of work, and I mean that respectfully. PLAYING HOUSE knows exactly what it is and doesn't try to reinvent the wheel, but at times it reeks of a project that was slightly rushed and could have used a bit more attention and care before it was unleashed to the masses.

Thankfully, the acting from the three leads is surprisingly good despite the characters not being very interesting. Speaking of which, I found it hard to feel bad for the characters in any way. Mitch and Jen in particular have a great life and security, which is something that a lot of people would kill for (whoops), but yet their relationship is falling apart because they're both selfish. Even without Blair in the picture, it would be quite obvious that their relationship is strained and that, ultimately, their clashing personalities would more than likely cause the downfall of their relationship. That being said, Blair didn't really have to do a lot of work if her intention was to infiltrate the lives of the lead characters. All she would have had to do is sit back and wait, but yet she makes this psychotic turn anyway. Blair's drastic but inevitable turn was probably the highlight of the movie for me, but it felt like it was a little too much and even somewhat forced, namely because it wasn't crystal clear as to what her intentions were in the first place.

One strange thing of note is that there's a scene where what I assume is Jen's cat is killed, but prior to that there's absolutely nothing in the film that shows proof of her even owning a cat. Perhaps I missed something, but I'm pretty sure I didn't see a cat shown at any point. Anyway, for a movie that's only about 80-minutes long, PLAYING HOUSE moves at a fairly slow pace, and as I mentioned earlier, it doesn't do anything that films of its sub-genre haven't already done before. On the plus side, it's shot reasonably well and the violence is great once the film hits the third act and the pace starts to pick up a little. If you enjoyed actress Mayra Leal's brief but memorable role as "Naked Chica" in MACHETE, let's just say that you won't be disappointed with her in PLAYING HOUSE.

Score: 6

#1-3 The Death Rattle & Behind the Couch's Top 10 Final Girls

2011-12-09T01:00:00.000-08:00

Behind the Couch
#1 Jannicke in COLD PREY - Jannicke is unquestionably born and bred from Final Girl stock. Good natured, intelligent, funny, mature, pretty, reliable, considerate and loyal. It is she who tends to her injured pal when he breaks his leg snowboarding, she who spies the creepy hotel they seek shelter in and she who tries to make everyone stick together and stay calm when the killer shows up. However she’s far from perfect – which adds to her likableness. She may be in a stable relationship but she balks at the idea of moving in with her boyfriend and demonstrating the level of commitment that action would entail. We also see her break down with the stress of their situation at the hotel. Of course this happens when she’s alone; when she’s with her friends she maintains a brave face for their sake more than her own. In Cold Prey II, we get to see her maternal side through her friendship with Daniel – a fellow patient at the soon to close and eerily deserted hospital.
When the shit hits the fan she keeps her cool and equips herself with strength, a shot gun and brutal determination to stay alive – often putting herself in grave danger to protect others.

The Death Rattle
#1 Jamie Lloyd in HALLOWEEN 5 - What I'm about to say is sacrilege, but I've always preferred Danielle Harris over Jamie Lee Curtis as the "damsel in distress" when it comes to the HALLOWEEN movies. I obviously understand the importance of the Laurie Strode character as portrayed by Jamie Lee in the first two HALLOWEEN films, and she's is without a doubt irreplaceable as the iconic Scream Queen, but Danielle Harris is my girl. With Harris being around the same age as me when she portrayed Jamie Lloyd in the fourth and fifth installments of the HALLOWEEN franchise, her character was always a lot easier for me to connect to. Harris is great in Part 4 as well, but it's in the fifth installment that she shines.

Harris turns in a strong performance, portraying a mute for over half the film and generally partaking in some rather demanding scenes for someone her age - both physically and, I assume, emotionally. Something worth noting about the actual character of Jamie is a certain decision she makes towards the end of the film. When it comes to most Final Girls in slasher films, there comes a point where she's either backed into a corner and is forced to adapt, or she makes a conscious effort to stand up for herself and confront the "boogeyman". In HALLOWEEN 5, Jamie Lloyd is purely in survival mode at a certain point, and while most children in their right mind would have waved the proverbial white flag, she has enough sense to play on the mental instability of Michael Meyers as a means of buying some time and distracting him; while it's ultimately not Jamie who's responsible for the downfall of Meyers in this particular film, her fighting spirit and survival instincts allowed her to overcome a seemingly unstoppable force almost twice her size.

Behind the Couch
#2 Yasmine in FRONTIER(S) - When we first meet Yasmine, she’s participating in a robbery that coincides with a protest march against an extremist right-wing politician who has been elected to the French presidency. She’s also just discovered she’s pregnant. Despite helping with the robbery, Yasmine displays a sense of conscientiousness and responsibility. It is she who insists they take their friend to hospital when he’s shot, even though it would mean a possible encounter with right-wing leaning police. Throughout her ordeal with the fascist Hitler lovin’ inbreeds who take her and her friends captive at the inn in which they seek refuge, her spirit remains unbroken. Parallels with Nazi Germany, meditations on the freedom of the individual and an utterly grueling ‘torture porn’ narrative ensure the viewer is gripped throughout the taut ordeal that is Frontier(s) – and Yasmine is our anchor. Demonstrating pluck, dignity and courage – even when totally surrounded by evil – she represents what we’d all like to think ourselves capable of doing in desperate situations. That she’s pregnant and vulnerable adds fuel to her already intense fire.

The Death Rattle
#2 Beth in HOSTEL II - Ironically, one of the last people who came to mind, but one that would eventually end up very high on the list. Beth (played by Laura German) is an art student who's studying abroad (in Italy to be exact) with a couple of her American friends. One weekend, they decide to take a train out of Italy, but their potentially relaxing getaway turns tragic when they find themselves abducted and essentially sold on the black market to wealthy clients with morbid fetishes. HOSTEL II isn't even close to being a slasher movie, as it's part of the infamous "torture porn" sub-genre that director Eli Roth unintentionally helped put on the map, but the character of Beth possesses the qualities of a strong Final Girl: extremely sensible, no-bullshit attitude, and deceptively tough. In other words, she's not the kinda chick you'd wanna acquire on the black market, and one of the film's antagonists finds this out the hard way in a scene that would make feminists worldwide clap like seals.

Behind the Couch - SPOILER ALERT
#3 Brigitte Fitzgerald in GINGER SNAPS - Ginger Snaps might be about sisterly love, sibling rivalry, burgeoning womanhood relayed through lycanthropic metamorphosis, but it’s also about a young girl yearning to think for herself, find her own voice and step out of her sister’s shadow. While Ginger is changing, physically, Brigitte is developing mentally. Branching out and standing on her own means a schism appears between the sisters, but in the end, because she loves her sister so much, and because she has to in order to ensure her own survival - Brigitte puts werewolf Ginger out of her misery in the most humane way she can. That she often makes awkward teen blunders, feels uncomfortable in her own skin and dabbles in ‘chemistry’ along the way, ensures she’s a highly likeable, though admittedly moody heroine.

The Death Rattle
#3 Chloe in HIGH LANE - While the French-language HIGH LANE is a very unoriginal film with strong similarities to a number of horror movies like THE HILLS HAVE EYES, THE DESCENT, and WRONG TURN, its Final Girl is a standout and obviously one of my favorites. A group of friends go hiking up in the mountains of Croatia, only to find themselves hunted by a savage redneck. Even though the content of the film is all too familiar, it's still a worthwhile entry in the backwoods slasher genre because of its style and the fact that the characters are, for the most part, likable. Amongst those characters is Chloe, played by Fanny Valette. Not much to speak of when it comes to her character or how she's set up to be the Final Girl, but her actions in the back end of the film alone are what made her a no-brainer as far as my picks were concerned. Chloe essentially goes from being your standard Final Girl to unleashing a ferocity the likes of which I rarely see from a character such as hers. We're talking eye-gouging, scratching, clawing, and genital-twisting! The point being, Chloe is not someone you mess with, regardless of whether you're a mountainous savage redneck or not.

#4-7 The Death Rattle & Behind the Couch's Top 10 Final Girls

2011-12-07T00:00:00.000-08:00

Behind the Couch
#4 Jess Bradford in BLACK CHRISTMAS - Jess is often sorely overlooked when it comes to Final Girls – and she was arguably one of the first incarnations of the trope as we know it today. Intelligent, warm, sensible and confident, she seems to have it all. Except she doesn’t – she’s as flawed a character as they come. Discovering she’s pregnant, experiencing doubt and fear, dealing with her highly neurotic boyfriend and then having to dodge the pervy killer with a penchant for making creepy phone calls holed up in her attic; Jess never gets a break. It’s still pretty uncommon today for a film’s heroine to be considering an abortion throughout the narrative; that Jess is so conflicted only serves to heap more flesh on her bones and make her seem more real. When she hears the shocking revelation that the obscene calls they’ve been receiving were made from inside the house, she attempts to get her friends to safety – unaware that they’re already dead. Courageous and loyal, Jess’s only downfall is that she puts too much faith in the ineffectual police.

The Death Rattle
#4 Sarah in THE DESCENT - Sarah is not a Final Girl in the traditional sense, but I picked her because of her character arc, and also because the female characters in the film are designed similar to those that you'd see in a number of slasher movies. Speaking of which, I admire all of the young women in this movie for their toughness; even the one who we're ultimately not supposed to like. As for Sarah, she's someone who experienced great loss and trauma in her life and is suddenly put in a position where she's outside of her comfort level in the midst of her ongoing grieving process. By all means she's the most vulnerable character of the bunch, but yet she overcomes numerous obstacles (including betrayal), as well as her own personal issues, and comes out on top (well, sorta) by finding a strength within herself that she didn't even know she possessed. Probably more so than any other young woman on my list, her transition from victim to aggressor is intense, emotional, and worthy of many a fist-pump.

Behind the Couch - SPOILER ALERT
#5 Marie in SWITCHBLADE ROMANCE - When we’re first introduced to Marie she appears to exude everything a standard Final Girl should: intelligence, humility, a good nature and dependability. She’s a good friend to Alexa and often despairs of her friend’s disastrous romantic relations. Proactive and selfless, it is her we root for throughout the film as we follow her desperate attempts to rescue her friend. She also shows resourcefulness in the face of danger – concealing her possessions from the guest bedroom and retracing her steps so it looks as though the room has no occupant (much like Jane does in Sergio Martino’s Torso) when the killer is searching the house.
*Spoilers*
The twist ending of Switchblade Romance created such a fuss. I for one really like it – when re-watching the film it adds interesting layers and things to look out for. I can understand why some viewers felt cheated – here is a young woman with whom we sided and perched on the edge of our seats for throughout the riveting story – only for her to be revealed as a crazy killer who carried out the atrocities earlier in the film. And all because of her obsession with Alexa. Marie is an interesting twist on the figure of the Final Girl and she serves as a reminder that we all of us have a dark side lurking within, ready to snap. Or maybe that’s just me.

The Death Rattle
#5 Jannicke in COLD PREY - When I first saw COLD PREY, one of the main things that stood out to me was how great the character of Jannicke was. When she's introduced it's quite obvious for a number of reasons that, unless the director planned on pulling a fast one on us, Jannicke was inevitably going to be the Final Girl. Despite not actually being a parent, she's the mature, maternal figure amongst her group of friends, and when they find themselves being preyed on by the film's killer, her motherly instincts come into play and she becomes very protective of everyone else, but it's almost portrayed as if it were an unconscious effort on her part; even with an injured friend holding her back, leaving him behind is never an option to Jannicke. Some of her actions towards the end of the film are more reflective of someone who's simply trying to stay alive rather an a fearless heroine, but her endurance, smarts, and determination prove to be rewarding.

Behind the Couch
#6 Wendy Torrance in THE SHINING - Yes, that’s right. I said Wendy Torrance from The Shining. What? You have a problem with that or something? Yes, she’s arguably pathetic, mousey, hysterical and a limp wet blanket, but like it or not, she represents how most of us would react and behave if placed in a similarly isolated and terrifying situation. The man she loves, the father of her son has just gone bat-shit crazy – how do you think she’d react? Wendy has obviously stood by Jack and supported him through some very bleak times. She would be happy for him to wash cars if it meant having an income – she wouldn’t look down at him, she would support him and appreciate his manual labour. She’s a simple, rational woman with a no frills attitude to life – dependable and encouraging. All she wants is domestic stability and food on the table. That she’s also a confirmed horror film and ghost story addict cements my appreciation for her. She might nervously prance around in her night-robe carrying a kitchen knife she seems ill equipped to do anything with other than grip for sheer life, but when she’s pushed she takes the only necessary course of action in defending herself and her son. We can all relate to her nervousness and ineptitude – but it is these very things, especially her ordinariness, that makes her such a believable character and what compels us to root for her.

The Death Rattle - SPOILER ALERT
#6 Taylor Gentry in BEHIND THE MASK: THE RISE OF LESLIE VERNON - I'd be remiss not to give a shout-out to the Final Girl in one of my favorite slasher movies of all time. Taylor Gentry is a reporter who, along with her camera crew, follows around a charming, charismatic serial killer known as Leslie Vernon, who's basically a "real life" version of a seemingly unstoppable masked killer from a slasher movie. Taylor and her crew begin to have second thoughts on their coverage when shit gets real, and they eventually turn on Leslie, which leads to them being preyed on by the man they befriended and Taylor making a drastic turn, going from a fragile, wide-eyed young woman to someone who's backed into a corner and has to get her hands dirty if she wants to survive. The character of Taylor herself is a self-referential manifestation of the stereotypical Final Girl without ever becoming a parody, but what makes her one of my favorites mostly has to do with how well she's played by Angela Goethals. Her inevitable showdown with Leslie could be seen as her acting out some pent-up sexual tension, but that's a discussion for another time.

Behind the Couch - SPOILER ALERT
#7 Samantha Hughes in THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL - Typical girl next door, there’s nothing too remarkable about Samantha. She’s a student, wants a place of her own and likes hanging out with her best bud Megan scoffing pizza and listening to music on her totally rad walkman. She’s mature and responsible but far from perfect. Slightly prissy about hygiene and more uptight than her free spirited friend, Samantha might be a bit of a stick-in-the-mud, but she’s level-headed, reliable and downright groovy in her own quiet way. Miss Hughes shares the same likable ordinariness Wendy Torrance from The Shining demonstrated, though she reveals herself to be far gutsier. When bonkers occultists try to impregnate her with the Devil’s child, Samantha does what any rational thinking, desperate victim of the damned would do – she kicks, screams, slashes, shoots and bludgeons her way the fuck out of there. With Sam as his mum, Little Lucifer may not be so bad after all; at least the apocalypse might boast a rad Eighties rock soundtrack.

The Death Rattle
#7 Kirsty Cotton in HELLRAISER - What do you do when you find yourself in a situation where you have a wicked stepmother and her skinless lover wanting to kill you and a group of angry demons wanting to drag you down to the depths of Hell? Well, if you're as cunning (or desperate) as Kirsty Cotton in my second favorite horror movie of all time, the answer is quite simple: you turn them against each other and sneak out the back door. There's no denying that Kirsty is somewhat of a brat in HELLRAISER, but the manner in which she goes about saving herself and eliminating the evil entities is quite admirable. For those reasons, and also because I've always had a huge crush on Ashley Laurence, Kirsty was one of the first characters who came to mind when throwing this list together.

Check back on Friday for the final three!

#8-10 The Death Rattle & Behind the Couch's Top 10 Final Girls

2011-12-05T00:05:00.000-08:00

Aaron - When the thought came to me of doing a top ten list that honors the kick-ass horror heroines of past and present, I immediately thought of reaching out to James Gracey from Behind the Couch. He is, after all, a published author, and we both share an admiration of the slasher genre, so I thought it would be interesting to contrast and compare our respective lists of favorite Final Girls. I initially wanted to go in a traditional direction with my list while still opting to respectfully leave out the obvious choices and focus on the under-appreciated and overlooked ladies of slasher lore, but the interesting picks that James provided allowed me to think outside the box and go with a couple of unusual and unconventional picks.

James - As much as I love Laurie, Alice, Nancy and Ripley, I didn’t want to just knock out another retread on why these tried and tested Final Girls have remained so enduring. I thought it might be more interesting to take a look at a few other ‘horror heroines’ who don’t often get a look in, perhaps because they broaden, bend or even negate the concept of what it is to be a Final Girl. Yes, we know she’s resourceful, good natured, dependable, the last one left standing and, thanks to John Carpenter, usually virginal; but it is interesting to note that John Carpenter actually said that it wasn’t his Final Girl Laurie’s virginity, chasteness or purity that helped her survive in Halloween; but her pent up sexual frustration.
With that in mind, the women I’ve chosen to highlight might not necessarily fit the rigid and conventional definition or mould of the ‘Final Girl’, but they still represent the strong spirit she is renowned for. Of course, many of the women I’ve listed here obviously owe a huge debt to Laurie, Alice, Nancy and Ripley – whose essences pervade these posts.

