Half-Way, Holmes: The 10 Worst Movies I Saw This Year, Pt. II

#5 PROWL - One of the films from the recent batch of After Dark releases, PROWL revolves around a young woman who makes a move to the big city and has her friends tag along on a road trip. Well, the road trip goes horrible wrong when they catch a ride with a truck driver and end up in an abandoned warehouse inhabited by bloodthirsty creatures. Based on reviews that I've read, people have argued that PROWL is a worthwhile film, but I obviously couldn't see anything redeemable about this movie other than its interesting plot twist. I found the premise of this film to be decent and somewhat refreshing, but the execution left much to be desired. I didn't like any of the cast members or the characters, and I found the movie to be quite boring. In the end, this will probably go down as one of my least After Dark movies, which says a lot since I'm typically not a fan of their releases anyway.

#4 AMERICAN PSYCHO 2 - What drove me to watch this, I had no idea. This is one of those "why bother" kinda movies. I knew what I was getting into when I did see it, so I really shouldn't talk a lot of trash on it. To be fair, I did try to watch this pointless sequel as a standalone film and made an attempt to not compare it to its predecessor, but I still couldn't find anything redeeming about it other than it being "cute". But, for comparison's sake, it lacks everything that made the first AMERICAN PSYCHO worthwhile: the insanity, the violence, the sex, so on and so forth. I don't really have anything else to say about this movie other than it was extremely "meh".

#3 GRIM - A group of concerned residents of a small town investigate a series of tunnels and caves to find the source of what's causing mysterious cracks to appear in the walls of their homes. Instead, they come across a ferocious beast who can walk through walls. Sounds like a potentially good time if you're in the mood for a bad movie, right? Yeah, not so much. GRIM is indeed bad, but not a good, unintentionally funny bad; it's just BAD. I've seen a lot of awful movies in my twenty-nine years on earth, and GRIM features quite possibly the absolute worst group of actors I have ever seen in my life. Explaining why this movie is terrible, or what aspects of it in particular are bad would be pointless and tedious, because everything about this movie stinks. The only thing remotely interesting about GRIM has nothing to do with the movie itself, but rather an actress who appears in it - Kadamba Simmons (pictured above). While her acting abilities were pretty much non-existent, she was a gorgeous woman who tragically died just a few years after this movie was made. You can read all about her story here.

#2 LIVE FEED - This is simply torture porn at its most basic... and most boring. A group of Canadian tourists are in China and they end up in a porno theater that doubles as a motel where you can rent rooms on an hourly basis (surely to grab a quick shower, no doubt). Long story short, they get locked in the building and a butcher in a bondage mask proceeds to torture them in creative ways as its broadcast on a closed circuit for a Chinese crimelord. Luckily for the Canucks, a Japanese cop seeking vengeance on behalf of his fallen brother breaks into the theater, guns blazing, but whether he has what it takes to take on all of the Chinese goons and the sadistic butcher is another story. Bloodbath ensues. Everyone in "China" speaks English.

When Canadian director Ryan Nicholson says that his sole purpose of this film was to display obscene amounts of gore, it's hard to fault it for its failure in pretty much every other department. He wanted to make a splatter movie and he most certainly succeeded, creating a relentlessly repulsive piece of work with LIVE FEED. A woman gets a snake shoved down a tube in her throat. Another character is forced to consume a severed penis. But, just because you make a gore movie doesn't mean it has to suck. Some of the great gore movies have some style, or at the very least have a moderately interesting story to tell, but not this one. The acting, the script, and the dialogue are all atrocious and the film ends on such a blah note. Aside from the insane amount of blood and abundance of female nudity, LIVE FEED brings nothing to the table.

#1 BIRDEMIC: SHOCK AND TERROR - Yes. I get it. This movie is supposed to be bad. But, the thing is, there's a difference between cult movies that are "so bad they're good" and a film that's pre-packaged to be a "so bad it's good" cult movie. BIRDEMIC falls into the latter category, and it's simply a cheap way for a no-talent retard like director James Nguyen to make a name for himself. The fact that his plan worked and so many people "drank his Kool-Aid" both sickens and disappoints me. I'm not gonna lie, there were a couple of moments in this film where I laughed out loud, but a good majority of it (I'd say about 95%) is just terrible. I question whether James Nguyen purposely went out of his way to make an inept film with BIRDEMIC, or if he really is that talentless. Whatever the case, this wasn't just the worst movie I watched all year, it was one of the worst movie I've ever seen in my life, and God help me if I ever come across something worse than BIRDEMIC this year.

Half-Way, Holmes: The 10 Worst Movies I Saw This Year, Pt. I

As you know, I've been posting lists all month long which have been recapping the movies I've seen during the first half of the year. In case you missed them, I covered the ten favorite movies I watched for the first time this year, my ten favorite re-watches, and thirteen honorable mentions that didn't quite make my list of favorites but were still worth mentioning. This is the last of the lists I'll be posting, and I decided to split it up into two parts for no particular reason. I watched a lot of shitty movies this so far this year, but these are the worst of the bunch... and they're all horror movies! Go figure.

#10 UP FROM THE DEPTHS - Half-eaten human corpses are turning up off the coast of Maui and are believed to be the result of attacks by a prehistoric mutant fish that was released from an underwater cave during an earthquake. The manager of the tropical resort where most of the film takes place is angered that the recent tragedies are chasing the tourists away, so he takes it upon himself to put a bounty on the fish's head, and so a hunt for the aquatic predator ensues.

Filmed as a follow-up of sorts to PIRANHA, UP FROM THE DEPTHS is typical of the Roger Corman productions from that era: cheap, exploitative, and arguably entertaining. Did I mention "cheap"? If the goofy-looking mutant fish was reflective of the film's budget, I'm guessing it was pretty slim. Nearly everything about the filmmaking aspect of this B-movie ranges from average to terrible. As far as the acting, I wouldn't go so far as to call it "good", but it's appropriate for a film such as this, and lead actress Susanne Reed is easy on the eyes, so there's that too. In general, there's tons of scenery-chewing, especially from actor Kedric Wolfe, who played the resort manager. It's rare that I see anything like it in films, but Wolfe somehow manages to butcher the English language here despite it being his native tongue. However, it should be noted that about ninety percent of the actors in the film were dubbed in post-production, and I'm not sure why. In most cases, the dubbing doesn't even match up with the actors' lips. It's like they gave a bunch of drunk people microphones and had them ad-lib the dialogue.

UP FROM THE DEPTHS is pretty much a cinematic disaster, but it's so bad that one can't help but be entertained by it. The awful dialogue itself makes the film worth checking out. Personally, I laughed so much while watching it that it was quite easy for me to overlook some of it's shortcomings. It works as an unintentional comedy, but as a horror movie it's a complete and utter failure. Watch out for an uncredited (and dubbed!) R. Lee Ermey in a very small role.

#9 PSYCH:9 - In the midst of a failing marriage, Roslyn (Sara Foster) gets an overnight admin job at a recently-shut-down hospital, organizing patient files and whatnot. With the exception of the pathetic security guard who sleeps outside in a booth all night, and Dr. Clement (Cary Elwes), who occasionally shows up to clear out the upstairs psych unit, she works alone. It isn't long before she hallucinates and begins hearing strange bumps in the night during her shift. Meanwhile, there's a serial killer on the loose, who the media has dubbed "the Nighthawk". The killer has a fondness for bludgeoning women on the back of the head with a hammer.

Unfortunately, the final act of the film completely falls apart and gets rather sloppy, ultimately not making much sense and contradicting certain things that were established up until that point. What starts out as a somewhat clever psychological thriller eventually turns into a cliched horror movie. There's even the whole recap montage/highlight reel that spells everything out, just in case you missed all the "clues" that were given to you in the first two-thirds of the film.

#8 COUNT DRACULA - COUNT DRACULA is stylish, but also incredibly slow. Apparently, director Jess Franco had good intentions with this film and wanted to make as accurate an adaptation of Stoker's novel as he possibly could, but the final product is rather sloppy. It lacks a score in scenes where music would be essential in creating tension, which, combined with the low amount of dialogue and the slow pacing and the constant meandering, etc., results in a very boring film. Franco's lingering camera shots work in some scenes, but they're more mind-boggling than anything. In one particular scene, the camera slowly zooms in on Van Helsing as he sits in complete silence, locking his hands together for seemingly no reason and wearing an expression on his face that gives the impression he's trying to drop a deuce in his pants. He then proceeds to look directly at the camera for a few seconds, and then the film cuts to another scene. Huh?