Behind the Couch
#8 Stevie Wayne in THE FOG - Single mum Stevie Wayne gets away from the daily grind of the small coastal town in which she resides through her work as a late night radio DJ. And who wouldn’t tune in to listen to Stevie’s smoky, dulcet tones wafting out over the airwaves accompanied by groovy lounge jazz. That she broadcasts from a lighthouse with beautiful scenery just adds to her unequivocal hip factor. She stays at the lighthouse to continue broadcasting her warnings of the dangers lurking in the fog to the townsfolk of Bodega Bay. All the while she keeps her cool, consistently repeating her alluringly breathy warnings over the airwaves. She also has to use her resourcefulness and courage to fend off marauding ghost-zombies from the deep, hell bent on extracting gruesome revenge for the deadly plight that befell them one hundred years ago no thanks to the corrupt ancestors of the towns’ people.

The Death Rattle
#8 Stretch in TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2 - A fun-lovin' Southern gal and Cramps-friendly radio disc jockey, Vanita "Stretch" Brock goes through a lot of punishment in Tobe Hooper's much-criticized sequel to what is arguably the greatest horror film ever made. Stretch inadvertently gets the attention of Leatherface and his cannibalistic kin when she broadcasts a recording of an actual murder they were involved in, and so she's terrorized and eventually abducted by the cannibal clan, who, amongst other things, force Stretch to wear a bloody mask made from the skin of her best friend and father figure. Stretch has a huge advantage over everyone else on my list, however, in that she has a knight in shining armor in the form of Dennis Hopper, who plays an eccentric rogue cop who's hellbent on tracking down Leatherface and company. While Stretch's Southern sass doesn't go far in terms of fighting off a chainsaw-wielding psychopath and his maniacal family, her quirks are just a few of the reasons why this tough Texas gal is on my list. Plus, her name is Vanita!

Behind the Couch
#9 Kirsty Cotton in HELLRAISER - Moving with her father and stepmother to a new life in England, Kirsty is an outsider from the get go. She is also headstrong and fiercely independent. When she realises what sort of sordid, blood-soiled and downright gruesome stuff her wicked stepmother has been getting up to in the attic of her family home, Kirsty rolls up her Eighties sleeves and makes an admirable stand. We’ve already seen what the morbidly otherworldly and sadomasochistic Cenobites are capable of, so Kirsty’s chances of survival seem pretty darn slim; especially for such a sheltered ‘daddy’s girl.’ But all that determination and quick thinking pays off – as Kirsty beats the Cenobites not once, not twice, but thrice. Facing them again as a patient in a psychiatric hospital (in Hellbound: Hellraiser II) and as the downtrodden, cheated on and mightily pissed off wife of a man whose soul she decides to trade for her own (in Hellseeker: Hellraiser VI), Kirsty knows what it takes to save her own skin, and that she’s brutally rational enough to make the sacrifices and take the risks she does, marks her as a born survivor.

The Death Rattle
#9 Tina Shepard in FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VII: THE NEW BLOOD - Everyone's so crazy about Ginny in Part 2 (me included), but it doesn't mean everyone should overlook Tina from THE NEW BLOOD. I think it's a case of people disregarding her simply because of her association with what is arguably a sub-par entry in the FRIDAY franchise, but I digress.

But seriously though, does Ginny have telekinetic powers? I think not. That being said, Tina has a huge advantage over pretty much every character who ever appeared in the franchise - including Jason Voorhees himself. Admittedly, I might be a little biased because of my love of telekinetic-teen films, but it's hard to deny the fact that Tina pushes Jason Voorhees to the limit, which can't really be said for any of the other Final Girls in the series - at least not the extent of the psychic-powered punishment that Tina dishes out. Furniture literally flies when they clash. While she can't take credit for putting Jason down for the count permanently, Tina at least put up a hell of a fight and even managed to get some closure with her kinda-dead-but-not-really father in the process.

Behind the Couch - SPOILER ALERT
#10 Beth in THE DESCENT - Remember when I said I might push the boundaries of what is usually deemed the definition of Final Girl? Well, Beth from The Descent is that. I know, she doesn’t even make it to the end, but before she’s bumped off, she demonstrates all the usual attributes of the Final Girl, and a damn likable and down to earth one at that. Resourceful, loyal, even-headed and witty – she’s always there for her friends when they need her – both physically and emotionally. Beth seems likely to make it to the end; she just didn’t count on the kind of monstrous and backstabbing femininity that would not only cause her death – but also be dealt by one whom she deemed a friend.

The Death Rattle
#10 Katherine (aka "Katie") in HOUSE ON SORORITY ROW - When people talk about the great 80's slashers, SORORITY ROW doesn't really come up too often and I'm not sure why; it's a solid slasher movie with more style and creepy atmospheric moments than one would expect.

But enough about that.

Final Girl Katie, by comparison, is a fucking angel compared to her friends, all of whom are mean-spirited brats. Set in a college, a cruel prank turns fatal, and Katie's girlfriends ditch the body and pretend it never happened; but of course, in true slasher tradition, their actions come back to haunt them as a mysterious killer dispatches them one by one. By definition, Katie fits the Final Girl criteria to a tee: she has integrity and morals, she's not glamorous, she's not a huge partier, and she's not a sexual person. In other words, she's not my type at all. Aside from the fact that she's a genuinely good person who deserves to live, her impressive turn during the film's climactic moments make Katherine one of my favorite Final Girls. Homegirl has stamina and even perseveres through severe disorientation during the big showdown. Also, she earns bonus points for throwing an empty gun at her attacker.

Check back on Wednesday for the next four.

Stigmata (1999)

2011-12-03T19:00:00.000-08:00

Directed by Rupert Wainwright. Starring Patricia Arquette ("Frankie"), Gabriel Byrne ("Father Andrew Kiernan"), Jonathan Pryce ("Cardinal Daniel Houseman"), and Nia Long ("Donna"). Rated R.

Source: Region 1 DVD (MGM)
Running time: 01:42:03
Country: USA

Father Andrew Kiernan is sent to Brazil by the Vatican to investigate an unexplained religious phenomena that ultimately turns out to be a bust, but while he's there he witnesses something miraculous at a nearby church when he sees a statue of the Virgin of Guadalupe crying blood. When he reports his findings back to the Vatican, his superior, Cardinal Houseman, disregards his claims. Ironically, Father Kiernan is a skeptic by nature, but even he's convinced that the odd occurrence in Brazil defies logical explanation. It's during the early scenes of the film that Father Kiernan is established as a man of science, which obviously contradicts his supposed religious beliefs, but then it's later revealed (not a spoiler) that his beliefs are almost non-existent, which makes him yet another cliched faithless priest; it goes without saying that he'll inevitably find himself in a situation where he has to dig deep and get reacquainted with the faith he once had. This is where Frankie comes into the picture.

Frankie is a hair stylist who lives in Pittsburgh and works at a salon that doubles as a place where you go to get your nipples pierced and whatnot. She's a bit of a wild child and a self-proclaimed atheist, but yet early on in the film she experiences something typically linked to people who are strongly religious: stigmata. Without explanation, Frankie is attacked by an invisible force and ends up with injuries that coincide with the same wounds that Jesus Christ endured when he was crucified. Another incident occurs on the subway when she's yet again attacked by an invisible force and emerges with wounds across her back as if she's been whipped. Father Kiernan gets word of this and is sent to investigate. Once Frankie realizes she can trust Kiernan, the two develop a friendship that eventually leads to something romantic but not really. Father Kiernan attempts to save Frankie as her attacks get worse, emotionally investing in her in the process.

Though stylish, with a decent late 90's electronica soundtrack (if you're into that) and a good performance from Gabriel Byrne, STIGMATA is your typical Catholic horror movie. Not a plot-heavy film by any means, STIGMATA relies on gradual exposition to safely guide it to its predictable destination. Most of the second act is Frankie's crash course on demonic possession, unexplained religious phenomena, and Catholicism in general, with occasional visually jarring scenes of her being abused by an invisible entity, or in some cases abusing herself while speaking Latin in a man's voice. I remember seeing STIGMATA in theaters when it came out and being impressed with some of the film's visual aspects, which is still the case today. Nightmarish visions involving religious iconography appear throughout the film with consistency, and, overall, the film has a very polished, slightly hyperstylized look, complimented by Corgan's downtempo electronic score and thumping electronica music from the likes of David Bowie. Otherwise, STIGMATA is unintentionally silly at times, and in general it doesn't bring anything new to the table in terms of horror movies relating to Catholicism. To be fair, though, you could do much worse. This is one of those movies I'd recommend as a time-killer if you happen to have it readily available.

Score: 6

December is Ladies' Month on The Death Rattle

2011-12-01T23:05:00.000-08:00

Yeah, so after a month straight of reviewing macho Action and Crime films, I decided to dedicate all of December to the ladies. I'll be posting less than I normally do (every two days as opposed to every day?) because, quite frankly, I'm a little burnt out, and I'm planning on taking the entire month of January off if things don't pick up here in the feedback department. Just to give you an idea of what I have in store, I'll be reviewing movies that aren't necessarily about women but have females in the lead role, and if everything goes according to plan I'll have a couple of interviews to post throughout the month that I'm really excited about. Also, me and James from Behind the Couch did a top ten list of our favorite Final Girls that I'll be posting sooner than later. Sound good?

December Giveaway!

2011-12-01T00:30:00.000-08:00

This month I once again teamed up with someone for a giveaway, and seeing as it's Ladies' Month here on The Death Rattle, it's fitting that my partner this month is the lovely Heather S. of the Mermaid Heather blog. I am providing a brand new copy of the Fernando Di Leo Eurocrime box set on DVD (which contains four films on four separate DVDs and a booklet), and Heather is providing not one but two awesome prizes. First is a DVD of the action-horror movie D4 (trailer) autographed by the director, which isn't even readily-available yet. Heather tried giving this DVD away on her blog to no avail, so she sweetened the pot by throwing in the second item she's providing: a HOUSE BY THE CEMETERY 11" x 17" poster autographed by four of its cast members. Regarding the Di Leo box set, keep in mind, everyone outside of the U.S. and Canada, that it's Region 1 NTSC.

To enter, all you have to do is follow three easy steps:

1. Follow my Facebook Page (you obviously need a Facebook account to do this)

2. Follow Heather's blog by scrolling to the bottom of the page and clicking on the "Join this Site" button.

3. Once you've completed the previous two steps, send me an e-mail at aarond_0999 at yahoo dot com with the subject "Death Rattle". When doing this, please provide me with two things: your mailing address and what item(s) you're interested in winning. Depending on how many people enter, there's a good chance that the prizes will be split up so that more people have the opportunity to win. And yes, you can enter to win all three if you'd like, but I don't want to give the Di Leo box set away to someone who's only interested in the poster.

That's all. It's very important that you complete the first two steps before sending me an e-mail, and before I draw the names of the winner(s) I will be checking to verify that you've completed the first two steps. It may be asking a lot on my part, but we are giving away A LOT. If you don't have a Facebook account, you can get someone who does to enter for you. The deadline for entries is December 28, 2011 and I will be announcing the names of the winner(s) shortly thereafter through a video blog. Good luck!

Jason Lives, Pt. II: A Jason Statham Retrospective

2011-11-29T18:50:00.000-08:00

THE TRANSPORTER (2002) - Not a perfect film by any stretch, but the quintessential Statham movie in my opinion, and the film that defined his career. TRANSPORTER allowed him to step up from being a secondary actor in action films to getting the spotlight for himself and shining as an action star. Statham plays a professional driver who does everything from personal escorts to getaway driving for criminals, just so long as his clients abide by his strict set of rules. Things take a turn for Statham's character when he strays from his own guidelines to help someone, and thus interfering with what one of his clients hired him to do, which of course leads to repercussions and Statham becoming a target for the criminals who he betrayed. Great villain (Matt Schulze), gorgeous "damsel in distress" (Qi Shu), tons of action and exceptional stunt work, and Statham being a bad-ass.

Score: 7

THE TRANSPORTER 2 (2005) - Different in tone from the first TRANSPORTER in that it's a bit more over the top and hyperstylized, with a very "French" feel if that makes any sense. The selling point here is Statham's character (who, in hindsight, is a very iconic figure of modern-day action cinema), and in that respect the film delivers. However, it's not nearly as good as the first film. The script is really weak, and the film as a whole is an obvious cash cow that doesn't really bring anything new to the table except introduce new obstacles for Statham's character. I like that there are two main villains in the film who work together, and while I love the female villain (played by Kate Nauta), it doesn't change the fact that she's quite generic, which can also be said for her partner in crime. It is what it is, though. TRANSPORTER 2 is fast-paced, full of action, watchable as a standalone film, and not a complicated movie by any means.

Score: 6

LONDON (2005) - A romantic drama that revolves around the messy break-up of Chris Evans and Jessica Biel's characters. Evans subsequently spirals into a world of depression and booze, and when he finds out that Biel's character is moving out of town, he crashes her going-away party at an upscale condo with an acquaintance (Statham), but they spend most of the night in the bathroom snorting coke, drinking booze, and getting philosophical as a revolving door of ladies join in on the festivities. Aside from being a pretty solid film altogether, LONDON is noteworthy for having an interesting cast and featuring Statham in a role where he doesn't have to beat anyone up and actually gets to show his acting chops. Kat Dennings, Dane Cook, and Louis C.K. are just a few of the supporting cast members who come to mind, as well as that cute chick from BULLY. Evans, Statham, and Biel (looking her absolute hottest in this) appeared together just a year earlier in CELLULAR, which featured Statham in a rare bad guy role.

Score: 7.5

CRANK (2006) - Statham plays Chev Chelios - a hitman who betrays his employer and subsequently gets injected with some "synthetic Chinese shit" that doesn't necessarily kill him but requires he maintain a high level of adrenaline if he wants to stay alive. As he attempts to seek retribution on the crime lord who fucked his world up, he essentially has to keep moving and do whatever he can to stay alive, even if it means pumping his body full of dangerous substances, picking fights with random people, or having sex with his girlfriend (Amy Smart) in public. CRANK is visually assaulting right from the very first scene, and the film as a whole provides the novelty of a tough-guy actor like Jason Statham involved in some truly ridiculous set-pieces. While some of the visual techniques that filmmakers Neveldine and Taylor utilize in order to create a consistently manic atmosphere are effective, a critique on my part would be that the overall look of the film is quite bland (something that was improved upon tenfold in the sequel). Statham is great though, and Amy Smart is one of those rare actresses who can simultaneously pull off sexy and adorable.

Score: 7

THE BANK JOB (2008) - Based on a true story about a group of thieves in London who robbed a bank and in doing so uncovered some incriminating photos involving an important politician. A very odd but well-done heist movie that doesn't know if it wants to be funny or dead serious. One moment we get the comedy and quirky behavior that wouldn't feel out of place in a Guy Ritchie film, and the next moment we get a very dark scene where someone's being tortured or a woman is being chopped up with a machete and buried in someone's back yard. Personally, I really love the look of the film; not just the aesthetic and the fact that the film is set in the early 70's and does a great job of capturing the feel of that time, but every single aspect about the visuals right down to the costume and set design. I also find it to be a very "watchable" film with a good enough pace, but it's the uneven tone that doesn't sit well with me. Also, there's a surprising amount of nudity in this, which isn't a bad thing.

Score: 6.5

THE TRANSPORTER 3 (2008) - An eco-terrorist kidnaps the wild-child daughter of the head of Ukraine's Environmental Protection Agency, Valentina (Natalya Rudakova), and uses her for leverage until he signs some documents that will apparently allow them to pollute the world with toxic waste or something. I don't know. Statham's character comes into play when the villain straps an explosive to his wrist and forces him to escort the abducted young lady to a certain location. That being said, the third TRANSPORTER is a road movie with interspersed scenes of car chases and well-choreographed fight scenes in which Statham singlehandedly destroys large groups of stuntmen. While it's still over the top in terms of action, it's not as hyperstylized or absurd as its predecessor, which is neither good nor bad. However, it still doesn't touch the first TRANSPORTER in terms of action and stunt work. Worthwhile as an action film and time-killer, but the story is uninteresting and Rudakova's character may get on your last nerve.