#7 PANDEMIC - If director Armand Mastroianni's name sounds familiar, you may know him from the TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE series, or the '80s slasher he directed called HE KNOWS YOU'RE ALONE. Mastroianni has directed quite a bit of horror, but mostly in the world of television. While most directors like Mastroianni get steady work, the problem with their films (television or otherwise) is that they usually lack any style, and such is the case with this particular television mini-series that was released on DVD as a three-hour film. PANDEMIC simply tells a story and meets requirements, and if I were to guess, I'd say that Mastroianni had a limited budget to work with.

An Australian boards a plane to Los Angeles, bringing with him some sort of unknown virus that takes a major toll on its host. By the time the plane lands in L.A., the Aussie is dead and the plane's passengers are being taken away by the CDC (Center for Disease Control). Of course the media gets involved, people panic, and one of the passengers peaces out, taking what remnants of the virus that he's carrying out into the public. As you'd probably guess, the virus spreads and all hell breaks loose. A sub-plot involving an F.B.I. agent hunting down a criminal, who was being transported on the plane from Australia and later escaped, is placed in the film to add something extra to the virus storyline and more than likely pad it out.

There's enough going on in PANDEMIC to make you want to see how it's going to end, but you'll most likely want to hit the fast forward button to get there. Overall, a somewhat decent production, good cast, uninteresting story, and the minimal budget definitely shows.

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#6 CHAIN LETTER - What starts out as a social networking/technology-themed teen slasher ends up turning into a police procedural that follows a couple of inept detectives (Keith David and Betsy Russell) as they investigate a string of grisly murders. A psychopath sends out a chain e-mail. Whoever breaks the chain and doesn't pass it on to at least one person is subsequently abducted by said psychopath, thoroughly punished, and viciously slain.

Without getting into too much detail, the film tries to make a commentary on the lack of safety and privacy that comes with most modern electronic gadgetry (GPS, hackers, etc). The psychopath (who, for some reason, is a large musclebound man who wears mummy-like bandages over his face) is supposedly part of a group of terrorists who hack personal electronic devices, or something like that. Maybe I'm wrong, but there are mentions of a terrorist group of sorts, and the film's killer is shown operating a laptop in his dimly-lit dungeon of doom. The film has an anti-technology theme, which is fine since I'm not a big fan of unnecessary gadgets like iPhones myself, but the ironic thing here is that I spent most of the film's running time on my cell phone because I was so bored. One thing that is noteworthy about CHAIN LETTER is how insanely violent it is, but other than that, it's a cliched and poorly-written slasher with one of the WORST endings I have ever seen.

Check back on Friday for the rest of the list.

Half-Way, Holmes: The Top 13 Honorable Mentions List

A couple of weeks ago I posted a list of the top 10 films that I watched for the first time this year, and this week's list is made up of 13 Honorable Mentions that obviously didn't make the "Best" list, but are films that I think are still worth mentioning. I posted this in a rush and didn't get a chance to proof-read it, so I apologize for any grammatical errors and whatnot. Be sure to check back next week for the dreaded WORST list.

#1 THE LOVELESS - Made for peanuts, co-directed by Kathryn Bigelow and starring a baby-faced Willem Dafoe in his debut role, this is a period film set in the 1950's about a gang of greasy bikers who set up shop in a small rural town and raise hell. THE LOVELESS is like a combination a longer version of Kenneth Anger's SCORPIO RISING with dialogue and what would happen if David Lynch directed a remake of THE WILD ONE. Not a lot of substance to speak of here, but it's right up my alley when it comes to style.

#2 THE AMERICAN - Had some reliable sources not strongly recommended this, I probably wouldn't have even bothered with it. I could honestly care less about George Clooney and I was under the impression that this was just some generic action/thriller in the vein of the BOURNE films, and boy was I wrong. THE AMERICAN isn't so much about the shootouts and the explosions as it is about building tension and creating a mood. The film takes place in Italy, where George Clooney's character - a weapons designer (and butterfly enthusiast!) - is hired to construct a custom gun for a client in the midst of apparently being hunted down by someone who wants him dead. THE AMERICAN is a quiet, atmospheric, and beautifully-shot film, which isn't what I would have ever expected from it. This would have been more than an honorable mention if I didn't see the ending coming from a mile away.