Score: 6

CRANK: HIGH VOLTAGE (2009) - The filmmaking duo of Neveldine and Taylor seem to have their share of nay-sayers and non-believers, but I for one am a huge fan of their directorial efforts, and especially the second CRANK film in particular. The first time I saw this film was in theaters, and I remember sitting there stunned and in complete adoration at how vulgar and absurd this movie was (at the time, I had never seen the first CRANK film and pretty much went into it blind, sold solely on the fact that it was scored by Mike Patton). It still holds up for me as a highly-entertaining, ludicrous action film laced with satisfying amounts of profanity, gratuitous nudity, and graphic violence. I'll be the first to point out its flaws and admit that the fast-paced nature of the film can get old after a while, but the shortcomings of the film never take away from the high level of enjoyment that I personally get out of it. This is easily Jason Statham at his most over the top, and Mike Patton's score is incredibly underappreciated. HIGH VOLTAGE is essentially the first film turned up to eleven. It's so good in comparison to its predecessor that I don't even consider it a sequel; I think of the first film as a prequel to CRANK: HIGH VOLTAGE.

Score: 8

13 (2010) - Georgian director Géla Babluani remakes his own award-winning film, 13 TZAMETI, and casts quite the ensemble this time around. Jason Statham, Ray Winstone, Mickey Rourke, Michael Shannon, Ben Gazzara, and Fiddy Cent just to name a few. 13 is about a destitute young man (Sam Riley) who seizes an opportunity to make some money and inadvertently winds up as a participant in a Russian Roulette tournament. A secretive underground group of gamblers represent their own participants in the tournament (most of whom are there against their will) and place bets on their men. The tournament goes trough a series of rounds depending on how many people are killed, and as each person advances in the tournament, an extra bullet is put into their gun, which obviously decreases the odds of winning.

The concept of 13 is really interesting, unique, and twisted, and in fact the whole Russian Roulette tournament is very well-executed in terms of the rules being established and how it plays out, but keep in mind that 13 is very character-driven as opposed to it being about the actual tournament. Without giving anything away, the last thirty minutes of the film lost me, but I enjoyed the first hour and especially the Russian Roulette scenes, which were quite tense. While the ensemble cast made the film a tad bit more interesting than if it would have featured actors of lesser popularity, the presence of people like Winstone and even Statham seemed pointless, and in the end it was only Mickey Rourke (amongst the bigger names) who really stood out despite his generic character.

Score: 6

BLITZ (2011) - A cool throwback to the old-school police procedural cop-versus-killer movies. Statham plays a Dirty Harry type of crusty detective who winds up investigating a series of cop-killings as committed by a mysterious madman known as "the Blitz Killer". There's also a bit of culture shock when Statham is paired up with an openly homosexual detective played by Paddy Considine. Speaking of which, Statham and Considine have great chemistry together. An interesting aspect of both of their characters (but mostly in Statham's case) is that they have troubled pasts and are still coming to terms with their respective issues. That being said, BLITZ is equal parts character and plot-driven, which makes what could have been an otherwise by the numbers police procedural interesting; it's just as much about the cat-and-mouse as it is about Statham being burnt out and the camaraderie amongst the cops in the darkest of times. BLITZ is a gritty film with scenes of nasty violence and some well-written wise-ass dialogue. Actor Aidan Gillen is brilliant as the Blitz Killer, evoking an amount of sleaze that would make him right at home in an 80's Cannon film.

Score: 7

Viva La Statham

The Last Hunter (1980)

2011-11-27T19:03:00.000-08:00

Directed by Antonio Margheriti. Starring David Warbeck ("Capt. Henry Morris"), Tisa Farrow ("Jane Foster"), Tony King ("Sgt. George Washington"), and Bobby Rhodes ("Carlos"). Not Rated.

Source: Region 1 DVD (Dark Sky/MPI)
Running time: 01:36:07
Country: Italy

Originally billed as a sequel to THE DEER HUNTER overseas (really?), THE LAST HUNTER is an Italian-produced Vietnam film that was shot in the Philippines by director Antonio Margheriti and a minimal crew. David Warbeck (THE BEYOND) plays Captain Henry Morris, who's on a mission to take out a radio tower deep in the jungles and stop the broadcasting of anti-war propaganda. Morris and his crew of ragtag soldiers, along with a female journalist named Jane Foster (Tisa Farrow), trek through the jungles of Vietnam and encounter enemies and a group of American soldiers who are holed up in a cave that just so happens to have a full bar! It's a typical Vietnam movie in terms of the conventions and set-pieces, but with bizarre parallels to WIZARD OF OZ and a great score that wouldn't feel out of place in an Italian zombie movie.

As if it weren't clear enough by what I mentioned earlier, this film was indeed made to cash in on the success of THE DEER HUNTER and, more specifically, APOCALYPSE NOW. Antonio Margheriti even went out of his way to shoot in the same locations as Coppola's Vietnam classic, so if a lot of the scenery looks familiar to you, it's no accident. Speaking of which, regardless of Margheriti literally trying to follow in the footsteps of Francis Ford Coppola, the locations he shot the film in are pretty amazing. Say what you want about this movie, but you can't deny the excellent production value. Keeping in mind the small crew and minimal amount of equipment Margheriti utilized while making this film, I'd go so far as to call it a huge achievement for the director.

There's not a whole lot else to say about this movie other than it contains a vast amount of Fulci-esque gore, which caused it to be outright banned in some countries. Speaking of which, I coulda swore that this was on the Video Nasties list, but I guess I was wrong. Judging by how violent it is, I'm actually quite shocked it didn't get banned in the UK. Speaking of Video Nasties, actress Margit Evelyn Newton, who appeared in Bruno Mattei's infamous HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD, has a small role in this film. Other noteworthy cast members include Bobby Rhodes who played the pimp and personal trainer in Lamberto Bava's DEMONS and its sequel, respectively, and John Steiner, who played an important role in Argento's TENEBRAE.

Despite THE LAST HUNTER being kinda boring, I quite enjoyed it for its atmosphere, which is partly due to Franco Micalizzi's occasionally eerie score and the film's slight otherworldly feel. Like WIZARD OF OZ, which I mentioned earlier, Warbeck's character, his platoon, and the female journalist are comparable Dorothy, her dog, and her heartless, courage-less, and brain-less cohorts. The unveiling of the mysterious propaganda-spewing woman at the end of the film is similar to the reveal of the Wizard. I'm sure comparing a Margheriti-directed exploitation movie to an American classic sounds very pretentious, but the similarities are there. I also compared ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK to the same film when I reviewed it back in the day, but I think it's less of a stretch in this case. Keep in mind, however, that I'm not praising the film. My reaction to the film has more to do with the fact that it's not what I expected. It's still boring, and in general it's not a pleasant film to watch.

Score: 6

Jason Lives, Pt. I: A Jason Statham Retrospective

2011-11-25T22:05:00.000-08:00

LOCK, STOCK AND TWO SMOKING BARRELS (1998) - LOCK, STOCK was a huge financial success that launched the careers of director Guy Ritchie and actors Jason Statham and Vinnie Jones. Admittedly, I'm not a huge fan of Ritchie's work (as in, I don't get excited when he has a new movie coming out, but I'll eventually check it out sooner or later), but I appreciate and admire the fast-paced, dialogue-heavy style of his films. This one starts really good, and in true Ritchie fashion with lots of style, fast-paced editing, Scorsese-esque freeze frames and narration, great dialogue, and of course the thick Cockney accents, but as with Ritchie's other movies (for me, anyway), it gets old after a while and the story becomes somewhat hard to follow because of the amount of characters who are introduced. That being said, LOCK, STOCK is still quite a bit of fun. As Ritchie has proven since this film, he's able to create an interesting universe of fun characters who are grounded in reality but still over the top and imaginative. Jason Statham is good in it, but I wouldn't have guessed just based on this film that he was gonna be a huge star.

Score: 7

SNATCH. (2000) - Like Ritchie's other films, SNATCH is convoluted but fairly easy to follow if you pay enough attention. I have fond memories of watching this one in the early 00's, laughing at the dialogue and later drunkenly quoting the film with friends. Jason Statham plays Turkish - a small-time boxing promoter who gets mixed up with the mob and spends the entire movie trying to redeem himself and keep a "horrible cunt" known as Brick Top out of his hair. SNATCH is very similar to LOCK, STOCK in that it's stylishly identical and features an ensemble cast, except this one is a bit more all over the place in terms of its editing and how the narrative plays out. The characters are great, as is the cast (and the soundtrack!), but, admittedly, I've grown weary of the dialogue I once adored.

Score: 7.5

THE ONE (2001) - Jet Li travelling through time and trying to kill the Jet Lis of the alternate universes? Yeah, I dunno. Jason Statham and Delroy Lindo play intergalactic bounty hunters who follow the evil Jet Li to various alternate universes and try to stop him before he kills... himself. Statham and Lindo don't have the best chemistry, and Jet Li is one of the most uninteresting leading men I've ever seen. I get it: he's a legit bad-ass martial artist, and at one time he was one of the more recognizable household names when it came to action stars, but I find watching him in English-language movies to be almost unbearable. Another unfortunate aspect of the film, acting-wise, is that Jason Stathan takes a stab at an American accent, which is really awkward to listen to. Statham plays a supporting role and doesn't really do a whole lot except make some wise-ass comments and shoot people every once in a while. THE ONE is very much The Jet Li Show. If you like music by Drowning Pool and Papa Roach, as well as those post-MATRIX slow-motion action shots (ugh), you'll probably love this movie. As for me, I can't get into it.

Score: 6

CHAOS (2005) - Statham plays Quentin Connors - a detective who's been suspended for his involvement in an incident where both a criminal and a hostage were shot and killed by his former partner, who was relieved of his duties as a detective. His suspension is cut short, however, when a group of thieves (led by Wesley Snipes) stick up a bank and request that Statham's character be brought to the scene. Connors is re-hired on the spot and given a young rookie detective (Ryan Phillipe) as his partner. The whole set up is strange, and it seems like the heist is more of a trap, with the intention being to lure in Statham's character for whatever reason rather than steal money. There's quite a bit of back and forth between Statham and Snipes throughout the film, with Snipes saying a bunch of cryptic shit, like "Chaos has some order to it." For the most part, CHAOS is a pretty standard, by the numbers police procedural. Bland cinematography and a plot twist that you can see coming a mile away. Statham only kills one person in it. Highlight: Natassia Malthe attacking someone with a baseball bat whilst naked.

Score: 5.5

REVOLVER (2005) - Someone I know described this film as an "interesting mess", and I think that sums it up precisely. You'd think Guy Ritchie would go back to his roots after SWEPT AWAY got panned by critics and bombed at the box office, and while REVOLVER at least takes Ritchie back to the crime genre, it lacks the comedy, quirks, and Scorsese-isms that made his first two films so special. In fact, REVOLVER is just downright bizarre. A lot of the Kabbalah symbolism that Ritchie included in the film was indeed interesting, but I assume it all goes right over the head of the average viewer (such as myself) and, ultimately, doesn't make a lot of sense. Boring and tedious are words that come to mind, and I'd even go so far as to call it pretentious, although I do appreciate what the film has to offer from an artistic standpoint. I can just imagine a bunch of people watching this just because Statham is in it, only to be disappointed to find out that it's not a "Jason Statham movie" in the traditional sense. When it's all said and done, though, I do think some of the psychological elements are interesting, and it's beautifully-shot, which is something that you can usually count on when it comes to Ritchie's films.

Score: 7

IN THE NAME OF THE KING: A DUNGEON SIEGE TALE (2007) - To tell you the truth, I didn't even realize that this was an Uwe Boll film until it was over and I saw his name pop up on the end credits, and at that point it all kinda made sense. As with Boll's other films, there appears to be a lack of focus on his part in regards to getting good performances out of his actors. Not that the acting throughout the film is bad, but everyone seemed to be doing what they wanted and not what the director was telling them to do. Some of the actors do a decent enough job, some phone it in, and others chew up the scenery - sometimes all in the same scene. As far as Jason Statham, he's decent in this and seems to be taking the material fairly seriously (which may not have been the case, but it comes across that way).

The film is set in medieval times, and so the thought of Jason Statham slaying dragons was quite enticing. It wasn't the case, though. He did, however, battle a bunch of ogres, and he was also involved in a pretty ridiculous scene where he battles Ray Liotta (playing a wizard!) at the end of the film. Decent supporting cast. Ron Perlman, Kristanna Loken, Claire Forlani, and Ray Liotta are noteworthy names that I can think of at the moment. Speaking of which, this would make an interesting companion piece to REVOLVER, since both Statham and Liotta play foes in that one as well.

Score: 5.5

DEATH RACE (2008) - Yet another insultingly dumb Paul W.S. Anderson movie (quite possibly my least filmmaker working today) in which Jason Statham assumes the role of "Frankenstein", who was originally portrayed by David Carradine in Roger Corman's DEATH RACE 2000 (Carradine makes a nice voice cameo as Statham's predecessor in this film). Whereas the original revolved around a cross-country race involving heavily-modified cars, where the object was to run over as many pedestrians as possible, this one takes place in a prison and revolves around a PPV reality show that features prisoners driving armored vehicles through obstacles and attempting to gun each other down with an arsenal of unique weaponry.

DEATH RACE is further proof that Paul W.S. Anderson thinks you're dumb. He incorporates all of these absurd ideas and moments into this particular film and apparently expects you to believe all of them, but yet he still feels the need to explain everything to you through some of the most blatantly expositional info-dumping dialogue I've ever heard. I can't stress a suspension of disbelief more than with this film. It takes place in the most pathetic prison I've ever seen, which apparently houses some of the most dangerous criminals in the world, but yet the prisoners walk around freely with as little supervision as possible. It's the most minimum-security maximum-security prison I've ever seen. On top of that, there are these gorgeous women who look like strippers (A-sqaud strippers, mind you) mingling with the male prisoners as if it's no big deal, like we're supposed to believe that at least one of them won't get dragged into a storage room and raped to death by some tattooed gorilla who's serving multiple life sentences.

One of the biggest insults comes at the very end, when, after watching a film about a bunch of unrealistically-modified cars with fucking missiles strapped to them, a title card pops up reminding the viewer not to try anything depicted in the film at home. You mean I'm not supposed to strap a giant fucking machine gun to the top of my Mustang and shoot at people? Thanks, Paul!

By now you're probably thinking that this movie has its own special place on my shit list, but you know what? I'm not ashamed to say that I love DEATH RACE and actually prefer it much more to the original despite it having a much more interesting idea and aesthetic. True, DEATH RACE is substancially retarded and seemingly made for the lowest common denominator, but, for me, it's an absolute blast to watch. The cars are awesome. It's well over ninety minutes long but only feels like an hour because of how fast-paced and exciting it is. It's extremely high on entertainment value and re-watchability. All of the characters (even some of the lesser characters who don't make it to the end of the film) are great. Most importantly, Jason Statham is a bad-ass in it and he's built like a fucking tank. I generally avoid Paul W.S. Anderson movies, but DEATH RACE is the one exception that I enjoy immensely.

Score: 7.5

THE MECHANIC (2011) - A trustworthy source referred to THE MECHANIC as one of the better Statham films to have come out in the last year, so I went into it with an open mind. I should say that, while I do find the original Charles Bronson MECHANIC to be a well-done film, I personally don't hold it in very high regard and probably won't ever re-watch it again unless I do some sort of Bronson marathon. Now that I've obviously seen it, I can't say that I enjoyed Statham's MECHANIC or feel that it lived up to even the most moderate of expectations, but I was quite relieved to find that it's indeed a remake with a lot of the same elements as the original rather than a re-boot or a very loose remake.

Like Bronson in the original, Statham plays someone who's like a step above a hitman. If hitmen were ordinary street-walkers, Statham's character would be like a high-priced escort. Basically, you get your money's worth and there won't be as much of a mess when it's all said and done. And, like Jan-Michael Vincent in the original, Ben Foster plays Statham's apprentice who's being groomed to be a fellow "mechanic". Considering the original was a slow burn, I was pretty open to this remake essentially betraying the original and taking a much more explosive and over the top approach to the characters and whatnot, and while I think it tried to do that, I was honestly really bored while watching it. There's not much of a plot, and they (Statham and Foster) pretty much spend most of the movie just going around and killing people; normally that would be fine with me, but in this case it gets to be repetitive. In the end, THE MECHANIC just seems really pointless.