#3 FAIR GAME - I watched this when I went through a phase this year where I tried to watch as many new DVD releases as possible on a weekly basis, regardless of the genre. I went into a lot of movies cold, and while a lot of the films turned out to be exactly what I expected, FAIR GAME was one of the films that turned out to be so much more. This is a solid political thriller based on the circumstances surrounding former real-life CIA officer Valerie Plame's sudden dismissal from the organization and how her ties to the organization were unfairly revealed to the public because of her marriage to an outspoken diplomat who questioned Bush's "War on Terror". Nothing much more to say about this one other than it's a really well-done and entertaining movie, with good performances from Naomi Watts and Sean Penn.

#4 PERFORMANCE - Check out my review HERE.

#5 DAUGHTERS OF DARKNESS - Having watched the Spanish horror film VAMPYRES before this, I went into DAUGHTERS OF DARKNESS expecting something similar - an atmospheric and bloody entry into the lesbian vampire sub-genre with the pacing issues that a lot of Gothic Euro-horror movies seem to suffer from. Well, it delivered in terms of the atmosphere, but it also provided me with a surprisingly intriguing group of characters, as well as an interesting approach to the vampire genre. In the end, this was and still is one of the best unconventional vampire movies I have ever seen. Check out my review HERE.

#6 CAT PEOPLE - I'm not sure what anticipated going into this other than it being an erotic horror film, but I certainly wasn't expecting such an atmospheric and gorgeous piece of cinema. CAT PEOPLE has a very European vibe throughout despite the movie taking place in New Orleans, and the fact that Ferdinando Scarfiotti served as the art director for this may have played a huge factor in such an impressive style. Scarfiotti also worked with director Paul Schrader on AMERICAN GIGOLO, and his knack for using vibrant colors in both lighting and set design to create a certain mood were evident in that film as well. Perhaps more mesmerizing than the style of the film itself is actress Nastassja Kinski in one of her sexiest roles. I absolutely love the synth score as well. Check out my review HERE.

#7 BURIED - While it looked promising to begin with, and the thought of Ryan Reynolds being buried alive seemed appealing to me, this was still a big surprise. I want to high-five director Rodrigo Cortés for making a film that consists ONLY of Ryan Reynolds in a casket underground for 90+ minutes interesting and pacing it as well as he did. The story constantly moves and Cortés uses certain camera tricks and cleverly incorporates lighting to keep the film visually interesting.

#8 MEGAN IS MISSING - Say what you will about the acting and the quality of the film, but this movie blindsided me and hit me like a semi-truck in a way that not a lot of films have ever done before. The last twenty or so minutes are amongst the hardest-to-watch moments in film I've ever experienced, and when it was all said and done I was bothered by it for days. The movie is flawed on a technical level in many ways, but this is one of the instances where I can overlook that because of the effect it had on me and because of director Michael Goi's intentions and the research he put into the project. Months later, it's still one of the most disturbing movies I've ever seen. Check out my review HERE.

#9 FOUR LIONS - A satirical British comedy that focuses on a group of Muslim would-be suicide bombers as they prepare to sacrifice themselves in the name of Allah. Director Christopher Morris took a risk by making a film about such a touchy and seemingly taboo subject - and a comedy no less - but upon watching the film, you quickly realize that it's approached in an intelligent way that never compromises the comedy aspect. The suicide bombing aspect isn't glorified and it's far from glamorized, but at the same time the religious beliefs of the Muslim characters in the film is treated with respect and never downplayed. If you take a step back and look at it in a certain way, the conventions of a heist movie involving a group of bumbling characters are present. I could go on about the film, but I'll just say that it's one of the funniest movies I saw this year and I grew attached to the characters despite what their intentions were. Performances were great all around, but actor Kayvan Novak shined, and Preeya Kalidas is a stunning actress who I'll be on the lookout for.

#10 THE LIMEY - In my opinion, one of director Steven Soderbergh's most memorable films thanks to some unorthodox editing and a great performance from Terence Stamp as a pissed-off Brit who travels to Hollywood with hopes that he can put the pieces of the puzzle together in regards to the mysterious death of his daughter. THE LIMEY partly focuses on the awkwardness of Stamp's character adapting to not only life outside of prison after spending a considerably long stint behind bars, but the culture shock that he gets when settling in Los Angeles. There's a great supporting cast here as well, with Peter Fonda, Barry Newman from VANISHING POINT, Luis Guzman, Joe Dallesandro, and Nicky Katt, but it's ultimately Stamp who knocks it out of the park. Soderbergh includes footage from one of Stamp's older films, POOR COW, as flashback scenes, which is a nice touch.

#11 ELECTRA GLIDE IN BLUE - Robert Blake plays a highway patrolman who compensates for his short stature with an impenetrable, by-the-book dedication to his job. He seizes the opportunity to ride along with a homicide detective as he conducts a murder investigation, which becomes an eye-opening experience in the sense that a career as a detective - an aspiration of his - isn't all it's cracked up to be. This is a fairly stylish piece of 70's Americana cinema with a somewhat intriguing story and a wonderful ending. Check out my review HERE.

#12 THE DISAPPEARANCE OF ALICE CREED - A well-crafted kidnapping film full of twists and turns. What makes this one stand out to me is that it relentlessly throws curveballs at you all the way to the end, resulting in an unpredictable outcome; not to mention the fact that it's very well-done for starring only three people and taking place inside of a house for the duration of its running time. Plus, Gemma Arterton gets naked a whole bunch.

#13 HIGH LANE - A backwoods horror movie from France, in which a group of hikers gradually fall prey to someone - or something - lurking in the mountains of Croatia. While pretty standard in terms of being a horror movie, HIGH LANE benefits from great character development. The gorgeous Fanny Valette quickly became one of my new favorite Final Girls of all-time after seeing this. Not a groundbreaking film by any means, but I dug it quite a bit.

Half-Way, Holmes: The Top 10 Movies I Re-Watched This Year

It's Friday, which means it's list time once again. In case you missed last week's list and are too lazy to scroll down a couple of posts, I'm spending the month reflecting on what stood out as far as the movies I watched this year so far. This week's list will probably be the most uninteresting of the bunch for you all to read, but whatever... it was easy to put together, so yeah. Shut up. The title of the post speaks for itself, so let's get crackin'. Also, my pal Dusty from Playground of Doom did his own version of the list I posted last week, which you can check out here.


#10 OCEAN'S TWELVE - I'd probably put this higher on the list, but it doesn't really count as a re-watch. The first time I saw it I didn't really pay much attention to it, so when I watched it again a few months ago it was basically like watching it again for the first time. I'm a huge fan of director Steven Soderbergh because of how versatile he is in terms of both the style and substance of his work, and the first two OCEAN'S movies are good examples of his A-films. Let's also not forget that Soderbergh is a great cinematographer as well, and this film is absolutely spectacular on a visual level. There are certain things about OCEAN'S TWELVE that annoy the shit out of me, but for the most part it's a lot of fun and I can see it holding up well should I re-watch it again in the near future.

#9 CLEAN, SHAVEN - Director Lodge Kerrigan brings schizophrenia to the screen in perhaps the best cinematic representation of mental illness ever made. The film follows a mentally-disturbed man (Peter Greene) as he attempts to adapt to life outside of an institution and track down his estranged adolescent daughter. I first watched this movie during my high school years and was quite disturbed by it, and there were moments in the film that stuck with me through the years (including one of the gnarliest fingernail-removing scenes ever and a haircut that gets a little too close to the scalp). The film's been on my mind a lot in the last year, so I thought I'd revisit it a few months ago to see if it held up. Watching it now, I have a new appreciation for it on many levels: Greene's performance, its importance as an indie film, and how Kerrigan uses sound and editing to convey the impact that schizophrenia has on a person. On a side note, the Criterion release features an excellent commentary track with Kerrigan and Steven Soderbergh, which ties into the previous entry on the list and segues into the next...

#8 TRAFFIC - The first time I saw TRAFFIC was right around the time it came out on DVD. I hated it. I expected a thriller and didn't really get that. I also had no idea who the fuck Steven Soderbergh was back then. In the last couple of months I've been on a bit of a Soderbergh kick that ended when I watched the awful GOOD GERMAN but will likely pick up again in the near future as I still have a desire to watch pretty much everything he's directed up to this point. That being said, I gave TRAFFIC another chance, and I think the means of when and how I watched the film had a lot to do with how much it won me over this time around. Just me in a dark room, in a speedo, watching it on my laptop with my earphones plugged in. It was an intimate experience, just me and TRAFFIC, and I found it to be very rewarding. Great score and solid performances from the impressive ensemble cast (especially Michael Douglas), and I loved the look of the film. Surprisingly, wearing only a speedo did nothing to enhance my viewing experience.