Score: 6

Roger Ward Guest Post: The History of "Brothers"

2011-11-22T18:11:00.000-08:00

ed. - In the NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD documentary, the 1982 film BROTHERS is briefly mentioned during the section that covers Horror movies. In doing research on all of the films talked about in the aforementioned Aussie exploitation documentary, it became clear to me that BROTHERS was one of the most obscure titles, and its availability today is limited to long out of print VHS tapes - none of which, I believe, were ever available in North America. As luck would have it, it turned out that Roger Ward, who I've been lucky enough to correspond with, wrote both the novel and the script that eventually became what he considers to be the travesty known as BROTHERS. A casual inquiry on my part developed into Roger being gracious enough to write a rather revealing, in-depth account of the genesis of the project and what eventually became of it.

We actors and writers are lucky in a way, now that the internet has swept the world, because ever since movies began, actors, writers and director have been judged relentlessly, either in a favorable mode or in derision by the millions who eventually see the end result. So having people like you, creating radio programs, or writing for the press, or creating blogs, you give us a viral soap box upon which we can plead our case; somewhere to finally explain why or what or when and tell the reason why. Was it money, desperation, (often the case) coercion? Yes, that too, but somewhere for us to explain what induced us to do what we eventually did.
BROTHERS was directed by Terry Bourke, but not many people know that it was adapted from my novel entitled REFLEX.
I must prefix this explanation about the history behind REFLEX with the information that Terry Bourke, of whom the question above is really regarding, was a shifty but clever and cunning little character who did a lot of work. Some was good. However, the good was canceled out by his cavalier attitude to money (always other peoples'), his disrespect of his peers, and an almost obsessive jealousy of anyone else in the industry. He ostracized and put many people down including me when he sent off a debilitating entry to IMDB regarding my date of birth and my beginnings in the industry; an entry that despite years of trying was not removed until 2011 and only then because an actress sued them for the very same reason I had.
To his credit, Terry had an uncanny ability to make a tiny creek in the suburbs of Sydney look like the back blocks of Vietnam. He could also carve a piece of cardboard, put lights behind it and shoot it with a title beneath, and those that saw it on the silver screen would swear it really was a Manhattan skyline. He could shoot beneath a doctored typewriter or through a disassembled camera or use a single house for the entire shoot of a film. He also wrote many show business articles for daily newspapers, but at best he was an egotistical arsehole who was nowhere near as talented as he imagined he was, and a terrible spendthrift of other peoples' money. He also wrote threatening letters of demand and abuse on paper with my letter head. He also singed my name. A fact I only became aware of when the documents were shown to me by receivers. He was also a pathological liar.
But that's show business.

A screenshot from NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD

As is already well documented, I spend a number of years writing THE SET, a novel that eventually created a movie of the same name. At the same time, I dabbled in other projects, amongst them was REFLEX. A novel and proposed film that was inspired by the Vietnam war. As seeing horrific news reports and photographs regarding that shit fight, I felt the need to document. So I created as my main protagonist, a photojournalist (influenced by the fact that Sean Flynn, the son of movie legend Errol, was in the area as a photographer). I also created a twin brother to act as the journalist who would write the stories that go with the shots. But after researching the atrocities being performed by both sides, I realized that a film based solely in Vietnam would be too heavy, so I had the journalist escape the war and seek peace and solitude in New Zealand.
This departure caused the cameraman to chase his brother to the land of the long white cloud and attempt to lure him back.
The brother's time in New Zealand, despite the exquisite scenery and contrasting visuals, would end up with even more conflict than they had left behind.
At that stage I was writing my narrative in the normal manner, but in early 1970 I happened to read 'Love Story'. a book that had been adapted from a film play and released as a novel purely to stir interest in the pending film. The book was virtually a film play in hard cover, yet it read well and caused me to trim my own book to the bare minimum.
I finished REFLEX sometime in 1972 and took it to Greater Union in Sydney, a film company I was associated with through various productions as an actor. The local chief at the time was a delightful man named John Fraser, and I proposed a book/film scenario as was done with 'Love Story', but John poo-poohed the idea. He felt the Vietnam war was an open wound, that no one wanted to see a movie, or read a book about the atrocities that were being performed.
Of course I was extremely disappointed and placed the project in the bottom drawer of my desk. Within a year, however, John Fraser rang to ask if REFLEX was still available. His interest had been aroused by an American director named Francis Ford Coppola, who had come to Australia to look for locations for a proposed Vietnam war film set in... you guessed it, Vietnam, and again you guessed right if you thought the name of the film was going to be APOCALYPSE NOW. I naturally kicked up a fuss, indicating my dissatisfaction that John should wait for the Americans to bless the filming of this area before we attempted it. I was angry and disappointed that we would be second can off the rank, but succumbed when John suggested we shoot with myself in the role of the cameraman and that another up and coming Australian actor, Jack Thompson, should play the journalist.
All was set until just weeks prior to production John Fraser and I went to a Greater Union private screening of a Jack Thompson film entitled PETERSEN. It was Jack's first major role, and while I enjoyed the film and Jack's acting, I was a little taken aback by his rather heavy Australian accent, as I was, and still am, a firm believer in using an international accent when making films to be released abroad. It was something I intended for Jack and myself on REFLEX. So I was not really surprised when John announced that "Jack was embarrassingly bad." I knew it would be the end for Jack, and wondered if in fact it would be the end for REFLEX and headed for the hastily organized meeting with trepidation. My fears were directed in another direction, though, when John informed that far from firing Jack, he wanted to elevate him to the role of the cameraman and for me to play the journalist. Now both were strong roles and great characters to play, but I had honed the writing to suit the actors playing them, and the journalist's character was a laid-back hippie type which suited Jack, while mine was volatile and edgy. I could course kicked back on the change and brought up what John had said about Jack's performance in PETERSEN.
"Yes I know," said John. "But we have to cash in on his publicity."
I took the project away.
Foolish I know, but it was a stand against the bullshit that permeates and controls this business. But it did leave me having to sell in to other avenues. A project that did not prove easy. My profile as an actor not helping at all, as in those days, one was never allowed to differentiate and most comments regarding the script were negative and downright insulting, with one coming from a highly respected assessor that was just plain bitchy. "Inside every stuntman is a genius trying to get out," was insultingly written.
It was the straw that broke my back, and after years of negativity I decided to take the project overseas.
I reached London in early 1978, selected a literary agent from the thousands in the phone book, knocked up an introductory letter and mailed the manuscript to them. When I went across to Europe and ended up at the Cannes Film Festival. While there I met John Sainken, a movie producer from Western Australia who had heard about REFLEX, and asked if he could read the script. I had one copy with me and gave it to him to take back to his hotel.
He came to me first thing in the morning and said "Being new to this business, I know I am supposed to knock back twenty scripts before I even consider one, but I'd really love to make your film."
Although flattered, I was reluctant to sell as I had my mind made up to make the film with an international company, so I put John on hold, and that very day while strolling the promenade with an Italian actor of whom I had made an acquaintance, a maroon Rolls Royce pulled up and a couple of what appeared to be Italian gangsters leaped out and bombarded my compatriot with questions.
"They want to know if you're American," my friend informed.
Now I must admit I was wearing my uniform of buckskin trousers, Cuban heeled boots, cowboy hat and illustrated shirt. But I replied almost indignantly.
"No, I'm Australian."
The word was carried back to the car and a rotund well-dressed gentleman climbed from it and my Italian friend stiffened. "My God," he said. "It's Sergio Leone."
I was equally weak kneed because I had, only days previous, thumbed through the massive tome of Rome's phone book looking for Sergio's number as I thought REFLEX may be of interest to him.
"They tell me you're an Australian,: he asked in a broad American accent.
"That's right, and you know what?" I said rather cheekily. "I've been scouring Rome looking for you."
By then, the motorcycle and motor vehicle-conveyed paparazzi following the Roller dismounted and disembarked and surrounded us. Of course they thought I must have been a star wearing the outrageous clothes that I was, and now with Sergio talking to me, well that clinched the deal.
Likewise Sergio, who must have forgotten for a brief moment that he was prime fodder and thought, for some reason, that I must have been the lens men's subject of choice and gripped my hand with one of his and threw the other around my shoulder where we posed unashamedly while we told each other lies.
His parting words as he climbed back into the Roller and handed me his card were "Send me the details."
Of course he was referring to REFLEX, of which I had given him a quick sell in amongst the flashing bulbs and shouted instructions from the pap.

I returned to England and rang the literary agent. His secretary answered and when I introduced myself she said "Mister Ward, where have you been, Mister Lowe is dying to see you."
I was convinced it was a manner of mistaken identity but no, the agent definitely wanted to see me.
I went to his office, he locked the door, picked up the phone and muttered to his secretary "No interruptions". He then turned to me and said "Mr. Ward, this is the best thing I've ever read, what are your going to do with it?"
Despite not believing what I was hearing I told him I intended to take it to the States to sell.
"I'll do that," he said. He would also follow up on the lead Sergio had given me.
I told Robin I would precede him to the States to arrange interviews and meetings with the stars of the day.
I can't remember them all, but I do remember Sylvester Stallone was one of them. Jeff Wald, his manager at the time, told me "You know, Sly will want to re-write the script."
"He hasn't even read it."
"He'll still want to re-write."
Nick Nolte, who had just come from a very successful television career, wanted to get into movies but had a few clauses that he laid before me.
"I can't touch it if it's a war movie."
"It is, but he's not a soldier."
"Okay I can do that, but no love story."
"There is love, but your character is incapable of love. His head is too fucked up to love."
"That's fine," and so it went on. Everything the film was, Nick couldn't initially do, but in the end he was rearing to go.
I also spoke to Allan Ladd Junior, an up and coming producer who was keen to come on board. In fact that only knock back I got was from Clint Eastwood, who refused point blank to even discuss.
Even Lee Marvin, who was probably too old for the part, was prepared to talk, but he wanted me to fly to Nevada and meet him at an airport lounge and then fly out again. I decided he was too old, despite my eagerness to meet him.
Meantime I was getting angrier and angrier with Robin Lowe, who was still in London and had missed all of the preliminary meetings, and in exasperation I rang him and asked "Are you still representing me?"
"Of course I am. I'll be there eventually. Leave it all to me."
I had spent almost a year traveling by then and had spent a small fortune with, so far, no return, so I decided to leave it in Robin's hands and began a long and protracted journey home. Firstly I went to San Francisco, then Hawaii, American Samoa, Samoa, Fiji, New Caledonia and then Sydney. It took me three months to reach my shores and with each and every new destination my address was telegraphed to Robin.
Not once in all of that time did I hear from him, so when I saw John Sainkin waving from the sidelines when I landed at Sydney airport I knew I had won. We flew to his home town of Perth where he had a contract for the script arranged. I at least knew the money that I had spent over the past twelve months would be returned, although there was not enough to compensate for the years of writing and research that had gone into the script. That night, when I returned to my Perth hotel, I found a telegram had been thrust beneath the door. It had been forwarded from my Sydney home. "Have deal with MGM, return to LA immediately." It was from Robin. I collapsed on the bed in both joy and anger. Because the film now belonged to Sainken, but at least it would be made by a company of worth.
John was delighted and even though I could not face another sojourn in the States, I was surprised when he indicated there was no need for me to go, that he would attend the meeting and take over where I had left off.
Relieved and feeling very tired, I went to Mother's house in South Australia and just sat around. I painted her house. I did the gardening. I wandered the old and familiar streets, but each and every day I checked the mail box.
There was never any mail.
After three months of uncertainty and now suspicion, I rang Sainken in Perth.
"How did the meeting with MGM go," I asked.
"I didn't go."
"Why the hell not?"
"I bought another nightclub, it took up all of my time. Never mind, we'll make REFLEX, but we'll make it over here."
Again I took the project away from a would-be producer and again I returned to the thankless task of producing the work myself.
I began negotiations with George Miller, whom I had worked with on MAD MAX. He was interested, but having felt the brunt of frsutrations with the let-downs I had, and obviously sick of hearing my final demands, he said "If I do REFLEX and you decide you want Frank Sinatra in the lead, well, let me tell you now, that if I don't want Sinatra, you don't get Sinatra."
Point taken, George.
I then employed Terry Bourke, a prolific producer and director of low budget straight-to-television films to do the budget. Of course he needed to read the script in order to create it, and after a couple of days he asked in a casual manner:
"Who do you have to direct?"
"George Miller."
Terry laughed. "George can't even direct traffic. I'll direct it for you."
"Thanks, Terry, but no, I need a proven International at the helm."
Terry flared up and told me what he would do with the project if he directed. Of course he had read and re-read the script and could see what I intended. Although he did elaborate even further on my ideas and he got me when my guard was down.
Within a week, I had signed yet another contract on REFLEX. Terry to direct and produce, myself to co-produce and star alongside Hugh Keays-Byrne.
"Of course we need to re-write the script." Terry said when the ink on the contract was hardly dried.
"No," I cried.
"Just a few elements, and we need to get away from Vietnam. There are so many movies being made about that joint, we'd be better to change it to Timor."
I really do get angry when, after working on a project and the characters within it for a number of years, someone like Terry, or as we mentioned earlier, Sly Stallone, come on board and have the audacity to order re-writes. After all, it was the original script that garnered their attention and caused them to come on board, but once there they feel the need to stamp it with their own.
With Terry, after just a month on the project, he claimed to know more about the characters, their motivations, their thought processes and the manner in which they spoke than the creator who had lived with them since inception. His attitude and arrogance caused endless shouting matches between us, and the basement garage that we used as an office became a battlefield, ultimately causing Terry to fling the 130 page script across the room and hit me in the chest and then cascade over the floor. "Take your piece of shit," he yelled at me in the ensuing silence. "See if any other idiot will agree to make it."
One has many options when something like that happens. I could have smacked him. I could have walked out. Or I could have picked up the script, stack it into a neat pile, place it on the desk and tell him to do it his way.
I took time to think of the consequences of what any of those actions may take. One thing was for sure, I could not begin the rounds again. So I took the latter stance, preceding it with "Take my name off the script." I then followed up with "Give me eighty grand." And finished off with "And you can do it your way." When the grin of achievement and satisfaction reached boiling point, I topped it off with "And I will fuck your wife."
He laughed like hell at that. Too high with achievement and success to even give the statement a second though.
Then he did all that I knew he would.
He re-wrote the script, conned an investor to pay me the nominated fee, used an actor who was completely unsuitable for the leading role and consequently made a shit movie that went straight to television.
The film owed me more than eighty grand for what I had spent in the previous twelve months. So the years of work have not been compensated. They will be though, as REFLEX is ready to go again. Set in the new millennium, it uses the conflict in the Middle East and is a bloody good read and is going to make one hell of a movie.
No one will fuck it up this time either, not even Terry because he's dead now. Although he has attempted to come back, this time through a medium, where he apologized and told me I was right all along.
Did he mean I was right to fuck his wife?
Because that is what I did; the very same day that the check was cleared.
The same day, in fact, that Terry re-printed the script without my name. Ten years of work relegated to the bin because of some other prick's ego.
Still, the erasure of my name was of my own choosing. So was the fucking of his wife. She was gorgeous by the way, but no replacement for my ten years of hard work.

Fearless (1978) - Videotape Swapshop Guest Review

2011-11-21T18:00:00.000-08:00

ed. - The guys (and gal) over at Videotape Swapshop have been doing a Eurocrime theme for the month of November, and so we got together and decided to do a little cross-promotion with each others' sites. I contributed a review of SUMMERTIME KILLER to their awesome site (which you can read here), and in return they sent me a review of FEARLESS (written by Mike), which stars one of the actors whose name became synonymous with Eurocrime - Maurizio Merli. Enjoy.

Fearless – 1978 / Director: Stelvio Massi

By 1978, the well coiffured genre actor Maurizio Merli had successfully scaled the domestic heights of the Italian crime cycle. Having effectively punctured the bloated accusations that he was simply a Franco Nero surrogate (their appearances were startlingly alike), Merli had, in his own right, become a significant poliziotteschi presence…
The aggressive, reactionary politic of Marino Girolami’s Roma Violenta (1975) and the hyperbole of Italia a mano armata (1976), coupled with the able direction of Umberto Lenzi in Napoli Violenta (1976) and Il cinico, l’infame, il violento (1977) had gone some way to define Merli as a hard boiled, violent, lawman with a distinctly vigilante approach to mete out justice.
Stelvio Massi’s curious effort Fearless (AKA Fearless Fuzz, AKA Magnum Cop AKA Poliziotto senza paura), then, was an interesting next step for the actor – a notable departure that bravely eschewed the typical Eurocrime mechanisms and the guaranteed domestic box office that came with them, in favour of something altogether more outré.

Private eye, Wally Spada isn’t having much success in Rome. He spends his days waiting for clients and playing darts with his partner Vinnie (Massimo Vanni), but things seem to look brighter for Wally when he is finally hired by a wealthy Viennese banker to find his kidnapped daughter. As the trail leads him from Italy to Austria, Wally encounters deadly danger, the seductive stripper Brigitte (Joan Collins), and a sinister conspiracy involving the prostitution of young girls…

Perhaps it shouldn’t come as a surprise that Massi’s film is decidedly leftfield in context of the Italian crime canon. For all the Mark the Narc’s of Massi’s directorial output, there was Emergency Squad (1974), a crime picture that dealt less with frantic car chases and blazing shoot outs to focus instead on the characterization of its cast. Later on in his career, the filmmaker demonstrated a willingness to work outside the confines of Eurocentric crime with Black Cobra (1987), a film that added overt Blaxploitation tones to Massi’s ouvre.

Fearless marks an intriguingly separatist approach to Stelvio Massi’s contribution to the genre, one now at the crepuscolo phase of its cycle, and does so in a number of interesting ways…

First, there is the film’s opening title sequence. Hazily edited with a succession of clips from the subsequent action and in accompaniment with Massi’s longtime collaborator, Stelvio Cipriani’s throwaway theme, it plays out like a hastily put together botch job – redolent of a failed TV pilot intro – a stylistic approach that grates with the unfurling tone of the film itself.

Most significantly, there is the odd switch in tone that comes with the films move from Italy to Austria. The first quarter of Fearless, set in Rome, is best described as referential schtick.. Massi might begin his picture in true Eurocrime style – a super slow motion kidnap attempt by thugs dressed in balaclava’s and brandishing firearms that are foiled by the foliage lurking Merli who hops out and takes well some aimed shots, but from here on in, for the first 20 minutes at least, Fearless has something of an unusually mirthic flavour to it. Wally frequently uses a tired telephone gag (with no-one on the other end) to dupe the police and rival private detectives, he bursts in on a fat old lady having it away with a scrawny weasel and lounges around in his apartment (adorned with movie posters featuring Robert Mitchum and Paul Newman in The Mackintosh Man). His partner Vinnie takes the notion of pastiche one step further with an odd nod to Taxi Driver when he does his best Travis Bickle impersonation.

Almost as soon as Merli has departed for Austria though, to begin his investigation, the film adopts an altogether more dour and serious approach. Against type, Merli is quickly set upon by the bad guys, chased and beaten with little opportunity to fight back. Indestructible in previous roles, the actor here is vulnerable, frightened and cautious. Moreover the subject matter – dealing with a child prostitution ring leaves little room for the previous comedy. The seedy world of Viennese strip joints and the equally seedy people who populate them become the central focus and the innocent victims of this world are brutally dealt with in a truly shocking manner. Here, in Fearless, the familiar concerns Maurizio Merli has for the welfare of children (see Italia a mano armata, Napoli Violenta et al) are retained, though crucially resolved, in a depressingly downbeat fashion…

Whereas in Emergency Squad, Massi had turned the volume down on the flamboyant and expressive Tomas Milian – transforming him into a sullen, monosyllabic sulk). Merli, typically austere in emotional range, is directed here in amplification. His final acts, at the film’s climax and upon revelation of the horrible truth, are especially dramatic and stand well apart from the bulk of his performances mustered in other features.

Elsewhere, Gastone Moschin is barely recognizable from his career defining role as Ugo Piazza in Milano Calibro 9, and adds a touch of humour to proceedings as the straight laced Viennese private eye, and Joan Collins is perfectly cast as the Ice Maiden Brigitte, a complex femme fatale who balances love interest duties with total villainary.

Ultimately though, Fearless is a frustration. Whilst it clearly plays with the boundaries of the Eurocrime cycles, it teems with ideas that don’t translate particularly well to film.
Best enjoyed by genre fans as an appendix in the development of polizio, Fearless is an interesting, though flawed, piece of work from one of the genuine Italian Genre Auteurs…

The Italian Connection (1972)

2011-11-20T19:03:00.001-08:00

Directed by Fernando Di Leo. Starring Mario Adorf ("Luca Canali"), Henry Silva ("Dave Catania"), Woody Strode ("Frank Webster"), and Adolfo Celi ("Don Vito Tressoldi"). Not Rated.

Source: Region 1 DVD (Raro)
Running time: 01:35:41
Country: Italy

A shipment of heroin goes missing somewhere between Italy and New York City, and so the "Italian connection", Don Vito, blames it on a small-time pimp named Luca Canali (Mario Adorf). Meanwhile, a couple of hitmen (Henry Silva and Woody Strode) are dispatched from New York to find Luca in Italy and "kill him in the most brutal way possible", but Don Vito wants his men to eliminate Luca before the American hitmen find them, with hopes that they won't find out he's the wrong person. Basically, Luca Canali is a sitting duck who finds himself in a situation where everyone's trying to kill him and he's not sure why, and by the time he does find out what's going on, tragic circumstances will have already made it personal.

THE ITALIAN CONNECTION (also known as MANHUNT) came out the same year as director Fernando Di Leo's CALIBER 9, so I'm not sure if it's the first or second film in his Milieu Trilogy. Whatever the case, Mario Adorf, who played a scumbag in CALIBER 9, plays the anti-hero in this particular film. Despite him being a pimp and someone who occasionally abuses women, the film tries its hardest to make Adorf's character someone you can sympathize with. Based on reviews that I've read (and heard), it's quite easy for a lot of people to overlook Luca Canali's profession and accept him as the "good guy", mostly because of Adorf's emotional performance, but also because of certain scenes in the film that portray him as having a heart and genuinely being a good person who simply does what he does because, to a certain extent, he has to "hustle" in order to provide for himself and his family.

Being able to sympathize with the character of Luca Canali is crucial in regards to film's overall effect, but I for one was not able to invest too much of myself in the character, and thus didn't enjoy the film as much as I would have if the protagonist had been some working-class guy, or maybe even an anti-hero who was more along the lines of someone like Gastone Moschin's character in CALIBER 9. Make no mistake about it, though: Adorf is great in this film and the character development worked as far as establishing Luca Canali is a likable person, but I just personally wasn't very fond of him as the guy we're supposed to root for. Henry Silva and Woody Strode, on the other hand, are great as the American hitmen. I thoroughly their characters and thought they had outstanding chemistry, with Silva playing the party animal who enjoys the fringe benefits of his job, and Strode playing the more professional of the two who never drinks and rarely speaks.

Femi Benussi, who I recognize mostly from STRIP NUDE FOR YOUR KILLER, plays a prostitute named Nana and spends a decent amount of time in the film without any clothing on. She's also the first person I've ever seen in any film on the receiving end of torture by way of nipple-pinching. Something else worth mentioning is Luca Canali's signature headbutt, which is his preferred method of attacking someone. At one point, Luca even destroys an inanimate object with his patented headbutt. Finally, there's a lot of the hippie, free-love aesthetic in this film, which I found to be pretty annoying.

I've only seen one other Fernando Di Leo film besides this, so I don't have a lot to work with as far as making comparisons, but I can say that this one isn't as politically and socially-minded as CALIBER 9, and it's more of a straight-forward crime film with a revenge angle that comes into play towards the back end. One thing that Di Leo has proven with the two films of his that I've seen is that he understands pacing. THE ITALIAN CONNECTION isn't a fast-paced movie per se, but Di Leo keeps the story moving along rather smoothly. There isn't much fat to speak of when it comes to the content. Aside from that, there's an impressive car chase scene in the film once the revenge angle kicks in, and the climactic shootout, which takes place in a junkyard, is also well-done. As I said before, though, I couldn't really get behind Mario Adorf's character that much, and while it's good, ITALIAN CONNECTION didn't particularly stand out for me.

Score: 6.5

Atrocious (2010)

2011-11-20T00:04:00.000-08:00

Directed by Fernando Barreda Luna. Starring Cristian Valencia ("Cristian"), Clara Moraleda ("July"), Chus Pereiro ("Debora"), and Sergi Martin ("Jose"). Rated R.

Source: Region 1 DVD (Bloody Disgusting/Viviendi)
Running time: 01:13:35
Country: Spain, Mexico

A family takes a trip out to the country for the holidays, where they stay at an old house that's been abandoned for about a decade. The two oldest siblings, Cristian and July, spend their free time playing with high-tech camera equipment and investigating urban legends. Luckily for them, there's an urban legend about a ghostly little girl who dwells in the woods surrounding the house they're staying in. Seeing as ATROCIOUS is a found-footage horror movie, I'm sure you can take a wild guess as to how the rest of the story goes.

As much as I love found-footage horror, I always find myself being very critical of these films and questioning everything. Am I just too jaded a horror fan to accept them for what they are? For example, what we see in ATROCIOUS is supposedly compiled from over thirty hours of video that was found at a crime scene, but yet whoever edited everything together decided to incorporate footage of: A) the family on their road trip, B) the siblings goofing around, and C) the siblings walking around in the woods during the day, presumably getting a better feel of the area and prepping for the inevitable nighttime shoot. Yes, I understand that found-footage horror movies are supposed to be presented with as much of a narrative as possible and include things like character development, exposition, and creating a context for what ultimately happens in the film, but questioning those things will always be a bad habit of mine that I won't be able to shake. But, as far as the found-footage shaky-cam style being used in ATROCIOUS for a cinematic effect? Exceptional.

A majority of ATROCIOUS is devoid of scares, with very minimal evidence of the supposed urban legend bearing any truth and limited to things like strange noises in the night, dishes mysteriously breaking when no one's around, and so forth - all of which could be explained logically. The good shit is saved for the end, and by good shit I mean the sort of things you'd come to expect from a found-footage horror: the typical night-vision footage, lots of screaming and heavy breathing, and glimpses of what we're led to believe is some sort of boogeyman. Fortunately, seeing as ATROCIOUS is only seventy-minutes long, those looking for the pay-off won't have to wait very long. And it's not to say that everything leading up to the climax is uneventful either; the uncertainty as to what's supposedly lurking in the woods is just as unsettling as actually seeing it.

While everyone in the cast was pretty good and the teens were surprisingly not unlikable, the real star of the show is the outdoor location that they shot the film in: the woods. Even if the woods in the film weren't literally referred to as such by the characters, a "labyrinth" would be one of the first things that comes to mind when seeing how the trees are set up. Every path looks the same and it's evidently easy to get lost in, which comes into play with the whole urban legend that the teens are investigating (if you get lost in the woods at night, the female apparition will make her presence known). The exterior is legitimately creepy - even during broad daylight. In general, the editing is also one of the better aspects of the film; it's a bit much for a found-footage movie, but it's effective.

Without getting into details, I'll just say that the twist at the end didn't sit too well with me, but at the same time it didn't completely ruin the film. My problem with the twist wasn't necessarily the revelation, but rather how the movie really goes out of its way to explain everything to you. Aside from that (and even that's not a big complaint), I found ATROCIOUS to be a pretty solid and fun little horror movie. Tense, creepy, unsettling, and a quick enjoyable watch.

Score: 6.5

Reader's Choice: Caliber 9 (1972)

2011-11-19T00:50:00.000-08:00

Directed by Fernando Di Leo. Starring Gastone Moschin ("Ugo Piazza"), Barbara Bouchet ("Nelly Bordon"), Mario Adorf ("Rocco Musco"), and Frank Wolff ("Police Commissioner"). Not Rated.

Source: Region 1 DVD (Raro)
Running time: 01:41:20
Country: Italy

Picked by Neil Fulwood

Released from prison after serving a three-year sentence, a former thief named Ugo Piazza is hassled by a former colleague, Rocco, regarding $300,000 of the mob's money that he allegedly stole and stashed somewhere prior to getting locked up. He's pursused by the mafia despite constantly denying knowledge of the missing loot's whereabouts, and it gets to the point where he's basically forced to start working for them and partake in a money-trafficking operation. Meanwhile, Ugo gets reacquainted with an old flame, Nelly, and is harassed by a police commissoner who wants to use him as bait take down an elusive mobster known as "The Americano".

CALIBER 9 (also known as MILANO CALIBRO 9) is the first in a trilogy of films directed by Fernando Di Leo, who's regarded as one of the better filmmakers to have tackled the Eurocrime genre. The "Milieu Trilogy" has been on my must-see list for a while now, and I can at least speak for this film in particular when I say that it didn't let me down in the slightest. It's not a Eurocrime film with an overt amount of sleaze or shock value, nor is it one that relies too heavily on the conventions of the genre; CALIBER 9 is a character-driven film with a solid plot that's never overshadowed by the film's very blatant political and social commentary. Extremely hard to follow if you're not giving it your undivided attention, but ultimately rewarding - if anything for the final twenty or so minutes when there are twists at every corner. And, lest we forget, Babs Bouchet belly-dancing.

The film has a solid opening in which some of the mafia characters (Rocco in particular, who's played wonderfully by Mario Adorf) are established rather bluntly. A discreet exchange of money goes wrong, and so Rocco and his henchmen (one of whom spits on a pidgeon!) find those involved and deal with them accordingly. And they don't just execute them, mind you, but they beat the shit out of them, take them all to a cave, and blow them up with dynamite. The criminals don't exactly keep up the streak of mean-spirited behavior throughout the film, but it simply gets the message across that these are people you don't wanna cross.

The main character, Ugo, is really easy to get behind despite him essentially being a criminal, and he seems to be a prototype for many of the action movie anti-heroes who have appeared in cinema since, although it's probably not the case. In fact, calling him an "anti-hero" wouldn't exactly be fair since he does make an attempt to go straight in the film and avoid confrontation at all costs. One of the reasons he's easy likable is because he's a human punching bag for everyone in the film (literally and figuratively) and he's portrayed as an underdog, which is ironic since it's later revealed that he actually has the upper-hand on everyone around him. That, combined with the fact that actor Gastone Moschin has a great look and plays his character well.

Some of the political and social commentary may go over your head, but the clashing of left-wing and right-wing ideals that are addressed in the film is something that most adults can relate to - Luigi Pistilli's character, Inspector Mercuri, representing the "Left" (odd seeing Pistilli play a sympathetic character) and the hard-nosed Police Commissioner representing the "Right". Furthermore, this is a film that you really have to pay attention to, because a lot of the dialogue in the film is crucial in regards to getting a better understanding of the statements and commentaries that are made, as well as the plot and character development in general. CALIBER 9 doesn't go out of its way to spell everything out for you, which is something I appreciate.

Overall, CALIBER 9 is a solid movie with one of my favorite Eurocrime anti-hero/protagonists that I've seen thus far. Not the most stylish Eurocrime movie, but inherently gorgeous, simply because it's shot in Italty. Mario Adorf is memorable as Rocco, and Barabara Bouchet looks as stunning as in anything else I've seen her in and has just the right amount of screen time given that she doesn't initially play an important role in the plot, but it's Gastone Moschin who really makes this film, in my opinion. Admittedly a little challenging for me to get into for the most part, but the final act of the film is absolutely compelling.

Score: 7.5

Revenge of the Ninja (1983)

2011-11-18T18:25:00.001-08:00

Directed by Sam Firstenberg. Starring Sho Kosugi ("Cho Osaki"), Keith Vitali ("Dave Hatchet"), Virgil Frye ("Lieutenant Dire"), and Arthur Roberts ("Braden"). Rated R.

Source: Region 1 DVD (MGM)
Running time: 01:30:06
Country: USA

As most fans of genre cinema are concerned, when the word "ninja" is brought up, two names usually come to mind: Godfrey Ho and Sho Kosugi. Godfrey Ho is an exploitation director who's pretty much the reigning king of Ninjasploitation, and Sho Kosugi is an actor who basically made a career out of starring in ninja movies. While Ho has absolutely nothing to do with this film, REVENGE OF THE NINJA is probably the most well-known of Kosugi's ninja films, and it's also the first in an infamous trilogy of ninja films that were released by the almighty Cannon back in the 80's.

Kosugi plays Cho Osaki - a former ninja who takes his mother and son, Kane (played by Sho Kosugi's real-life son), and moves to America after the rest of his family are ambushed and killed by the most pathetic group of ninjas I have ever seen. While in America, he hooks up with an art dealer, Braden, and the two open up a gallery that sells Japanese dolls. Cho apparently runs a dojo as well, but the only people that we see training there are his young son and a blonde woman named Cathy, who's the kinda-sorta love interest. It's revealed that Braden smuggles heroin inside of the dolls and sells him to his clients behind Cho's back. When a mobster screws Braden on a heroin deal, the unassuming middle-aged white man suddenly assumes the role of an evil ninja (identifiable by his silver demon-mask) and targets the Italians.

For reasons that needn't necessarily be mentioned, Kane is kidnapped by Braden, and so Cho reluctantly comes out ninja-retirement to battle Braden and reclaim his son, building up to a lengthy rooftop ninja battle with backflips and smoke-bombs galore.