#7 VINYAN - I was a little worried about this one. That initial viewing was a motherfucker, and based on the strength of that first viewing I considered it to be one of the best representations of New French Extreme cinema. However, I put the risk of it not holding up aside in favor of a strong desire to see it once again, and thankfully it held up just as well but I can't see myself watching it again anytime soon for the same reason I was hesitant to revisit it in the first place. Director Fabrice Du Welz created an equal parts nightmarish, atmospheric, and gorgeous horror film with VINYAN, and the exotic-looking Emmanuelle Béart was just as mesmerizing as the movie itself. To say that I'm highly anticipating Du Welz's next project would be an understatement.

#6 BLADE II and BLADE: TRINITY - I'm sure you're sick of hearing about the BLADE movies by now if you caught any of the ill-fated Death Rattle Arena posts I did a while back, so I'll keep this one short. BLADE II has always been a very entertaining and re-watchable film for me, but up until a couple of months ago I only saw BLADE: TRINITY the once and I fucking hated it. For some reason, I really enjoyed the shit out of it the second time around for a number of reasons. For one, it's both surreal and extremely cool to see Parker Posey and Triple H as members of the same vampire posse. Also, Jessica Biel is one of the sexiest women alive and I've kinda lightened up on Ryan Reynolds as of late. Those abs! Fun fact: I couldn't remember how to spell "posse" while writing this ("possie", "possey"). What the fuck. Thanks, spell-check.

#5 THE CRUCIBLE - Another movie I saw in high school and didn't watch again until recently. I didn't like it too much back then, probably because it was too long or something. It's so fucking solid on just about every level. I love the inherently over the top and chaotic nature of the film's performances; the fact that it's based on a play really shows. And, as always, Daniel Day-Lewis kills it.

#4 THE DEVIL'S ADVOCATE - I'm probably in the minority when I say that I love the loud, scenery-devouring post-SCARFACE Al Pacino more than the old-school Pacino. He has a great voice and delivers lines of screaming dialogue like no one else; his whole monologue about God being an "ABSENTEE LANDLORD!" at the end of this movie is a prime example of this. Now that I think about it, I'd easily put the whole back end of this film on a list of my all-time favorite movie climaxes, and this is partly due to "Paint it Black" closing out the film, which always brings a smile to my face when I watch this. I've only seen this film about four times, maybe five, and it always holds up really well.

#3 V FOR VENDETTA - Yet another movie on the list that I only saw the once back it first came out. I caught it on television a few times since but never watched it all the way through. I think the space of time between my first and most recent viewings (five years?!) were key in how much I enjoyed it this time around. It was almost like watching it again for the first time even though I already knew what was going to happen and how it would end. There's really not a lot to say about this movie. It's a well-crafted, entertaining film and wonderfully acted by one of my favorite actresses, Natalie Portman. Hugo Weaving did a stellar job, considering.

#2 THE PRESTIGE - Abracadabra, bitches. Easily my favorite Christopher Nolan film (fuck INCEPTION) and legitimately in my top twenty movies of all time. To me, this is one of the most well-paced movies I've ever seen and brilliant on so many levels. I love this movie so much that I can't even write about it right now. Also, I promise not to include the phrase "on so many levels" in any of my posts for at least a week.

#1 ROAD HOUSE - True story: Late last year I watched this movie three times in a row. Three fucking times in a row! I barely ever watch three movies in a single day let alone the same movie three times in one sitting! Absolutely ridiculous. And not, like, having it on in the background, but sitting there and actually watching it. You know what, though? I probably could have watched it a fourth time. Just a couple of months ago I found myself missing the late Patrick Swayze and reflecting on his career, so I watched ROAD HOUSE once again and it was still a blast. A combination of this film being a product of its time and the fact that - as a former bouncer - I can relate to the profession that serves as the focus of most of the film are just a couple of the many reasons why I love it so much. By the time you read this, I may have watched or am at least considering watching ROAD HOUSE again. Just sayin'.

Half-Way, Holmes: The 10 Best Movies I Saw This Year

6 down, 6 to go. With the year half over, I thought I'd do a half-time report of sorts and post a list of my ten favorite movies that I watched for the first time this year. Unfortunately, nothing that was released this year made the cut, but then again I haven't watched a lot of 2011 films so far and probably won't until the year draws to a close. I'll be posting related lists every Friday for the rest of the month, so stay tuned.