Other than some expositional dialogue in which Cho states that he and Braden trained together at some point, it's never really made clear as to how or why someone with seemingly no martial arts background whatsoever is apparently well-trained in the way of the ninja. Normally I'd be slightly annoyed by something like this, but REVENGE OF THE NINJA is so fucking entertaining that it's quite easy to overlook how much of a required suspension of disbelief there is for this film - and not just in regards to Braden's character, but in regards to pretty much every single aspect of the film.

What's amazing about REVENGE OF THE NINJA is that despite how absolutely ridiculous it is, I'm convinced that the people behind the film took it completely seriously while making it. I'm sure anyone who makes a film obviously takes it seriously to a certain extent (unless you're the moron who made BIRDEMIC), but, for example, this film features some of the most over-the-top bad guys, thugs, and henchmen I've ever seen in my life, but they're portrayed without much irony or humor. It's like someone legitimately thought it would be a good idea to have a stereotypical pig-tailed Native American in moccasins working as a henchman for the mob, and that's one of the reasons I'm head over heels in love with this movie.

On a serious note, this movie delivers everything you would expect from it, and then some. It wastes no time getting right down to the ninja action instead of teasing you and saving all the good shit for the end. Like another Cannon film I reviewed recently, INVASION U.S.A., this one is pretty much non-stop ridiculousness from start to finish. In the action department, the highlight for me was a fight scene that takes place in the back of a moving van and involves a nasty-looking stunt in which someone is thrown from the back of the van as it's being driven. I'd honestly be shocked to find out that the stuntman who took the aforementioned bump out of the van didn't crack his skull open. Another highlight of the film is a fight scene that takes place in a playground, involving Cho, a Karate-fighting cop, and the most unlikely group of allies: a black man in rollerskates, an effeminate cowboy, a Polynesian biker, and some guy who looks like the love child of Zangief and E. Honda from the Street Fighter video game. Speaking of which, pretty much every villain in this movie looks like a second-rate Street Fighter mini-boss.

I could go on and on about how awesome this movie is. I didn't even mention the fight scene involving Braden and Cho's mom! Or, the fact that Ashley Ferrare, who played Cathy and only made one other film the following year before disappearing from the face of the Earth, is unintentionally hilarious anytime she's on screen and is worth the price of admission alone. REVENGE OF THE NINJA is also an educational film. Did you know that a ninja star to someone's eye can automatically kill them? Did you know that a ninja isn't above killing you in a public restroom in broad daylight? Did you know that it's apparently OK for Asians to refer to themselves as "Orientals"? I'm literally a smarter man now that I've seen this movie. Thanks, REVENGE OF THE NINJA.

Score: 7

Reader's Choice: Almost Human (1974)

2011-11-15T23:40:00.000-08:00

Directed by Umberto Lenzi. Starring Tomas Milian ("Giulio Sacchi"), Henry Silva ("Commissario Walter Grandi"), Laura Belli ("Marilu Porrino"), and Gino Santercole ("Vittorio"). Rated R.

Source: Region 0 DVD (NoShame)
Running time: 01:39:16
Country: Italy

Picked by Matt-suzaka

A ruthless small-time criminal named Giulio goes on a killing spree, which attracts the attention of a hard-nosed inspector, played by Henry Silva. Tired of being broke and looking to make some quick cash, without much planning and with the help of his partners (one of whom is played by Ray Lovelock), Giulio eventually kidnaps the 20-something daughter of a local billionaire who Giulio's fuck-buddy (Anita Strindberg) works for as a secretary. ALMOST HUMAN goes back and forth between the police procedural aspect involving Silva's character and the Milan police and the whole kidnapping storyline involving Giulio and his lackeys. At a certain point, there's a brutal home invasion scene in which Giulio and his boys get high on drugs and do some rather creative things to their hostages.

Originally titled Milano odia: la polizia non può sparare (which, according to Babelfish, translates to Milan hates: the police cannot talk nonsense), ALMOST HUMAN is one of the more notorious Eurocrime movies to have come out of Italy, and it's well-known for its over the top performance from Tomas Milian as Giulio, who's one of the more recognizable names and faces of 70's Italian genre cinema.

Prior to finally watching ALMOST HUMAN, it had been on my radar for a while and I'd heard great things about it from sources who are much more familiar with the Eurocrime genre than myself. Not to get ahead of myself, but unfortunately it didn't quite live up to the hype for me. However, one of the things that always stood whenever I'd hear people talk about the film was how crazy Tomas Milian's was, and in that respect it definitely met my expectations. Before I go on, I should probably describe Milian's character in the film. Giulio is loud and obnoxious, but at the same time he's charismatic and very much an alpha male. To me, Giulio comes across as someone who's not all there mentally. I'd go so far as to say that he's mildly retarded, or at the very least suffering from sort of hyperactivity disorder, and this is partly due to Giulio's actions and Milan's scenery-chewing performance.

Admittedly, I found ALMOST HUMAN to be kinda boring. Story-wise it's very by-the-numbers, and it reminded me a lot of BEAST WITH A GUN, and despite not being all that crazy about BEAST, I actually prefer it to this film. While the scenes of violence in the film were impressive, there weren't enough of them to break up the monotony of everything else that was going on, and in general I thought the pacing was pretty bad. Henry Silva is good in the film and provides an interesting contrast to Tomas Milian's character, but the outcome of their "relationship" was pretty disappointing. You'd think that the film would build up to a considerably violent confrontation between the two because of the type of characters they are, but it's not the case. To use a pro-wrestling term, the blow-off was a bit lackluster.

Don't get me wrong, ALMOST HUMAN is good and it's considered to be a favorite of many fans of the genre, but I personally just found it to be disappointing for a number of reasons. It's shot really well and the acting is pretty good all across the board. As a fan of sleaze, the home invasion scene was a nice surprise and easily the highlight of the film for me. Otherwise, it just wasn't what I wanted it to (and hoped it would) be. With a stronger story, ALMOST HUMAN would have left a much better impression on me, but I'd still recommend it to those who are curious.

Score: 6

Direct Contact (2009)

2011-11-13T21:20:00.000-08:00

Directed by Danny Lerner. Starring Dolph Lundgren ("Mike Riggins"), Gina May ("Ana Gale"), Michael Paré ("Clive Connelly"), and Bashar Rahal ("General Drago"). Rated R.

Source: Region 1 DVD (First Look)
Running time: 01:30:29
Country: USA, Germany

Mike (Dolph), a prisoner at the same Russian jail from UNDISPUTED II, is approached by a representative from the American Embassy, who gives him the opportunity to get his freedom back. It's initially unclear as to why Mike's in jail in the first place, but luckily the Embassy's "Attache", Vince (Michael Paré), fills the viewer in by dropping some seriously blatant expositional dialogue:

"The American government is a little reluctant to help an ex-Special Forces who gets himself locked up for smuggling weapons."

Hey, thanks for that, Vince. Anyway, Dolph's character is a bad-ass (big surprise), so the fact that someone's reaching out to him in particular and is willing to have him released from jail for a serious crime could only mean that Dolph needs to put his bad-assery to good use. Apparently a certain American citizen, Ana (Gina May), has been captured and held against her will by a "warlord", and Mike needs to go rescue her. Sounds simple enough. Turns out she's at some military camp, which Mike infiltrates, no problem. But when he attempts to take Ana out of there, she resists and even goes so far as to assault him. Confused, Mike needs to take a step back and re-assess the situation, which isn't easy to do since he's being attacked by a screaming woman, so he does what anyone in that situation would do and punches her in the stomach and hogties her.

Sooner than later, Mike and Ana split from the camp, but she's not happy about it. A chase through the nearby city ensues. Motorcycles, tanks (TANKS!), military vehicles, helicopters. For what I assume is a fairly low-budget movie, there's an awful lot of destruction during the chase scene. Impressive. Ana eventually calms down, and it's revealed that she was at the military camp voluntarily to help care for a sick child. Long story short, Vince isn't who he says he is, but unfortunately for Ana, Mike finds this out a little too late and ends up having to keep her out of harm's way from the man who initially hired him to scoop her up in the first place. Mike tames Ana with the power of sex (in a barn!), and anyone who's seen a fair amount of action movies should know how the rest goes.

Before

After

DIRECT CONTACT is directed by Danny Lerner, who's primarily a producer and writer. The only movies of his that I've seen prior to this are RAGING SHARKS and SHARKS IN VENICE - both of which are low-budget and as super-cheesy as their titles suggest, but they have a lot of charm despite their obvious flaws. And, like those films, DIRECT CONTACT has something magical about it that I can't describe. It's like Danny Lerner "gets it". He hits all the right beats in this film and delivers exactly what you'd expect, and he exploits the strengths of his resources while masking their weaknesses. He understands that, sometimes, character development and "drama" need to take a back seat to cars exploding.

Explosions going off before grenades even hit the ground, stuntmen overselling their injuries, and the biggest set-up for the most disappointing action movie catch-phrase ever are just a few of the things that make DIRECT CONTACT special. However, it's a certain death scene at the end of the film that seals the deal. I won't say who it is or explain the context of the scene, but I'll just say this: mid-air man-splosion. Among the highlights of the film, for me, are the three lead actors. Nothing needs to be said about Dolph, for obvious reasons. Michael Paré of STREETS OF FIRE fame is actually pretty good in this. Gina May, who unfortunately doesn't do much and hasn't starred in anything since, is absolutely adorable. While I won't be gearing up for another run of Dolph movies anytime soon, DIRECT CONTACT turned out to be a pleasant surprise and highly entertaining. As far as Dolph's newer straight-to-DVD movies, I'd put this up there with COMMAND PERFORMANCE as one of the film's I'd more than likely revisit sooner than later.

Score: 6.5

Violent City (1970)

2011-11-12T17:21:00.001-08:00

Directed by Sergio Sollima. Starring Charles Bronson ("Jeff Heston"), Telly Savalas ("Al Weber"), Jill Ireland ("Vanessa Shelton"), and Umberto Orsini ("Steve"). Rated R.

Source: Region 1 DVD (Anchor Bay)
Running time: 01:49:15
Country: Italy, France

Jeff (Charles Bronson) is a "professional" (a hitman) who's on the receiving end of a double-cross involving his girlfriend Vanessa (Bronson's real-life main squeeze, Jill Ireland) and a wealthy race car driver named Harry, who Jeff considered a friend. Jeff ends up in jail for reasons that I needn't get into, where he spends his time reflecting on the betrayal and no doubt plotting his revenge for when he gets out. Once he's finally released, however, things don't exactly turn out as planned. He immediately falls back in love with Vanessa, who proceeds to play mind games with him, and he finds that someone has put a contract on his head for whatever reason. Paranoia ensues? Yeah, I think that's about it.

If I had to sum up the deliberately-paced VIOLENT CITY as quickly as possible, the first thing that comes to mind would be that it's like a cross between THE MECHANIC and THE AMERICAN. Bronson plays the similar emotionally-reserved professional assasin in this as he did in THE MECHANIC, albeit not as cold and dedicated to his profession (he actually tries to walk away from the suggested organized crime lifstyle he led at one time in this film), and it's got the same subtle fish out of water feeling in this as in THE AMERICAN in regards to how the anti-hero is juxtaposed by both the exotic location and the people surrounding him; even though most of this movie was filmed in Louisiana, it has an inherently "foreign" atmosphere since it's an Italian production. Haven't seen THE MECHANIC or THE AMERICAN? Well, shit. You probably should.

The most noteworthy thing about VIOLENT CITY is how stylish it is. The movie opens with a very colorful James Bond-esque opening titles sequence in which Bronson and Ireland are portrayed as a somewhat powerful couple who are being watched from afar in a voyeuristic manner, presumably by someone who's spying on them through a camera lens. In general, VIOLENT CITY is gorgeously-shot and almost dreamlike at times, which really helps to make up for the fact that it's not the most exciting crime movie you'll ever see, although I like to think of it as more of a break-up film. I don't mind a good slow-burn type of movie every once in a while, but this film in particular is not something you wanna watch if you're deprived of sleep.

A tough-guy actor in his own right, Telly Savalas plays a mobster named Weber, who tries to recruit Bronson's character into his "family". According to director Sergio Sollima (REVOLVER), Bronson and Savalas, for whatever reason, never got along behind the scenes and stayed seperate during the production of the film, although this may be due to the fact that Bronson normally didn't say much and kept to himself anyway. While the on-screen pairing of Bronson and Savalas may be a draw for some people, it's the sub-plot involving Bronson and Jill Ireland that makes the film as interesting as it is, in my opinion.

Had Bronson's character stuck to the promise he apparently made to himself while in jail, he would have put a bullet in Ireland's head upon finding her after being released, but it ends up not being the case. Instead, he's unable to let go of the feelings he once had for her, and thus falls victim to her mind games once again as she basically leads him on and takes advantage of him. I really like the fact that Bronson's character is flawed in that respect. The inability to let go of a someone you love is something that a lot of guys can relate to, not matter how "macho" they may appear to be on the outside. It's one thing to keep pursuing someone after they make a decision to leave you (which, admittedly, I have been guilty of in the past), but it's another thing to be lied to and taken advantage of. The latter would best describe the situation of Bronson's character here, but it should be said that Bronson is very much aware of the fact he's being made a fool of by Ireland's character, which speaks volumes about the emotional vulnerabilities of Bronson's character.

VIOLENT CITY isn't your typical Eurocrime movie, and in fact I wouldn't even label it as being a part of the genre, personally. As I said earlier, it's a very slow but stylish film, and definitely not something you wanna watch if you're tired, but I have confidence in saying that watching this film will prove to be a rewarding experience if you can invest yourself in it. The film's finale in particular, which sees a drastic character arc for Bronson, is pretty amazing.

Score: 6.5

Invasion U.S.A. (1985)

2011-11-11T02:36:00.000-08:00

Directed by Joseph Zito. Starring Chuck Norris ("Matt Hunter"), Richard Lynch ("Rostov"), Melissa Prophet ("McGuire"), and Alexander Zale ("Nikko"). Rated R.

Source: Region 1 DVD (MGM)
Running time: 01:47:30
Country: USA

It's Chuck Norris versus Richard Lynch in what is easily one of the most insane action movies I've ever seen. Directed by Joseph Zito (FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE FINAL CHAPTER!) INVASION U.S.A. epitomizes, to me, what the "hairy macho bullshit" is all about, and, in my opinion, it epitomizes over the top 80's action. Bold statement, but this movie is absolutely relentless from start to finish, displaying one utterly ridiculous action set-piece after another. Exposition? Character development? You get both of those, but you get them as people are being blown to smithereens by bazookas and shot to shit by uzis. I'm sure a lot of you reading this have already seen this movie, but to those who haven't: trust me when I say that this movie does not fuck around.

Richard Lynch plays a Russian named Rostov, who leads an ethnically-diverse group of terrorists, seemingly from varying parts of the world. It's like they're the United Nations of terrorists and Richard Lynch is their commander in chief. Of all places, they decide to invade the Florida keys Normandy-style. From then on, it's an all-out relentless attack on anyone and everyone as Rostov oversees the pandemonium, but they hit a bearded, tight-jeaned roadblock in the form of Matt Hunter (Chuck Norris) - a former special agent who comes out of retirement to stop the terrorist attacks. It's revealed that Hunter and Rostov have a history together, which isn't really worth talking about, but it's just one of those things that comes into play as the story unfolds and adds a "personal" element to the feud between Norris and Lynch's characters.

One of the areas where INVASION U.S.A. succeeds is its pacing. As I alluded to earlier, this movie is pretty much non-stop action from start to finish, with a few brief pauses to develop the plot and establish characters, but mostly to set up the next ludicrous set-piece. The movie opens with a boat full of Cuban immigrants being blown to pieces by machine guns, and the film literally ends with a shot of Chuck Norris mere seconds after he kills someone before the smoke has even settled. In the meantime, we get shootouts in shopping malls full of people and a white upper middle-class neighborhood being blown up by a bazooka as families are decorating Christmas trees! I mean, seriously, did Neveldine and Taylor somehow travel back in time and make this?

They say every good hero needs a villain. Luckily for Chuck Norris, Richard Lynch plays one nasty son of a bitch in this. Old people? Women? Children? People seeking shelter from terrorist attacks in a church? No one's safe in this movie, be it from Rostov himself or the hundreds of terrorists who follow his command, and I love that. I don't remember where, but I heard someone say recently that true evil is measured not by what someone possesses, but by what someone lacks; to be evil is to be completely oblivious to morals, and I don't mean being aware of morals and disregarding them, but rather to be delusional and believe that what you're doing is right. Keeping that in mind makes me looks at villains in a new perspective and be much more aware of the psychology behind the characters. That being said, Rostov (who's played wonderfully by Lynch) is undeniably evil, for reasons that are obvious when you watch the film. He also has these strange quirks, like shooting people in the dick. Not once, but twice, Rostov sticks his gun down someone's pants and pulls the trigger - repeatedly. My favorite Rostov kill in the film is when he throws a woman out of a window. He had a gun, mind you, and could have easily shot her and been done with it, but no. He makes the conscious decision to grab a certain female character and throw her out of a fucking window. Amazing.

While I'm on the subject of the film's characters, there's this female photographer who keeps popping up in the film, either trying to snap photos in the midst of shootouts or tagging along with Chuck Norris (who she always refers to as "Cowboy"). For some reason, they decided to make this female character one of the most obnoxious non-villains to ever grace the screen, and I'm not exaggerating when I say that. This chick literally has no purpose in the film, and every time you see her she's being a total bitch. "Why is she so goddamn mean?", I wrote down in my notes as I watched the film. Chuck Norris saves her life at one point, and she responds by throwing a trash can lid at him and calling him a "creep". Really? And the strange thing about this? She has no character arc whatsoever. She's a cunt the entire time. Oh, how I wish she would have gotten tagged by a stray bullet.

And speaking of stupid characters, it's like all of the civilian characters in the film had no concept of danger. You'd think that a shootout in a public place would be a cue for everyone to leave, but in one case a truck (that just drove through a shopping mall and came screeching out into the parking lot after crashing though glass doors, mind you) obviously being driven by a terrorist hits someone's car, so the car's owner (a woman) tries to confront the terrorist and ends up being dragged down the freeway by her fucking hair - during a high-speed chase!

I could seriously go on and on about how insane this movie is, but hopefully I've painted enough of a picture for all of you who haven't seen this movie to kinda get the idea. Chuck Norris is as uncharismatic as usual, but who cares. As expected, he's an unstoppable killing machine who comes out of everything unscathed. Billy Drago appears very briefly, but I'd be remiss not to mention him. For the short amount of time he's on screen, Drago sleazes up the fucking joint. In my opinion, though, Richard Lynch as Rostov was the standout, which is why he gets the main screenshot treatment in this review as opposed to Norris. If I were to rate this movie based on how crazy it is, I'd easily give it a 9/10, but seeing as I have tendency to be very critical, I gotta calls it like I sees it. Yes, INVASION U.S.A. is incredibly violent, it's paced well, and Richard Lynch is great in it, but that's about it. Plot, script, score - nothing exceptional. Style and originality? Non-existent. It's a very bare-bones, to-the-point film. Still, though, I can't recommend this movie highly enough. I may as well just quit reviewing films for the rest of the month now that I've seen this.

Score: 7

Deadbeat at Dawn (1988)

2011-11-07T18:09:00.000-08:00

Directed by Jim VanBebber. Starring Paul Harper ("Danny"), Jim VanBebber ("Goose"), Megan Murphy ("Christy"), and Ric Walker ("Keith"). Not Rated.

Source: Region 1 DVD (Dark Sky)
Running time: 01:20:32
Country: USA

DEADBEAT AT DAWN is a gritty independent cult film that follows a former gang leader (played by director Jim VanBebber) as he attempts to distance himself from the violent world he's immersed himself in, but is drawn back to the streets due to tragic circumstances, nunchucks a-swingin'.

Goose is the leader of a street gang known as the Ravens. The attempted rape of his main squeeze, Christy, early in the film lead to a showdown in a cemetery as members of both the Ravens and their rivals, the Spiders, look on while their respective leaders engage in a knife fight, which ultimately sees Goose coming out on top. As Goose stands victorious over his foe, he exclaims "Fuck your noise!" For some reason, both Goose and the leader of the Spider's, Danny, show up to the cemetery wearing masks (the former in a Lone Ranger mask and the latter in a weird-looking Batman mask), but they quickly remove them right before the shit goes down. Not sure what the point behind the masks was, but it's one of the things that makes this film so amazing - the WTF factor and the notion that VanBebber and crew attempted to use anything (and everything) they could for the film, be it props, costumes, etc.

Christy (who dabbles in black magic and plays with Ouija boards, by the way) has apparently grown tired of Goose's gang lifestyle, but you wouldn't be able to tell it considering how orgasmic she looked while watching her man kicking Danny's ass in the cemetery. Anyway, she begs Goose to quite the gang, but he ain't havin' it. "I gotta find out what the word on the street is", he says before turning his back on Christy and slamming the door behind him. I guess by "finding out what the word on the street is" he meant knife-throwing and nunchuck practice in the cemetery, because that's exactly what he does in a training montage of sorts, which even includes Goose practicing his signature roundhouse kicks on tree branches. Goose then hops over the cemetery fence, cracks some random guy over the head with his nunchucks, steals his motorcycle, picks up Christy, quits the gang, and they all live happily ever after.

Well, that last part was a lie.

Looking to get some payback for his cemetery ass-whooping, Danny sends two of his henchmen, Bone Crusher and Stubby, over to Goose's apartment to pay him a visit. Goose just so happens to be out selling drugs, so they break into the apartment and beat Christy to death before disemboweling her. Goose later returns and is obviously distraught, so he throws her body in a trash compactor and ultimately descends into a world of booze and depression. The film then basically focuses on Goose as he's pulled out of the gutter by a member of his old gang, and it builds to an inevitable showdown between Goose and the dastardly Danny.

I know I just pretty broke down most of the movie for you, but DEADBEAT AT DAWN is all about the journey that its lead character is on, and I feel the only way I can do this movie justice is by giving you a better idea of Goose's journey and talk about all of the insane shit that happens in the meantime. This is an extremely low budget film, and it's comparable to something that would be produced by student filmmakers with big aspirations, big ideas, and no resources. But yet, despite its flaws, DEADBEAT AT DAWN has more heart than films with a thousand times its budget, and I'd easily put it up there with the first EVIL DEAD (amongst other films that I can't think of right now) as essential examples of DIY cinema. Aside from some background actors who ham it up and really downplay what could have been a solid attempt at a bare-bones exploitation/action movie, as well as some overall pacing issues, DEADBEAT AT DAWN is about as close as a movie of this type can get to being a bloodsoaked indie masterpiece.

Score: 6.5

Sabata (1969)

2011-11-06T18:54:00.000-08:00

Directed by Gianfranco Parolini. Starring Lee Van Cleef ("Sabata"), William Berger ("Banjo"), Ignazio Spalla ("Carrincha"), and Aldo Canti ("Indio"). Rated PG-13.

Source: Region 1 DVD (MGM)
Running time: 01:46:07
Country: Italy

"All the lil' snaps wanna be like Clint, they all wanna be like Clint.
But I wanna be like Lee Van Cleef, you know I wanna be like Lee." - Primus

Lee Van Cleef plays a loner named Sabata, who drifts into the small town of Daugherty just in time to help recover a safe containing 100,000 dollars that was stolen from the Army. The thieves were a group of traveling circus acrobats, but it's soon revealed that they were merely pawns for the real thieves, and that the robbery was orchestrated by the town's corrupt officials, including a judge and an effeminate guy with a combover, whose position wasn't made clear at any point (I figured he was a land baron, but who knows). In order to wrong the rights, Sabata teams up with a mysterious banjo player, an alcoholic with impeccable knife-throwing abilities, and a mute acrobat.

Back in the day, one of the trends with the Spaghetti Western genre that a mysterious anti-hero would be introduced in a film, and in turn it would result in a number of cash-ins that claimed to be sequels of said film, which, if you think about it, is true exploitation filmmaking, especially when you consider the fact that some of these films had absolutely nothing to do with the movies they were claiming to be sequels of. The main example would be DJANGO, which spawned about 50 unofficial sequels, give or take (maybe more), and another lesser example would be SARTANA, which didn't reach the heights oF DJANGO in terms of acquiring false sequels, but it still had over a dozen films attached to it. SABATA is the first film in a trilogy and it's directed by the same guy who did the first SARTANA movie (Gianfranco Parolini, who directed the rest of the SABATA trilogy). While the Sabata character did pop up in a few more films, there were only two others that were considered official, with Lee Van Cleef only returning for one of them. The actual characters of Sabata and Sartana are similar in certain ways: both dress in black, both have an air of mystery to them, and both are driven by justice to do what they do rather than greed or vengeance.

It's no secret that Westerns (Spaghetti and otherwise) were influenced by the samurai films of Japan (and vise versa when the samurai films of the 70's drew influence from the Leone Westerns), and I don't know if it's because I've seen more samurai films since the last time I watched a Spaghetti Western, but it really shows in this particular movie. The heist scene at the beginning of the film is very similar to pretty much any scene from a samurai film involving ninjas, and Sabata himself is almost like a rōnin of the wild west, which, to be fair, can be said for most of these Spaghetti Western anti-heroes. Another similarity would be the theme of corruption, although there's not as much of an emphasis on it in this movie as there was in the samurai films that I've seen.

You all know I'm a horror guy, but I like to think I've seen enough Spaghetti Westerns to at least have a scale to fairly rate them on. SABATA has its moments, and I understand its main selling point was Lee Van Cleef, who was a big tough-guy star back in the day, but as a whole I feel it pales in comparison to a lot of the Westerns I've seen. Among the highlights in this movie, for me, were the unconventional weaponry (a convention of Spaghetti Westerns that I always get a kick out of), and the fact that the lead character sympathizes with the misfits and eventually aligns himself with them to take on the villains. Speaking of which, the banjo-playing character (named "Banjo", conveniently enough) was a one-man Greek chorus of sorts, which I thought was pretty cool. Also, I thought the music in the film was great. Good musical scores and Spaghetti Westerns usually go hand in hand, but this film's score in particular partly consisted of pipe organs, which is an instrument that I personally don't ever hear used in Westerns very often, if ever. During the heist scene at the beginning of the movie, the background music sounded like the theme from Fulci's HOUSE BY THE CEMETERY. I kid you not, man.

In the end, SABATA had a lot of the elements that I love about Spaghetti Westerns, including the feel-good twist ending, but it didn't compare to some of the better Spaghetti Westerns I've seen (some of which also star Lee Van Cleef). The villains in particular were a huge disappointment, as I felt they never really posed a significant threat to the titular character, let alone the team of Sabata and his group of misfits. I still like it quite a bit, but I probably won't go out of my way to see it again.

Score: 6.5

November Giveaway!

2011-11-05T00:07:00.000-07:00

Guess who got a sponsor for this month's giveaway? This guy! Courtesy of OMG Entertainment, I'll be giving away a Region B copy of ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE on DVD to one lucky winner. On top of that, I'll be throwing in all four CRITTERS movies on DVD. Yep, you read that right. Five movies, child. If you live in North America, keep in mind that, in order to view the MANDY LANE DVD, you'll need a Region-Free DVD player.

In case you're not familiar with OMG Entertainment, it's an online store that provides DVDs and Blu-Rays of the horror, exploitation, and cult variety, as well as t-shirts, film-related books and other goodies. Again, if you live in North America, don't be intimidated by the fact that they're based out of Europe; if you look around you'll be able to find DVDs and Blu-Rays that are playable in the U.S. and Canada. I highly recommend checking out OMG Entertainment; not because they're helping me out with this month's giveaway, but because... well, just go look at the store! It's awesome! Martijn from OMG Entertainment is providing a great service to fans of horror end exploitation with his online store, so please check it out, take a gander, and show some support. All of that being said, I'm doing something different for this month's giveaway. Just follow the next four easy steps to enter.

1. Follow this blog.

2. Head over to OMG Entertainment's Facebook page and click the "Like" button.

3. Head over to my new Facebook page for The Death Rattle and click the "Like" button.

4. Leave a comment on this post with your name and e-mail address. If you don't have a Facebook and are unable to complete the previous two steps, please include "No Facebook" in your comment.

I'll be picking the winner on Thursday, November 17th and announcing it shortly thereafter.

That's it! Good luck, everyone.

Revolver (1973)

2011-11-04T18:14:00.000-07:00

Directed by Sergio Sollima. Starring Oliver Reed ("Vito Cipriani"), Fabio Testi ("Milo Ruiz"), Paola Pitagora ("Carlotta"), and Agostina Belli ("Anna Cipriani"). Rated R.

Source: Region 1 DVD (Blue Underground)
Running time: 01:49:31
Country: Italy, France, West Germany

When Eurocrime flourished, directors and producers of the genre had a tendency to bring in tough-guy actors from outside of Italy to star in their films, and amongst those outsiders was British actor Oliver Reed, who, in REVOLVER, plays Vito Cipriani - a tough, no-bullshit prison warden whose wife is kidnapped by criminals. In exchange for his wife, the criminals demand the immediate release of Milo Ruiz, played by Italian pretty-boy Fabio Testi. Cipriani complies, but on his terms: he removes Ruiz from the prison himself and attempts to personally deliver him to the criminals to make sure that no harm comes to his wife. Strangely, Ruiz has no idea who the criminals are or why they want him free. Things go awry for some reason, and, next thing you know, the unlikely duo of Cipriani and Ruiz are headed to France to handle some business and rescue Cipriani's wife.

The first thing worth mentioning is, in my opinion, the best thing about the film: the score. The theme song in particular is amazing, and easily one of my favorite pieces of music that Ennio Morricone has ever produced. Apparently Quentin Tarantino is also a fan, seeing as he used the very song I'm talking about in INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS during the scene where - I believe - Shosanna kills the dude up in the projectionist booth. Compared to a lot of the Eurocrime movies that I'm familiar with, the music in REVOLVER is unusually sad. Moving on.

It should be noted that Oliver Reed is dubbed, which shouldn't be a surprise to anyone familiar with Italian cinema from back in the day. Everything was dubbed. In some cases, the same actors went back and dubbed their own voices (Franco Nero being the main example that comes to mind), but in this case it's someone else doing the voice-work for Reed. Luckily, the person who did the dubbing sounds a lot like Reed, but without the accent. Hell, it could have been Reed for all I know, but apparently he bailed as soon as his scenes were shot, so I doubt it. Speaking of Reed, while he doesn't emote very much in the film (I later realized that all of the screenshots I took of Reed had him making the exact same facial expression), his mere presence speaks volumes.

In particular, what I enjoyed about this film was the pairing of Ollie Reed and Fabio Testi. I wasn't blown away by their chemistry or anything, but as a fan of both actors' respective works, it's interesting to see these two worlds collide - Reed being the legendary "hellraiser" that he was, and Testi being one of the more familiar faces (and names) of Italian genre films. And while I'm on the subject of the cast, the actress who plays Reed's wife, Agostina Belli, is hands down one of the most beautiful Italian actresses I've ever seen. As far as the plot, I honestly could have cared less about what was going on despite there being a few twists and turns to keep things moving along at a good pace, just for the simple fact that I felt the plot was way too complicated than it needed to be.

Compared to the stereotypical entries in the Eurocrime genre, REVOLVER is fairly tame. There's a heavy drama element to the film rather than it being another shoot-'em-up, although the film does have its share of gunplay and car chases. I found REVOLVER to be a worthwhile viewing experience because of the cast and because of how stylish it was. Also, to be fair, the film does end on a strong, satisfying note, story-wise. Recommended, if anything, for the novelty of seeing Oliver Reed in a Eurocrime movie.

Score: 6.5

How to Kill a Judge (1976)

2011-11-04T00:09:00.000-07:00

Directed by Damiano Damiani. Starring Franco Nero ("Giacomo Solaris"), Françoise Fabian ("Anonia Traini") Pierluigi Aprà ("Giudice De Fornari"), and Giancarlo Badessi ("Onorevole Derrasi"). Not Rated.

Source: Region 1 DVD (Blue Underground)
Running time: 01:50:37
Country: Italy

Not a hairy macho bullshit movie per se, but HOW TO KILL A JUDGE deserves coverage for a couple of reasons. First, it stars Franco Nero, whose mustache is out of control in this. Second, it's directed by one of the more interesting filmmakers who tackled Eurocrime, Damiano Damiani. Focusing less on the exploitation elements of the Eurocrime genre (rape, dirty cops, kidnapping, bloodshed), Damiani's films are much more politically-driven than your standard Eurocrime movie. Prior to this I had only seen one of Damiani's other films (CONFESSIONS OF A POLCIE CAPTAIN, which I enjoyed), and based on the strength of that film I knew that I'd be remiss if I went out of my way to cover Eurocrime and didn't show Damiani some props.