#10 BLUE VALENTINE - It doesn't happen often, but every once in a while I'll watch something just for the sake of being relevant in the film-loving community, and such was the case with this movie which I had no desire to see otherwise. Typically, I'm not a fan of movies about doomed relationships despite how much I can relate to them, but BLUE VALENTINE hit me on a personal level that very few films have. No matter how deeply in love two people are, this film brings to light the sad fact that it can suddenly all fade away with seemingly no reason whatsoever. To boot, it's a gorgeous film and well-acted by Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams. I much prefer it to another film from last year that it gets compared to a lot, RABBIT HOLE, which may show up on my "most disappointing" list.

#9 127 HOURS - Many have complained that director Danny Boyle's stylish tendencies were a bit overwhelming in 127 HOURS, which took away from the story that the film was trying to tell. I, however, found the style aspect of the film to be its saving grace because it added "color" to a film that could have been boring in the hands of a lesser filmmaker due to the inherently downbeat nature of the story. The sequence where James Franco fantasizes about the Gatorade bottle in the back of his truck, amongst other things, is easily one of my favorite moments in any film that I've seen this year.

#8 SUNSHINE - One of the most visually-stunning films of the last decade, in my opinion, and a good companion piece to modern-day Sci-Fi films like SOLARIS and MOON. It would probably be higher on the list if it weren't for the controversial and much talked about conclusion of the film. It wasn't so much that I had a problem with the awkward, unexpected turn that the film takes in the back end, but rather the execution. Otherwise solid, and what an amazing score by John Murphy.

#7 ELECTRIC DRAGON 80000V - I went into this bat-shit crazy Japanase film with no expectations and almost blind if it weren't for the fact that I saw director Sogo Ishii's post-apocalypse punk epic BURST CITY prior to this and at least knew what sort of filmmaker I was dealing with. While I wasn't a huge fan of BURST CITY as a whole, this sixty-minute juggernaut of manga-style action mixed with relentless, heavily-distorted rock n' roll blew my mind and had me clapping like a seal and fist-pumping like a cast member of the Jersey Shore on Meth by the time it was over.

#6 SANTA SANGRE - Prior to seeing this, I had an appreciation for director Alejandro Jodorowsky's work, but I never considered him to be much more than an interesting albeit very pretentious filmmaker. Well, it's still the case now that I think about it, but I can't deny that SANTA SANGRE is one of the most ming-blowingly beautiful genre-bending films I have ever seen.

#5 FROZEN - To say that I was impressed with this film would be a huge understatement. I was one in a long line of Adam Green nay-sayers prior to seeing this, but FROZEN proved that he's capable of making a great film, or at least that he's competent at what he does, which is far from what I got with his so-called "old-school American slasher" HATCHET. What surprised me the most about FROZEN was how well it was paced considering the plot, and the amazing score, which, to me, enhanced the film in a way that was unlike anything else I've seen this year, with the exception of THE SOCIAL NETWORK and maybe SUNSHINE.

#4 SLING BLADE - I'm not sure what finally provoked me to watch this staple of 90's American cinema, but it sure surpassed any expectations I had for it. For about two hours, or whatever the running time of this was, I was so mesmerized by the amazing quality of this film and how genuinely endearing it was that I completely forgot how much of an egomaniacal douchebag Billy Bob Thornton is.

#3 THE FIGHTER - Really had no desire to see this and only did so because of Christian Bale. Ended up absolutely loving it and I don't understand why so many people are hating on Bale for his performance in this, seemingly just because he won the Oscar and not John Hawkes. Considering who he played, I think he nailed it. I also thought Wahlberg was fine, but then again I don't mind him as much as a lot of people I know do. Despite how much I enjoyed it, however, I have no desire whatsoever to see it again any time soon.

#2 BLACK SWAN - Just when I thought I wasn't gonna get a chance to see this on the big screen, I finally got a chance to do so when my shitty local theaters decided to jump on the bandwagon building up to Awards season and finally show it in favor of what ever 3D garbage was out at the time. And what a great cinematic experience it was. It held up well when I revisited the film on DVD, but I don't want to push my luck and watch it again any time soon with hopes that I can preserve my positive outlook on the film and not grow tired of it.

#1 THE SOCIAL NETWORK - When I compiled a list of my favorite films from last year back in January or February, this was at the top of the list. After watching more films from last year that I never got around to over the last few months, it's still my favorite. It didn't blow me away or hit me with the impact that some of the other films on my list did, but when I combine how much enjoyment I got out of the film, how awesome it was on a technical level, and how rewatchable it is, none of the other films come close.