Franco Nero plays a controversial, politically-aware filmmaker named Giacomo Solaris. He releases a short film that basically addresses (and exposes) the idea that State Prosecutor Traini has ties to the mafia and was involved in a flawed court case that saw a well-known criminal getting a slap on the wrist and set free. The short film ends with Prosecutor Traini being assassinated, which obviously stirs up some trouble for Solaris, who's threatened with charges relating to defamation of character. But before the threats turn to promises, Traini is actually killed, and Solaris is subsequently held responsible by those close to the Prosecutor. Lawyers, mobsters, and cops get involved; lots of speculation ensues and people mysteriously turn up dead.

For the reasons I mentioned earlier. HOW TO KILL A JUDGE may be a turn-off to anyone who goes into the Eurocrime genre with hopes of exploitation, but Damiani's films (well, the two that I've seen) can be rewarding. For example, this film in particular is heavy on dialogue and there's a lot of information to process in a very short amount of time, and despite the fact that it can be a bit confusing and a little too fast-paced in terms of dropping information, it's intelligent, well-acted, and incredibly well-written. I actually had to go back and watch the first part of the movie to get a better understanding of what was going on, and even by the time the movie ended I still wasn't sure who certain people were, but in going back and re-watching the first part of the film I was able to figure out who the killer was and pick up subtle clues that I missed the first time around. Well, I narrowed it down to two people and was ultimately correct in assuming one of them was at least involved.

Seeing as how the lead character of this movie is a director whose work gets him into trouble, one would assume that HOW TO KILL A JUDGE is a self-referential film full of commentary on the obvious, but according to Damiani it's not the case at all. The film is a murder mystery at it's core, and the point of the film, according to the director, was to play with peoples' expectations while making a commentary on how everyone is so quick to blame the mafia on everything when, in fact, anyone is capable of committing crimes. However, if you still want to look at HOW TO KILL A JUDGE as a "meta" film, it wouldn't be too much of a stretch.

While I did find the film to be impressive on a cinematic level, a lot of it went way over my head. Outside of what I see in movies, I'm not familiar with Italy's political troubles and how much of an impact the mafia has in the country, so the statements that the film try to make don't mean anything to me personally. Looking beyond that, it's still a solid and intriguing murder mystery regardless, with the political element being something that simply pushes the story along. The biggest problem I had with it, as I mentioned earlier, is that it has a tendency to be confusing in terms of who's who and putting names to faces, but the solid acting and filmmaking was enough to make me forget about that. Franco Nero, as always, is the man, and the supporting cast is great as well. Recommended, but not as a starting point to anyone looking to get into Eurocrime. Also, for what it's worth, I prefer CONFESSIONS OF A POLICE CAPTAIN.

Score: 6.5

Street Law (1974)

2011-11-02T01:55:00.000-07:00

Directed by Enzo G. Castellari. Starring Franco Nero ("Carlo Antonelli"), Giancarlo Prete ("Tommy"), Barbara Bach ("Barbara"), and Renzo Palmer ("Police Inspector"). Rated R.

Source: Region 1 DVD (Blue Underground)
Running time: 01:43:24
Country: Italy

STREET LAW is a vigilante film about a working-class citizen, Carlo Antonelli (Franco Nero), who becomes victimized by a group of thugs and later seeks retribution, refusing to be yet another statistic at a time when criminals were going unpunished. After failed attempts at getting the police involved (social commentary alert), Antonelli sets foot on a path to street justice ("I'm going to fucking keel those guys"), with his initial attempts at confronting the criminals seeing disastrous results. What sets STREET LAW apart from other films of its ilk is the meticulous manner in which Nero's character attempts to get payback. While most anti-heroes in these sorts of films are quick to grab a gun and disregard the very law that's failed them, Nero partners up with a wanted thief who acts as the middleman, more or less, between himself and the criminal underworld that he desires to infiltrate.

As far as the social commentary which I alluded to earlier, STREET LAW was director Castellari's response to a mutual frustration he shared with Italy's citizens regarding the lackluster judicial system. Apparently there were numerous cases of the guilty being protected while the victims were neglected in some form or another. In that context, Antonelli represents the everyman who acts as a superhero of the streets rather than someone who seeks bloodshed for selfish reasons; except in Antonelli's case, a superhero who repeatedly tries to fly but ends up falling in a dumpster and having the lid crash down on him.

While the teaming of Antonelli with a criminal results in an amusing odd-couple relationship, the focus of their partnership drags the story out longer than it needs to be. Frankly, I wanted more of the good shit. Castellari teases you with a strong opening (impressive scenes of violence, reckless car chases, and dangerous-looking stuntwork) before having that aspect of the film take a backseat for a majority of the running time in favor of storytelling and plot development. Not that I consider storytelling a bad thing, but in this film's case it seems to go in circles at one point rather than progressing, but maybe that's just me. Regardless, the focus on Antonelli trying to manipulate his would-be partner in the second act of the film becomes somewhat tedious.

STREET LAW is a noteworthy Eurocrime film for a few reasons. For one, the fact that it came out the same year as DEATH WISH prevents it from being lumped into the long list of films that attempted to cash in on the quintessential Charles Bronson revenge flick. Director William Lustig (MANIAC) has also apparently stated that this film was his inspiration for VIGILANTE. Ironically, STREET LAW was released years later in the UK as the sequel to VIGILANTE.

Perhaps one of the most important elements of the film is its theme song and score, composed by the De Angelis brothers. Nero apparently pushed for them to score the film, and, as a result, asked them to compose something outstanding. The result was "Goodbye, My Friend" - an initially downtempo song that builds to an explosive crescendo of shimmering guitars and distorted, screaming vocals. The song is used to great effect during my favorite scene in the film, which sees Nero running into a massive warehouse (the setting of the film's climactic showdown) as the building's lights simultaneously turn on. The song was recently featured in the film FASTER following the release of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's character from prison.

No stranger to Italian exploitation, the lovely Barbara Bach appears in the film as the love interest of Nero's character. One of the recurring conventions, or whatever you wanna call it, in Italian genre films is the physical abuse of women, as dished out by the hero! STREET LAW is no exception. as Bach is on the other end of an obligatory slap courtesy of Franco Nero, but of course she quickly forgives him and all is well. Gotta love those Italian women.

As I mentioned earlier, STREET LAW features some rather impressive scenes of violence. For one, the film contains some of the nastiest squib work I've ever seen. The squibs not only pack a punch and result in miniature body-explosions when people are shot, but one could easily assume that the squibs were also padded with ground beef, seeing as how messy things have a tendency to get. As far as the stunt work, many of the "bumps" taken in the film look legitimately excruciating and utterly risky. Stunt men are clearly hit by vehicles, launched from moving vehicles onto unforgiving surfaces, and in one case a stunt man takes a nasty back-bump off a cliff. On a side note, the opening heist sequence is amazing; the actors who play the hoods come out swingin', abusing anyone and everyone.

I'm no Eurocrime expert by any means, but I'd go so far as to call this essential viewing when it comes to the genre. On top of the fact that it's one of the more readily-available titles out there thanks to the Eurocrime-friendly Blue Underground, it stars one of the most important faces of the genre and is directed by one of the top filmmakers linked to Italian crime films. Speaking of which, while I wouldn't necessarily call the cinematography exceptional, the actual camera work is pretty great (Castellari knows how to film action). It also features all of the elements and familiar set-pieces you could ever expect from a Eurocrime film (shootouts, car chases, great music, etc). As I watched the film, I honestly got a little bored during the second act for reasons I mentioned earlier, but it opens and closes on very strong notes, and, ultimately, it was a film that I thought fondly of and wanted to watch again when it was all said and done.

Score: 7

Interview w/ EUROCRIME! Director Mike Malloy

2011-11-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

To kick off a very special month on The Death Rattle, I have an interview with a gentleman by the name of Mike Malloy for your reading pleasure. Mike is a journalist, filmmaker, and 70's tough-guy cinema aficionado. In this interview, we talk movies and discuss a few of his current projects, including a highly-anticipated documentary he directed called EUROCRIME!: THE ITALIAN COP AND GANGSTER FILMS THAT RULED THE '70S (currently in post-production), and an upcoming "Abortion Western" he starred in called THE SCARLET WORM. Mike also did an interview with the fellas at the Gentlemen's Guide to Midnite Cinema a while back that you can listen to here, in which Mike goes into great detail about his Eurocrime documentary and a number of other film-related topics. Below you'll also find some exclusive screenshots from the EUROCRIME! documentary provided by Mr. Malloy himself! Enjoy.

The Death Rattle: It's obvious you're very passionate about film because of how busy you keep yourself with writing, directing, and even acting. Was there a certain turning point in your life that made you a film fan, or was your love for film gradually developed over the years?
Mike Malloy: When I was a sophomore in high school, I somehow ended up with a bunch of friends who were seniors. So after they graduated, I felt very alone at school in my junior year. I started gravitating towards -- and identifying with -- all these loner characters in cinema: Bronson's Depression-era drifter in HARD TIMES, a bunch of Spaghetti Western antiheroes -- hell, even Kowalski in VANISHING POINT. I also identified with characters who were greatly out of their element -- like Jon Voight's character in DELIVERANCE and Joseph Cotten's character in THE THIRD MAN. I went on to get a book contract to write Lee Van Cleef's biography when I was 19 (which was really too young), and I moved out to L.A. and joined the staff of the (now-defunct) CULT MOVIES MAGAZINE. I think I was the only guy working in those cult-film circles who didn't care much for horror, sci-fi or fantasy. To me, it's all been about the tough-guy shit.

DR: Your upcoming EUROCRIME! documentary seems like a promising reflection of the genre. What was your gateway Eurocrime film, and was there anything in particular (movie, director, etc.) that compelled you to want to tell the story of the genre?
MM: There seem to be two general routes to discovering Eurocrime: (a) Horror movies ---> Italian horror movies ---> Italian genre directors' other works ---> Eurocrime. And then there's (b) U.S. tough guys ---> U.S. tough guys' Italian movies ---> Eurocrime. I took route (b), through actors like Van Cleef, Bronson, Savalas and Palance. Again, I dig cinema that rings true to life. And in a way, you can't get much more authentic than the Eurocrime genre, as the real-life organized crime of '70s Italy bled over into the making of the films. Also enhancing the realism was the fact that actors -- even leading men -- performed their own stunts. So once I learned how these films were made, I wanted to tell the story in a documentary.

DR: Any particular favorites of the genre, as far as actors, directors, or films?
MM: It's been said a million times before, but actor Maurizio Merli is incredible. Here's what I say about him in the narration of the doc: "In countless polizieschi, he displayed his prowess for one-tracked policework, almost like a flesh-and-blood Robocop. He possessed not only the usual physicality of Eurocrime stars, but also crime-fighting reflexes that seemed almost involuntary, proving that busting no-good hoodlum punks was in his blood down to the cellular level."

DR: In your own words, how would you sum up the documentary, aside from the obvious?
MM: It strives to be exciting and briskly paced, yes. But it also isn't afraid to slam on the brakes now and then and go beneath the surface on a particular subject. That sets it apart, I feel, from some of the recent cult cinema documentaries we've seen, which just beat you over the head with the most sensationalistic soundbites and clips.

DR: Judging by the IMDB page, it seems like you got as many people who were involved in the genre on board. Was your intention to get as many people as you possibly could, or was it something that just sort of happened as you went along?
MM: On our first shoot, I flew out to Los Angeles one day, interviewed four actors on camera the next day, then flew home the day after that. Those interviews were John Saxon, Leonard Mann, Joe Dallesandro and Antonio Sabato. I started making demos with the footage, and I felt I could *almost* tell the story of Eurocrime with those four. But I wanted some directors, so we got Mario Caiano and Enzo Castellari. And I wanted a writer, so we got Claudio Fragasso. And I wanted dubbers, so we got Michael Forest and Ted Russof. And I wanted an actress, so we got Nicoletta Machiavelli. And I wanted character actors so we got John Dulaney and Sal Borgese. And I wanted a stuntman, so we got Ottaviano Dell'Acqua. And I wanted someone who had shot Eurocrime movies in America, so we got Fred Williamson. And I wanted someone who had done co-productions with exotic countries like Turkey, so we got Richard Harrison. And I wanted Henry Silva and Chris Mitchum, so we got Henry Silva and Chris Mitchum. You get the idea…

DR: Are there any actors or directors you wanted to interview for the documentary but couldn't for whatever reason?
MM: Well, the one creative demographic we never could get was a composer. We were very close to getting two, but neither interview materialized. It's a shame, as the angry funk soundtracks are almost more popular now than the films themselves.

DR: Is there anything specific about the finished product that you're proudest of?
MM: I'm proud of all the graphics I created that kept this from being a talking-heads doc. We really had a tough time getting behind-the-scenes or historical photos, so I tried to create production value where there was none. It took a lot of extra time, but I'm pleased nonetheless. Talented animator Chad Kaplan also helped in that respect, dramatizing behind-the-scenes stories so that we had cutaways.

DR: The documentary was quite the project for you, and now that it's pretty much out of your hands are there any other big projects you have lined up?
MM: I'm involved with a number of feature-film projects in development, and I'll be playing my first mobster soon, in a Prohibition bootlegging film. And I have two cinema docs I've been working on -- one of which even takes me out of my beloved 1970s.

DR: Acting wise, you're starring in an upcoming Western called THE SCARLET WORM. Can you please briefly talk about the film, what it's about, and the character you play?
MM: I'm the secondary villain, er, "heavy," even though my role is just a few scenes. The primary heavy is a demented brothel owner played by cult actor Dan van Husen (SALON KITTY, CUT-THROATS NINE), who mandates abortions on his whores, whether they want them or not. That, in fact, is the story element that sets our Western apart. Without being a message movie, it dares to center around brutal cathouse abortions in the early 20th Century West. I guess that's why, without being a horror Western, we keep getting press in places like FANGORIA and keep getting selected by festivals like The Telluride Horror Show. We had a mainstream distributor approach us about SCARLET, but they wanted to re-title it, downplay the controversial material, and re-package it as a generic shoot-em-up. So we're happy to have ended up with the fearless distributor Unearthed Films. The Blu-Ray and DVD street on December 6.

DR: I'm sure you've seen your share of hard-to-find films, casually and as part of research for the documentary and an aborted book project you worked on years ago, but in this day and age when pretty much everything is accessible, are there still any holy grail films on your radar? And on that note, what's a holy grail film you've actually seen that was the hardest to come by?
MM: I know everyone is on the edge of their seat about THE FARMER -- will Code Red DVD release it or not? That '70s revenger has somehow managed to elude the grey market. Based on the trailer, I don't expect it to be a lost masterpiece of gritty cinema, but I'm curious to see it. Then, there are plenty of rare films that I'm interested to see, and they may be out there, but I've never put enough effort into finding them. Like, I know Roy Scheider did a pair of French Eurocrime movies in the early '70s, but the only one I've seen is THE OUTSIDE MAN. I loved -- LOVED! -- that movie, but for some reason, I've never put any effort into tracking down the other one he made, THE FRENCH CONSPIRACY. Again, it may be out there, but I've never run across it on the gray market or with traders.

As for rare movies I've found, I've collected numerous copies of the hard-to-find pre-record VHS (both British and Italian) of YOU AND ME, the "lost" David Carradine biker movie. Even though David directed himself in the movie, he lost track of the elements and the workprint, and he didn't even have a decent copy on tape. So I was very pleased to give him one of mine. The film was never *really* finished to David's satisfaction; the version released on tape is a pretty rough cut, and that's the version that got a little-seen theatrical release in spotty pockets of the globe. I'd still love to find one of those release prints somewhere, which is something David once e.mailed and asked me to do for him.

DR: Any guilty pleasure movies? Come on, I know there's at least one title you can drop on us.
MM: I wrote the Van Cleef biography while in college, and the cable provided in my apartment building accidentally had some of the premium channels still connected. I remember DISCLOSURE -- the Crichton story starring Demi Moore and Michael Douglas -- was playing in steady rotation, and that was my favorite film by which to procrastinate.

DR: Is there anything you'd like to say or promote before we wrap this up?
MM: At risk of sounding like a dogmatic jerk, I'd just like to say we cult film fans should toughen up a bit. I know some of us dig watching ninjas versus sharktopuses, and mega-crocs versus dino-zombies. But I think we should all watch more Lee Marvin instead. Let's evolve beyond manboys.

DR: Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule, Mike. Best of luck to you, and I speak for many people when I say that I can't wait to see the EUROCRIME! documentary.
MM: You're the coolest. Most Eurocrime fans are.

Links:
The Scarlet Worm on Facebook
Eurocrime! on Facebook